I'm officially for hire. Personal life coach.

[Dr.Phil]

You can skip all this by just watching my show or send me a PM and we'll talk.

[peewee's lovechild]

Mods/Admins/members this is serious I'm not trolling here.

So here it is. I'm the guy who can change your life around or help you simply improve your current standing. I'm available for both male and females or anyone who may be confused. I'm a quick thinker with a knack for knowing what to do in unusual and unpredicatable times. I'll take a one on one approach with your life, complete with serious ears and thoughts, all while respecting your personal privacy. This can be email strictly or phone if you like. I'm not going to waste your time with analytical bull and question respones where answers belong. I will flat tell you what to do when you need answers. If I can't deliver a noticed improvement within an 8 month period I will refund your donation 100%. All payments by paypal only.

I specialize in:

Credit and Finance Management. I can help fix your ty credit. Just do exactly what I say and you'll see results within a reasonable amount of time. Unsure of what to do with your paychecks? I can advise you on how to get it all done and still have money for new shoes or an extra lap dance. Wanna buy something you can't afford? I can find a way to help get you there. Just simply do what I say. Wanna make a mid level to high end purchase? I know how banks, underwriters, sales staff work. I know all the little ty secrets in life and I know exactly how people will try to you over.

Religion and Human Value. Not sure what's real and what isn't. I know and I can help you find what you're looking for in life. Need meaning and purpose? I can help you understand what thats all about.

Intimate Relationships. This is a big one. Guys...wanna know if the girl is worth it? Wanna know what she means when starts spewing out and makes no sense? Wanna even begin to try and understand the outlandish thought processes of something with a vagina. I'm your man!

Gals...wanna figure out why guys do what they do? Why they have a wandering eye after the second date? Wanna understand a mans thought process and why he reacts the way he does? Wanna good plan to help trap your SO or partner? I got answers for you. Do what I say and it will all work out.

Gays...I'll try to help. I respect your attraction to wanting things to fit where they don't really seem to fit.

Understanding People and the Public. Having a hard time getting life? Wanna over a fellow co-worker or simply try to understand why you keep getting overlooked for that promotion? I get it and I'll help you sort it out.

I don't care how bad your situation is or what your problems are. I can help you. Just need someone to cry to or to vent on? I have special pricing for that kind of .

I will look into each and every situation with the proper attention it deserves. I have no cookie cutter answers and each person is different so you'll get a very personal approach to my efforts and I'll put a set price for each and every issue you have.

This is serious. You want help hit me up.

[Viva Las Espuelas]

Probably because he's not real. You of all people likely need my services.

I'll retact if this keeps you from running in circles making no sense for two pages only to finish it off with your typical hate reference to Maynard or Tool.

you must have some neck muscles to keep that big head of yours erect. good luck with your new found.......whatever you wanna call it. remember maynard loves you.

[BacktoBasics]

See here. Now this guy gets it.

[BacktoBasics]

you must have some neck muscles to keep that big head of yours erect. good luck with your new found.......whatever you wanna call it. remember maynard loves you.

My head is of average size and girth and is proportion correctly to my body height and weight. I'm sorry you spend life spinning your wheels for nothing.

Ahhhh the Maynard reference. Just wouldn't be you without it.

[Viva Las Espuelas]

I'm sorry you spend life spinning your wheels for nothing.
.

what's your fee to correct that?

[BacktoBasics]

what's your fee to correct that?

I'd have to get to know more about you to really determine an actual cost. Then we'd have to define "fix" or "help make better" as it pertains to your life and situations.

To guess... I could see giving you a good 30 hours a month for about 6 months and then evalutate from there. Cost could range from 150-600 monthly depending on what needs to be done and the amount of attention and hours I put into you.

[Viva Las Espuelas]

on a side note. 46 & 2 just came up on shuffle in my iPod. he does love me.

[Viva Las Espuelas]

I'd have to get to know more about you to really determine an actual cost. Then we'd have to define "fix" or "help make better" as it pertains to your life and situations.

To guess... I could see giving you a good 30 hours a month for about 6 months and then evalutate from there. Cost could range from 150-600 monthly depending on what needs to be done and the amount of attention and hours I put into you.

so where do you draw your methodology from. what all goes on in this evaluation? hypnosis? tarot cards? palm reading? aromatherapy? shock therapy? swedish massage, perhaps?

[Viva Las Espuelas]

your videos are getting better. just give it time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=liEz9dKo4PM

[BacktoBasics]

so where do you draw your methodology from. what all goes on in this evaluation? hypnosis? tarot cards? palm reading? aromatherapy? shock therapy? swedish massage, perhaps?

Common sense and reality. Like I said I don't sugar coat like everyone else. I also don't expect you to ask yourself a load of pointless question to solve your own problems. If you could solve your own issues you wouldn't be contacting me.

[Viva Las Espuelas]

Common sense and reality. Like I said I don't sugar coat like everyone else. I also don't expect you to ask yourself a load of pointless question to solve your own problems. If you could solve your own issues you wouldn't be contacting me.

mmm. sugar coated . my favorite. maybe i need guidance to see if i actually have problems.

[tlongII]

No thankyou.

[degenerate_gambler]

personal life coach....


the sad part is there's probably alot of clueless, inept people that could use someone to draw out a map of their life and send them on their merry, ignorant way...and take their money at the same time.


nice gig dude.

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

Good luck with this one!






What a country!!

[Zombie.]

lame

[stretch]

my balls itch relentlessly. solution?

[smeagol]

B2B, are you serious?

[peewee's lovechild]

B2B, are you serious?

He'll give you the Argentina discount.

[BacktoBasics]

B2B, are you serious?

Without a shred of doubt I'm serious. Look I'm not going to dole out your typical run of the mill do gooder advice. I'm not going to answer your questions with a question and the massage you into solving your own issues. I give advice that yields the best result regardless of how we get you there. You get satisfaction. It amazes me how day in and day out people make the most ridiculous mistakes because either they don't know what the they're doing or they're willing to eat crow for no good reason.

[smeagol]

He'll give you the Argentina discount.

I can afford the full price

[smeagol]

Without a shred of doubt I'm serious. Look I'm not going to dole out your typical run of the mill do gooder advice. I'm not going to answer your questions with a question and the massage you into solving your own issues. I give advice that yields the best result regardless of how we get you there. You get satisfaction. It amazes me how day in and day out people make the most ridiculous mistakes because either they don't know what the they're doing or they're willing to eat crow for no good reason.

I have read you thoughts about helping other people.

Not sure I'm up for more advise that goes in that same direction . . .

[peewee's lovechild]

I have read you thoughts about helping other people.

Not sure I'm up for more advise that goes in that same direction . . .

He can help with your erectile disfunction.

[smeagol]

He can help with your erectile disfunction.

I have three kids to prove that is not a problem of mine.

So how's life avoiding La Migra?

[peewee's lovechild]

I have three kids to prove that is not a problem of mine.

So how's life avoiding La Migra?

You can't have ED later on in life?
That's news.

La Migra is my friend.

I was born here, were you?

You better flash that green card or you'll get deported, my little smeagol.

[smeagol]

I was born here

I thought you were a proud Aztec.

Sorry, my bad.