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well help him out then.
That is a very good point.
well help him out then.
hey ash if you're 'taking callers' let me know
Yeah, it was an interesting paradigm with my parents. My late father was old school Asian, so failure and fooling around were not allowed. However, as I grew older and was achieving things, he soften up his stance a little bit. He passed away the semester I was going to graduate from college, so he missed out on that in this world--hopefully he saw the end result. My mother, on the other hand, was always the one who kept me chasing the dream. She never went to college and only had a high school diploma (a stay at home mom...), but she was wise in the way of how life is supposed to be lived. For the most part, they both kept installing the idea that being positive and able to succeed is not impossible for anyone. That there are other alternatives to joining a gang or doing the sometimes easy, but wrong things as a child. So I owe alot of gra ude to my parents and I'm a big believer that without some positive reinforcement, a child doesn't have the sense of direction.It is likely you are able to take negatives and turn them into positives because your parents were such positive influences in your life.
Because your parents built a strong foundation of self confidence in your life, you don't get shaken up or broken down by haters.
Good for them and good for you!
I'll tell you why:
I have a son who is a whiz with legos. Buildings, spaceships, neighborhoods, you name it, that boy can design and build it. He's a pretty bright kid, and I'd like to see him in college for engineering or architecture someday. If I didn't tell him he could do it he'd probably end up like my dad, breaking his back in construction for years until his body gives out and leaves him broke and searching for a new career at 40 or 50.
Have i ever told you how much I love you?
I understand a little what the OP is saying. I had a parent tell me this week that her daughter is going to be a pediatrician. I am sorry but she made a 20 on the last chemistry test. How is she going to get into medical school?
Hey Juggs, I need some help too.
I just think that if you tell a kid that they can do anything or be anything that it has the possibility of bringing disappointment to them when they're older. Why would you want to disappoint a kid like that? That stuff can mess them up in the head.
Think of it this way: when you take your first physics class, they don't throw LaGrangians and the Principle of Least Action at you (even at MIT or IIT). You're not doing variational problems in your first mechanics class. They don't start throwing the more accurate theories like Quantum Mechanics at you right away. You'd die in this hypothetical first class unless you had the IQ of Einstein. They teach it by bits and pieces, because the big picture is way too complex to understand without some experience with the easier things first.
Similarly, you can't tell a kid "well, you'll never be that fighter pilot because of your four-eyes", because he's not going to see the big picture and why he should be getting As in his science class. He's not going to see he could be a kickass electrical engineer pulling 6 figures in 15-20 years if he keeps working hard and doing well. The world is too complex to be able to tell a kid the whole truth right away.
Completely agree with OP. Its stupid. I don't think there's one reason that people do it but there's several I can think of.
Pride for one. People actually do think their kids can do anything. They can't of course. No amount of hard work is going to make Jeremy into a track star and no amount of hard work is going to make your kid with an IQ of 83 into a physicist. But of course you think they're oh so incredible and your sperm (or egg - whatever) surely made a child capable of inventing the (better) wheel.
I also think people can't deal with telling their kids the truth. Its giving them hope to tell them they can be ANYTHING when in reality they can't. We're not a very honest society - we prefer grandeur. Look at how many people buy into the American dream bull or how many people blow money on lotto tickets (OMG I COUDL BE THE ONE OMG WITH HARD WORK I CAN BE BILL GATES).
Actually the more I think about it the more its really just the so called American dream in another form.
Don't think you're giving kids enough credit.
Well, I'm not talking about someone in jr high or high school or something. All that American dream 'you're gonna be a millionaire' horse should be long dead by then.
I don't think there's anything wrong with delaying the inevitable bitterness and pessimism that comes with the reality of age and experience. If your 3 year old little girl wants to be a movie star, then that's what she'll be. Kids have the attention span of a gnat ... what they want to be when they grow up is going to change 6463213546320 times.
They are just kids, for crissakes. Humor them.
Now that my little 3 year old movie star is a 14 year old freshman in high school, she has more realistic *dreams* of being an architect or an engineer. With her skill set it's a very attainable goal, that she can achieve with hard work and determination.
If your child is 32 and still living in your basement whose biggest dream is scraping up enough cash for a pizza and an extra wireless controller, I'd very vocally discourage that.
completely agree with the OP.
the parenting in this movie is much better.
you tell your kids they can be anything they want to be because you love them.
you also raise them to be aware of the reality of the world.
then you let them make their choices.
I think some of you take this too literally or think your kids will. I encourage my kids every single day to strive for their goals and dreams. Will there be disapointment and failures along the way? Sure there will be but that doesn't mean they should give or just settle for less.
I also think too much emphasis these days in all the all mighty dollar and seeing how many figures one can pull in. For me it is never about the money or fame but doing what makes them feel good be happy. I know many couples and individuals who making 6 figures but that doesn't mean they are happy with their lives or where they are in life.
If being disapointed about ones accomplishments or lack of is going to mess with their head that I think they have to learn that life will always have its ups and downs but hope is a good thing...maybe the best of things.
Every parent needs to make their own decisions and no two parents are alike at least that has been my experience.
I've also learned that not giving your child encouragement or hope doesn't help at all. I encourage mine to try their best and if they enjoy it then fine but just because they may not be the next Michael Jordan doesn't mean they shouldn't play basketball or the next Einstein doesn't mean they should not take physics. Learning and growing from ones failures or disapointments is a good thing. Never trying is a bad thing, IMO.
I concur.
I can understand the OP's point of view but don't agree that it is brainwashing. But that is just me.
Because, unless you're mentally deficient, you can do almost anything, if you work hard enough. That's the part most people forget. They just stop at the dreaming and imagining.
I see your point, but I've always thought the real crime is what our society programs us with bull that s up our relationships. Since we're little, (especially women) are programed with all this Disney fairy tale bs about prince charming and all that jazz so they grow up subconsciously expecting a man to cater to their every need and pursue them and bring all this prince charming bs when it just isn't real. Relationships and co-existing peacefully and happily with another person has become the single hardest thing to manage because of all the societal brainwashing that takes place when you're young.
It seems that the people that agree with the OP don't have kids. It's easy to say how you would feel or what you would do when you don't have kids.
I think it's hilarious how people tell you how you should raise kids when they themselves have never been a parent. "Oh but I have a dog and it is like my child"
The dog one is always funny. After I say a story about my kids and they say "yeah thats just like my dog.." I just want to laugh.It seems that the people that agree with the OP don't have kids. It's easy to say how you would feel or what you would do when you don't have kids.
I think it's hilarious how people tell you how you should raise kids when they themselves have never been a parent. "Oh but I have a dog and it is like my child"
Man, you're sensitive. You can't just tell your kids their dreams are pointless and that life sucks? They may cry, but happens.It seems that the people that agree with the OP don't have kids. It's easy to say how you would feel or what you would do when you don't have kids.
I think it's hilarious how people tell you how you should raise kids when they themselves have never been a parent. "Oh but I have a dog and it is like my child"
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