Corpses fill the city streets........
haha you said your box is empty
Corpses fill the city streets........
Well.....it is.
I wonder......... How many mailmen get laid during their route on a daily basis ? what is the percentage ?
I'd say under 5% do on a daily basis. The percentage is probably higher if you look at those that get laid on a weekly or bi-weekly basis.
why do I have the feeling that you've already looked into it ?
haha actually I haven't but it is a very interesting question. I wish I knew some mailmen that I could turn to for an answer to this.
someone just dropped off food at my co-worker's desk and he left for the day. I'm going to steal it !!!!
Have you ever caught anyone stealing your lunch?
no but I just got caught right , but I played it off very well and the chick said I could have it. Did you catch someone ?
I think you need to go undercover and get me those results. I want you to try hard to score and video tape every encounter for research purposes.
Yeah but he didnt eat it, he threw my lunch away thinking he was doing everyone a favor (cleaning out the fridge). I made him buy my lunch that day and then sold him some bunk later that week.
Along those same lines I wonder if Plumbers really lay alot of pipe. Do you think they get some action on housecalls?
Mailmen probably score more trim than plumbers because generally mailmen are in better shape and probably more attractive to chicks.
You want a mailman with all the answers?
Shet. None of you young'uns will probably even get that one.
I got that one. I was a big Cheers fan back when I was a kid.
There is nothing Cliff Clavin didn't know.
The thought of Cliff Claven scoring on a daily basis is funny to say the least.
Ma taught him better than that.
Carla: If the Brady Bunch crashes in the Andes who would they eat first?
Woody: Well probably the maid, 'cause she's not kin
Cliff: Yeah, but if they were smart they would ask her the best way to prepare herself.
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Cliff: Interesting little article here. It says that, uh... the average human being only uses seventeen percent of his brain. Boy, you realize what that means? We don't use a full, uh... sixty-four percent.
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Cliff: Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
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Woody: What's a Freudian Slip?
Cliff: That's when you say one thing when you're actually thinking about a mother.
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Cliff: How would the Civil War had changed if Abraham Lincoln had octopus tentacles instead of a beard?
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Cliff: Did I ever tell you kids about the first Thanksgiving? It took place between the ancient Egyptains and aliens from a distant galaxy.
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[Sam tries to hotwire Cliff's disabled car]
Frasier: Are you sure you know what you're doing?
Sam: Don't worry. My old friend Buck taught me how to hotwire a car.
[Sam electrocutes himself and falls to the ground]
Frasier: Sam, are you all right?
Sam: Diane?
Cliff: You see, Sammy. What your friend Buck never counted on was the Cliff Clavin Auto Security System. First, Mr. Car Thief gets the shock of his life, then the doors automatically lock and the alarm goes off.
Norm: Wait, the doors *lock*?
Cliff: Yeah, and the alarm should be going off. I don't know why it ain't working.
Norm: I guess I'll have to do it manually then...
[screaming at Cliff]
Norm: You locked us out of the car!
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Norm: Would you like to tell me what is tattooed on my butt forever?
Cliff: I love the U.S. Post Office.
[pause]
Cliff: What does mine say?
Norm: I love Vera.
Cliff: If you want I can come over and show Vera.
Norm: No, Cliff, that's all right.
Cliff: Then would you mind coming by the Post Office and show all the guys?
Shoog...that is too damn long to read.
Kids these days with their MTV attention spans . . .
Take an extra hit of Ritalin and try again . . .
I want some Ritalin. No wait, adderall. Adderall is kick ass.
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