(248): Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Chances this is the same girl I spoke of a few months ago = 70%
(313): Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
(1-313): None he's f-d
(651): remember, never get drunker than the gals. we want their judgment impaired, not ours
FTW!!!
(214): I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
(972): I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Wow...a text from a vet in S.A.!
(210): Dogs love guiness but it s up their kidneys
405): I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
(1-405): Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Some of them are just kind of sad and disconcerting:
(805): I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
(434): ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
(415): Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
(914): im gay
(203): i know
(914): yea but for you.
(810): My t9 writes chubies instead of es.
(1-810): either way. win, win.
(419): take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
(813): I'm ing your sister right now.
(1-813): You mother er
(813): She's next.
(617): I would do horrible things to your vagina.
(978): Prove it.
I think this site may have been infiltrated by fakers. Not cool.
(469): Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
(216): Where the is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
(440): Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
(216): Holy r u serious? How?
(440): Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
(617): dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my .(612): What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?(603): not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
(330): and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
(909): College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
(281): I just know...goodntight
(1-281): Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
(281): I just know...
(1-281): Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
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