And some fathers do the same. What place does that ridiculous drivel have in a real discussion?
Once again, some women DO HAVE TO WORK. Who is denying that? I'm just putting forth the opinion that it MIGHT be in the best interest of the kids that if mom doesn't have to work, she shouldn't. Be cool, don't get defensive. Everybody does what they have to do.
my mom worked full time as a nurese when she was married to my dad and after their divorce. the money she made from that job really helped my family and she still had plenty of time to be an excellent mother. because some people can't manage it, it doesn't mean women shouldn't be in the workplace.
edit: this is not in response to your latest post, desflood.
You are failing GoN philosophy 101. EVERYBODY seeks convenience. Have you ever fed a child a bologna sandwich?
Ok, but what place does pointing out that some people do what might not be int he best interests of their kids? Sure, some women might not, but some fathers might not as well.
The idea that a woman's number one obligation is to bear children and care for them is flawed. Seriously so.
Don't try to wiggle out of what you said either. You want to know what's worse than people with bad viewpoints? People with bad viewpoints who try to wiggle out of them.
I understand what you're saying. But it's not convenient for me to be here at home! We're living paycheck to paycheck, the house is never totally clean and my brain has turned to mush from lack of adult mental stimulation. But it is what's better for the kids, so that's why I do it.
Who said anything about obligation, Manny? I don't think women are obligated to have kids at all.
Well, you certainly cannot expect adult mental stimulation when you dredge the spurstalk political forum - I call it the NBAdan rules.
You opt to be a stay at home mom; I respect and admire that (sincerely, I do), but like it or not, you pay an economic price for your decision. Just don't go raggin' on others who choose greener pastures, no matter how misguided they may be..
Never ever say that when you know women are going to be reading it. At least not to women who don't consider Donna Reed's television career their reason for living.
Why does Mom have to stay at home? Why does Mom have to reinforce obsolete gender ideals? If we're going to go all-out equal, then why doesn't Dad stay at home?
I grew up with a stay-at-home Dad (he worked from home), and I think I got more out of that than if I'd had Mom at home. I didn't expect a mother to be there with milk and cookies when I got home from school, and I also developed a much better relationship with my father - and they say that a girl's relationship with her father will be a model for all her future relationships - doesn't a girl deserve to get a healthier start? And wouldn't that give boys another way to look at gender iden y?
I think that it is best to have someone at home for a child, even if it's another relative, but that's not always possible - and some parents want to be able to live in better neighborhoods for better schools for their kids, and they want to be able to pay for more of their college, and why give up all the available luxuries in life just because you have children?
And while I'm at it, why shouldn't Mom go to aerobics? God forbid our mothers be healthy enough to make us cookies and milk longer and provide us with an active example that more overweight children need.
I think your view here is very close-minded and sexist - you may want to think about what you type a little longer before you do.
I don't think those ideals are obsolete, nor should they be.Why does Mom have to reinforce obsolete gender ideals?
B.S.and they say that a girl's relationship with her father will be a model for all her future relationships
Okay, what if you have all that to your satisfaction ... good neighboorhood/good schools, money put away for education, vacations, and emergencies. Then, should the mother still work?I think that it is best to have someone at home for a child, even if it's another relative, but that's not always possible - and some parents want to be able to live in better neighborhoods for better schools for their kids, and they want to be able to pay for more of their college, and why give up all the available luxuries in life just because you have children?
I vote No.
i blame it on the god damn kids themselves for not being able to sit in a ing class for 45 min without having to yell or ing talk to their ass buddy about going to sonic after school. ing sit down and shut your mouth and listen to what the teacher is saying and pass ur ing tests.
Honestly, stay at home Mommy's gym membership is the first line of defense against cheating husbands. Cynical, but oh so true.
The ideals aren't obsolete situationally - I think it's a problem when it is automatically expected that a mother stay at home just because she is the mother. That is obsolete.
I think that a woman's relationship with her father can have a lot to do with future relationships. A bad relationship can scar you (the same is true with mothers) and a good one tends to set a higher bar for future relationships (which can be good when being realistic, or can backfire and set standards way too high, setting you up for disappointment). Everything has an effect on future relationships, and I think it's worth it to give a child the best chance possible for functional sociability.
I didn't say that the mother shouldn't stay at home if the family has everything they want without her working - my point is that I think it's better if anyone - including the mother - is at home with a child than putting a child in daycare - but you do what's necessary.
Do you believe the mother's role is more of a nurturer than a father's?
I believe that your relationship with your caregivers as a child (no matter who they are) can have some effect on how you handle many things in your future. But I don't believe necessarily that just because you had a bad (or non-existent) relationship with a parent that it will certainly affect you negatively. Sometimes when you struggle as a child or young adult, it makes you stronger and you handle adult relationships even better.I think that a woman's relationship with her father can have a lot to do with future relationships. A bad relationship can scar you (the same is true with mothers) and a good one tends to set a higher bar for future relationships (which can be good when being realistic, or can backfire and set standards way too high, setting you up for disappointment). Everything has an effect on future relationships, and I think it's worth it to give a child the best chance possible for functional sociability.
I think the role of the nurturer goes to whomever dominantly decides to take that responsibility, it doesn't have to be the mother. I think a parent's role is whatever they decide it is, and in the child's case the parent's role is whatever they perceive it to be - there's a balance to take into consideration. I think it's both parents' duty to nuture, but that doesn't necessarily happen evenly - nuturing just needs to be present.
Case in point: my relationship with my mother.
But yes, we can learn from those bad relationships if we want to and allow ourselves to.
Not that you were asking me, but yes. Just last week my youngest girl spent two days in the hospital with pneumonia. I was good for a happy meal, one of those trendy squishy pillows in the shape of an animal, and a hug. Beyond that, nothing but mommy mattered.
Conveniently, Mom was there to fill the void.
Every morning when I was little, I called for Dad to come get me out of the crib. I knew who would actually get their ass out of bed. That mentality has stuck. Need to about a boy? Call Mom (cos Dad has no idea how to respond). Need help/comfort/etc? Call Dad.
You might want to think about your relationship with your daughter - if you care about having one that is!
What is great is that a thread about the failing school system evolved into a women lib dispute! The classic school system in place in most western democracies is not cutting it anymore the curriculum is either too vast (and therefore not detailed enough to be useful) or too restricted/specialised making it difficult for people to migrate between industries. Most classic teaching methods are inadequate for teaching new emerging sciences.
Many countries are seriously working on a school system reform (the Scandinavian nations for one) in order to counter the cheap and capable workforce that is coming from Asia.
Please don't look over your shoulder so you won't notice the Chinese stampede (and a few other nations too)!
Oh Please! My relationship with my daughter is fine. My point was, that when a child is sick, they want their mom. At least mine do.
Most kids do seem to prefer one parent over the other.
it would depend on the parent who baby's their kid more.. my gf's sister's kids always cry for their dad bc he babys them... it drives me nuts sometimes...
No, it depends on who they're used to being around them all the time. I don't baby my kids, especially since they are 9 and 12. Because I am the one that's home with them, they are used to asking me for things. My husband can be standing right next to them and I can be upstairs and they will hunt me down to ask for something. If I'm not mistaken, GON's daughters (btw, I'm glad she's okay...how scary!) live with their mother so it's only natural for them to ask for her.
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote