Okay, I will take what you say for what it is worth. It is a typical and common opinion, and one I once shared as well.
But I can say without a shadow of doubt that my belief in God has nothing to do with laziness. I spent years exploring various religions and religious books when I was an atheist in hopes of finding the reasons for why people had what I considered at the time silly notions.
I even used the word "delusional" on occasionally too, before giving up on it as being a waste of time. I studied deep into the esoterical reasons behind it too.
Motivating all of this, other than the obvious, was inspiration for song material. And for the most part, that was all it served me.
But later, a few unexplained and what I can only term as impossible events happened to me causing a chain reaction inside of me that led to some inner revelations.
These "experiences" were "subjective" and could never be explained in laic terms, and especially not to someone like myself at the time, an atheist,.
Even God loving and believing individuals could not grasp it.
I came to realize very clearly that "what was truly wrong" was the way I had deluded myself into thinking the way I had as an atheist for so long.
So if you prefer to think me delusional, then have at it, that is your prerogative, but "it is merely your opinion", one I no longer can share with you, and it does not bother or disturb me in the slightest,
I am content and at peace with all around me.
I do not expect you to believe anything I SAY or WRITE about this in your present state of mind, and especially since you perceive me as being vague, or as you say "unwilling".
I sure as didn't back then either, when I thought as you do now, but you and others are always welcome to try to change my mind.
Why?
Because to KNOW, and consequently BELIEVE IN, God, you must first quiet your mind, either willingly or unwillingly, and that is HOW, and more importantly WHEN, you can understand to a tiny extent, and realize, God.
That is why I always say it is an "inner" and very "subjective" experience.
And that is also why I always counsel that if someone really and truly wants to know and experience God, then they MUST look WITHIN themselves, not without and around the universe.
That is the only TRUE way to KNOW of HIM.
Everything else in reality, is illusory.