The Rabbit
Do those double as bongs?
Yeah, unless you've figured out a way to make BronxCowboy, Jr. vibrate, you're SOL when finding a vibrator that won't show you up. I'd stock up on size C batteries if you're still getting the vibrator, my friend.
I don't think BronxCowboy knew what he was getting himself into. Dude, your washing machine can probably show you up.
No offense.
Rambone Dildo
What it is: A freakin' huge dildo, cast from the freakin' huge member of a porn star. 15" long, 7 7/8" around and 2 1/2" thick. Most effective if used with a ton of lube and cheesy background music.
What it does: Lets you re-enact your favorite scenes from "Caught From Behind #4".
Who uses it: Women who want to feel like they're in a porn movie. Women whose guys have dinky members.
Other uses: Keep it by your bed to knock intruders unconscious.
Get her this.
The Accommodator
What it is: A rubber strap-on dildo you wear on your chin "to assist oral pleasure."
What it does: You're supposed to use it to your girlfriend while you eat her out... provided she can stop laughing at you once you put it on.
Who uses it: Guys who can't get it up cuz they ran out of Viagra and have to make it up to their girlfriends by giving them face.
Other uses: At Halloween wear it on your nose for a Pinocchio costume, or just go as "Crazy Dildo Face".
I'll have to respond when I get home.....I can't post any of the links from here. I've the perfect thing that wouldn't (or shouldn't anyway) make any real, live man feel otherwise insignificant. He would probably really like it, too.
What it does: You're supposed to use it to your girlfriend while you eat her out... provided she can stop laughing at you once you put it on.
very unlikely scenario.
At Halloween wear it on your nose for a Pinocchio costume, or just go as "Crazy Dildo Face".
@ the dildo mask.
This thread is good without pictures.
I was thinking the same thing.
Man a few years ago my mom and i were late and watching the Jay Leno show, and there was this old ass woman who was talking about sex, and she had all these dildos and vibrators on the show with her.
When that lady put that dildo mask on i nearly keeled over laughing, my mom couldnt figure out what it would be used for. Imagine having to explain that one to her! HA!
I bet that was the lady who does the Saturday Night Sex Show on Oxygen. She cracks me up!
Funny, true story from when I was in college ...
I had two female roommates. One was a good friend of mine and the other was this tacky that I couldn't stand.
The three of us were eating dinner one night and the says, "When I went home to my parent's house this weekend, my mom was all mad at me and I didn't know why. I thought that it was because she found out I USE HER VIBRATOR WHEN I'M AT HOME, but that wasn't it at all ..."
Needless to say, I was laughing for like a month.
In fact I'm still laughing
And that's just gross!
oh, gross. but funny
Thats just NASTY...eww eww eww!!!!!!!
And yes s y i think it is her! That old lady is disturbing the first time you listen to her, then it becomes hillarious when you make your other friends watch it and see the reaction on their faces.
On her show, she uses the wooden dolls that artists use to help them draw, to demonstrate positions. It cracks me up! However, I think she should use Barbie and Ken, even though Ken is pretty light in the loafers.
Not that there's anything wrong with that
I concur.Any vibrator that "won't show a man up" isn't worth a woman's time.
And in closing, a vibrator will NOT replace love-making. It's just a nice little handy tool to have around once in a while. Also, it's important to note in your decision-making there is a difference between a dildo and a vibrator. A vibrator, well, vibrates. A dildo just, um.. well, it doesn't do anything. You can get little teensy vibrators for external stimulation, but I recommend going for a good sized one so that your wife can take care of business when you're not around. And, remember, most women tend to agree it's *width* not length that matters. And on a related topic... I prefer Astroglide... it's clear and not sticky and won't stain the sheets.
But I'm not an expert.
See....it doesn't have to be phallic shaped at all, so there's no comparisons to be made.
Just strap a duracell to your ass and get busy!!So I'm planning on giving my old lady a vibrator as a surprise. Here's my quandary: I want to make sure that the particular model I get her a) is one that she'll really enjoy, but b) won't show me up.
Do girls sperm out a type of liquid during and orgasm like guys do? Just wondering.
^lmmfao!
Only if you're lucky bro.
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