Real Women

[ObiwanGinobili]

Speaking of the Dove girls, did you guys see on TV that the small brunette one (she's only a size 6 but has big breasts) went for a modeling job for regular models and they told her they don't deal with "plus-size" women?

dear lord.
I'd love to be her kind of "plus size" right now!!

[ObiwanGinobili]

I see your Shari and Lambchop and raise you a Kukla, a Fran, and an Ollie.

I'll call.
(seeing as how my hidden cards are :
H. R. Pufnstuff
and

Capt. Kangaroo ..........

I believe I have this hand in the bag baby!!)

[1369]

Not to fast there missy, why don't we make things interesting?

I'll call your black bar with my pair.

Liddsville



And the crusher.

I give you Charles Nelson Freaking Reilly as "Hoodoo"!

[Horry For 3!]

What tha are yall talking about?

[Horry For 3!]

this is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends, some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because this is the song that never ends

I remember that show.

[batman2883]

ha ha ha ha this is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends, some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and theyll continue singing it forever just because

[1Parker1]

Didn't that lady die? And I heard she was buried with the sock........

[batman2883]

when you need a friend, dont look to a stranger, you know in the end ill always be there...and when your in doubt, and when your in danger, take a look all around, and ill be there.....im sorry but im just thinking of the right words to say...i know they dont sound the way i plan them to be but if i have to ....

[batman2883]

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:


1. a friend

2. a companion

3. a lover

4. a brother

5. a father

6. a master

7. a chef

8. an electrician

9. a carpenter

10. a plumber

11. a mechanic

12. a decorator

13. a stylist

14. a sexologist

15. a gynecologist

16. a psychologist

17. a pest exterminator

18. a psychiatrist

19. a healer

20. a good listener

21. an organizer

22. a good father

23. very clean

24. sympathetic

25. athletic

26. warm

27. attentive

28. gallant

29. intelligent

30. funny

31. creative

32. tender

33 strong

34. understanding

35. tolerant

36. prudent

37. ambitious

38. capable

39. courageous

40. determined

41. true

42. dependable

43. passionate

44. compassionate


WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls



AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:



51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself

52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself

53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes



IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:



54. Never to forget:

* birthdays

* anniversaries

* arrangements she makes

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked

2. Bring food and beer

3. Hand over the remote.

[ObiwanGinobili]

15. a gynecologist

speaking of.
my OBGYN is pretty HOTT. I should've stuck with the lady doctor I had last time.

[Slomo]

That's a real woman! (safe to open at work)

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/tm...name_page.html

[ObiwanGinobili]

That's a real woman! (safe to open at work)

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/tm...name_page.html

DANM!!! I wish that was my grandma! I love a tough ol'bird!
I'm posting this article so i can glance at it all day long......

GOAT LADY,93, GRIPS ROBBER Aug 19 2005

By Michael Christie

A 93-YEAR-OLD woman helped trap a robber by grabbing his testicles.

Soja Popova boasted to police later she had "a grip like iron" from years of milking goats.

The woman had been shoved to the ground after opening the door to two young men at her home in Klaipeda, Lithuania.

But she fought back by grabbing the genitals of the robber nearest to her and squeezing "with all my force as hard as I could".

She said: "He started screaming like an animal and his friend was trying to pull him free, but I have a grip like iron."

The man's screams of agony and his friend's shouts for Soja to let him go alerted neighbours, who called police.

The pair were caught in the street outside after escaping through a bedroom window.

A police car was waiting to take the injured man to hospital for treatment and his accomplice away to a jail cell.

A police spokesman said: "They would not have got far. One of them could hardly walk and he actually seemed pleased when he saw the police car.

"He demanded he be taken to hospital because he was in so much pain

[SpursWoman]

[TheTruth]

[batman2883]

ha ha ha ha

[SpursWoman]

Then get the out of it.

[batman2883]

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[ObiwanGinobili]

well I guess my lifelong quest to please The Truth has failed.





[/more sarcastic then the greatest sarcasm ever]

[batman2883]

[/more sarcastic then the greatest sarcasm ever]

ha ha ha ha ha more sarcastic then the greatest sarcasm ever ha ha ha now that is funny.......damn girl you really do get buck up in hurrr dont you

[ObiwanGinobili]

is it too early for pizza?

[batman2883]

no eat that cold

[ObiwanGinobili]

good. casue I'm goign for a 2nd peice of sausage and pepperoni.

[batman2883]

Damn straight now pour some carmel

[1Parker1]

MMMM. Pizza, that's what I had for dinner last night. One with green peppers and one with Jalapeno peppers. I had a cold slice this morning! There is nothing better than eating a cold slice of pizza the next day.

[Ginofan]

I just heard the best joke EVER!

What were Davy Crockett's last words?

"What are all these landscapers doing here?"





Okay well I thought it was hillarious.