So how many parents are letting their kids have sex at home?

[CuckingFunt]

I really can't imagine even wanting to have sex with my parent(s) in the house. Not at 16, and not now.

And neither of my parents would have allowed it. I sincerely doubt either of them would have been surprised to learn that things were happening, especially since my mom was regularly busy with night classes when I was in high school and didn't get home until around midnight most nights, but sex certainly was not condoned or encouraged in either of their houses.

[CuckingFunt]

I don't have a problem with weed (or other drugs if used right), but your kids know you do this, and will be less likely to follow your strict rules.

Plus, you're playing with fire, Joe.

Kinda depends on the kids, the parents, and the specific ways drugs are treated. My mom has been smoking weed since she was in high school in the 70s, briefly played with harder stuff in the 80s, and never hid any of it from me. At the same time, she never had a "do as I say, not as I do" at ude about it; she was totally up front about the fact that drugs could be fun/enjoyable and something I might want to experiment with responsibly when I got to be a certain age. When I got old enough that my friends were starting to experiment with drugs, I never did because there was nothing taboo about it for me. No rebellious thrill. At the same time, I trusted and respected my mom's rules (even those I occasionally broke) because I knew she wasn't trying to bull me with the idea that drugs/sex were evil or unpleasant. As I got older, especially, and closer to being on my own, my mom began to focus less on forbidding certain behaviors and more on emphasizing the fact that adult behaviors required adult decision making and adult levels of responsibility.

[TheMACHINE]

Son, here's a box of condoms.

Daughter, no dating till your 25. No sex till marriage.

[Tinystarz]

My first time was at a young age at a park. So it will happen no matter what parents do. I dread the day if and when I become a parent. My parents were very strict causing me to "rebel". If they were not so strict I may have had sex for the first time at a party like all decent teenagers.

[Nathan Explosion]

Son, here's a box of condoms.

Daughter, no dating till your 25. No sex till marriage.

I told my daughter no dating until she's 30. I got a good 27 years left.

In all reality, I'm not sure how I feel about it. I know it did it at home, but I'm not sure I want my kids doing it in my house. At the same time, I don't want my daughter (my baby girl, my princess) at some sleazy guy's house. Their mom doesn't want me talking to them about sex like I'm encouraging it (I was her first and she was 20 while my first was at 15), but I'm raising the kids so I decide what I'm doing. I'll probably educate as best as I can regardless of how "embarrassing" it is, trust my kids and hope for the best.

[ALVAREZ6]

You may not believe this, but there are actual kids/teens out there with discipline who can manage to keep it in their pants. Also, simply what they are feeling hormonally is not the only factor; there is a societal-wide mentality that virginity=lame.

You may believe this (because it's ing obvious), but the overwhelming majority of people do what they want to do regardless of what parents say. Also, the overwhelming majority of humans have strong desires to have sex. Not having sex, when you can do it responsibly, is ing re ed. His daughter isn't 11 for christ's sake.

[DeadlyDynasty]

Kinda depends on the kids, the parents, and the specific ways drugs are treated. My mom has been smoking weed since she was in high school in the 70s, briefly played with harder stuff in the 80s, and never hid any of it from me. At the same time, she never had a "do as I say, not as I do" at ude about it; she was totally up front about the fact that drugs could be fun/enjoyable and something I might want to experiment with responsibly when I got to be a certain age.

That is an extremely unique case, to be fair. Most parents (I'm assuming) aren't out in the open about their drug use and the pros/cons of drugs. Sounds like it was an interesting (and somewhat fun) upbringing that ultimately benefited you, but rare nonetheless.

My mom was/is a square but I know the old man smoked weed and even did speed (or bennies, or whatever they did) back in his day...he graduated from HS in the DC area in 1969, so use your imagination, lol. All that said, he never really talked about it. He caught me and some friends smoking weed when i was 16, but didn't say too much. In college I got into all the hard and lost a couple semesters, but ultimately found my way.

Back to the thread though, kids will find a way to have sex. Not much you can do about it unless you wanna be the Virgin Suicide parents...

[DeadlyDynasty]

Son, here's a box of condoms.

Daughter, no dating till your 25. No sex till marriage.

This is why I dread having a daughter some day...I'm sure I would be of the same thinking, no matter how irrational.

[ALVAREZ6]

I can't control what happens outside of my house, I can try to control what happens inside my own home; like all the other "rules" (i.e. alcohol, drugs, manners, chores, etc.), I expect them to respect me and my wishes when they are under my roof. So far I've educated, advised, and will continue to discourage underage/unprotected sex. I try to be confident that I have given them the information to make wise choices, but I probably just have to keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best. I just don't know what I can do to stop it, if they decide to go for it.

What's underage sex....what is the legal/morally correct age to have sex? One of those arbitrary things like... 17 & 10 months ... *frown* NO NO NO, you aren't of age, you cannot have sexPERIOD, nevermind all other factors.

What if your son/daughter was in a relationship with the same person anywhere from 6 months to over a year, 17 years old, you cool with them having sex, as long as it's protected???? Quite frankly, I don't see why any reasonable parent would...they're you're kids, you know for fact humans need and want sex, at least he/she is being responsible and practicing safe sex, in a better environment getting experience (with a long, trusted significant other) than just a few months down the road ing some random guy in college as a result of getting drunk and horny (the latter is always there, drunk + horny = lol controlling while kids in college).

I just don't get it, the age thing is so arbitrary...if my kid is a senior in high school, I'd simply care that he/she is being safe. As DeadlyDynasty said, all teens want to have sex. Unfortunately, not everyone gets laid. If your kid doesn't, it's probably not much of a choice. Do you older bags even remember your youth? Were you like 99% of us and also horny? Did you turn out to become some low-life drug selling murderer?

Yeah, there are those like Alvarez who think every kid wants to get drunk and laid all the damn time and have no morals and maybe, just maybe they have more respect for themselves. My oldest has flat out told me that she is in control of when and if she has sex and my rules can't stop her which I am totally aware of but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop voicing my concerns when she goes or with whom she goes out. I'm a dad damnit and I won't stop caring or worrying about her until I'm dead.

ok son

I don't think every kid wants to get drunk and laid all of the time, I think the vast majority of kids want to get drunk and laid. I don't think they want to drink all of the time, every night or every day, but they generally want to party every now and then, that is normal. As far as getting laid....yeah, from your experience being a human being, to you older ones out there, WTF is it of all of your life experiences that makes you believe teens don't want to have sex??? After considering my own experiences and talking with countless other people my age, I must conclude that being horny as is just ing normal. We are animals too ( no w'ere not, we're humans! we're better! God says we are! ), ing is in our DNA.



CROFL "who have no morals"

Yeah, I'm some crazy ass mother er who likes to not be sober every now and then (just like you Joe...same exact , I enjoy alcohol and marijuana) and also enjoys sex. What a ing lunatic I am.

[mrsmaalox]

What's underage sex....what is the legal/morally correct age to have sex? One of those arbitrary things like... 17 & 10 months ... *frown* NO NO NO, you aren't of age, you cannot have sexPERIOD, nevermind all other factors.

What if your son/daughter was in a relationship with the same person anywhere from 6 months to over a year, 17 years old, you cool with them having sex, as long as it's protected???? Quite frankly, I don't see why any reasonable parent would...they're you're kids, you know for fact humans need and want sex, at least he/she is being responsible and practicing safe sex, in a better environment getting experience (with a long, trusted significant other) than just a few months down the road ing some random guy in college as a result of getting drunk and horny (the latter is always there, drunk + horny = lol controlling while kids in college).

I just don't get it, the age thing is so arbitrary...if my kid is a senior in high school, I'd simply care that he/she is being safe. As DeadlyDynasty said, all teens want to have sex. Unfortunately, not everyone gets laid. If your kid doesn't, it's probably not much of a choice. Do you older bags even remember your youth? Were you like 99% of us and also horny? Did you turn out to become some low-life drug selling murderer?

Eh, calm down.

We ALL know there is not a right age for everyone. But that is not going to stop me from at least hoping that my kids have as much information and maturity as possible when they make that decision. I suppose I should have said "immature" instead of underage?

No one here has denied that all kids are horny and want to have sex. No one here has implied that we or God or anyone else can stop them. All any parent here has said is that when our kids do decide to go ahead with sex (or any adult behavior), they do so safely, responsibly and knowledgably. Probably not too different from what your parents want for you too.

[ALVAREZ6]

Eh, calm down.

We ALL know there is not a right age for everyone. But that is not going to stop me from at least hoping that my kids have as much information and maturity as possible when they make that decision. I suppose I should have said "immature" instead of underage?

No one here has denied that all kids are horny and want to have sex. No one here has implied that we or God or anyone else can stop them. All any parent here has said is that when our kids do decide to go ahead with sex (or any adult behavior), they do so safely, responsibly and knowledgably. Probably not too different from what your parents want for you too.

Wrong, Joe Chalupa scoffs at me being a realist in saying everyone wants to have sex. Wrong, a parent here has implied wanting to party every now and then and wanting to have sex is only sought after by those that do not have morals.
Wrong, said parent is not simply encouraging safe, responsible sex, quite the opposite, completely discouraging it period, no and ifs or buts about it, which actually is more likely to lead to sex in unsafe areas.

What you suggested as not far from different from what my parents wanted for me is something COMPLETELY different from what the OP does.


Maybe we're reading a different thread.

[Wild Cobra]

Saw the story on the news last night.
How many in here allow it or would allow it and think it is safer to have their kids shag away at home then to do it elsewhere?
I know some who do and there is no way I'd allow it.
What say you?

It's nearly the same argument as for teaching sex education and schools supplying condoms now, isn't it?

[ploto]

Fewer than half of all 9-12th grade students report having had sexual intercourse, reflecting a decline during the last decade from 53 percent in 1993 to 47 percent in 2003...

The percentage of high school students who have had sexual intercourse increases by grade. In 2003, 62 percent of 12th graders had had sexual intercourse, compared with 33 percent of 9th graders.

--Kaiser Foundation
http://www.kff.org/youthhivstds/uplo...Fact-Sheet.pdf

This means that about 1/3 of high school seniors have not had sex. There are still those who choose to wait-- whether for reasons of religion, fear of disease or pregnancy, or simply not thinking they are ready.

[SpursNextRomanEmpire]

Virgin Suicides

Great movie

[lil'mo]

saw this on craigslist jobs just now:

Do You Let Your Kids PARTY & Have SEX at Home?? Talk Show Now Casting!
http://lubbock.craigslist.org/tfr/2468113958.html

[Nathan Explosion]

This means that about 1/3 of high school seniors have not had sex. There are still those who choose to wait-- whether for reasons of religion, fear of disease or pregnancy, or simply not thinking they are ready.

Or lack of opportunity. As for teens being horny, I went down on a girl on a class field trip my senior year. I was also an A and high B student who could have graduated in 3 years if I chose to (but why?). Basically while I was a horny teen, I was also a good kid.

So yeah, teens will find a way to do things no matter what.

[v2freak]

What's underage sex....what is the legal/morally correct age to have sex? One of those arbitrary things like... 17 & 10 months ... *frown* NO NO NO, you aren't of age, you cannot have sexPERIOD, nevermind all other factors.

What if your son/daughter was in a relationship with the same person anywhere from 6 months to over a year, 17 years old, you cool with them having sex, as long as it's protected???? Quite frankly, I don't see why any reasonable parent would...they're you're kids, you know for fact humans need and want sex, at least he/she is being responsible and practicing safe sex, in a better environment getting experience (with a long, trusted significant other) than just a few months down the road ing some random guy in college as a result of getting drunk and horny (the latter is always there, drunk + horny = lol controlling while kids in college).

I just don't get it, the age thing is so arbitrary...if my kid is a senior in high school, I'd simply care that he/she is being safe. As DeadlyDynasty said, all teens want to have sex. Unfortunately, not everyone gets laid. If your kid doesn't, it's probably not much of a choice. Do you older bags even remember your youth? Were you like 99% of us and also horny? Did you turn out to become some low-life drug selling murderer?


ok son

I don't think every kid wants to get drunk and laid all of the time, I think the vast majority of kids want to get drunk and laid. I don't think they want to drink all of the time, every night or every day, but they generally want to party every now and then, that is normal. As far as getting laid....yeah, from your experience being a human being, to you older ones out there, WTF is it of all of your life experiences that makes you believe teens don't want to have sex??? After considering my own experiences and talking with countless other people my age, I must conclude that being horny as is just ing normal. We are animals too ( no w'ere not, we're humans! we're better! God says we are! ), ing is in our DNA.



CROFL "who have no morals"

Yeah, I'm some crazy ass mother er who likes to not be sober every now and then (just like you Joe...same exact , I enjoy alcohol and marijuana) and also enjoys sex. What a ing lunatic I am.

I think this is a topic for another day. Perhaps you and I can discuss the appeal to nature fallacy and other arguments later. I was merely noting that yes, while the majority of teenagers are stereotypically driven by their genitals, there does exist a proportion of teens who can control themselves for the reasons ploto listed, or because a.) they respect their parents' wishes b.) they believe waiting increases the value of their relationships c.) they want to test the strength of their willpower. I want to remind you and others that they're out there.

As for your comment on age limits and such, I tend to agree that there is no discernible difference between 17 years and 11 months vs 18 years old. However, I can't think of a better alternative. I would hope you wouldn't actually advocate a law saying that it is legal to drink whenever people feel they are responsible enough to do so.

[frodo]

My parents "let" me. By that, I mean, they knew it happened and never protested. Then again, but by the time I started, I was 17 and had just gotten finished spending an entire year in Germany as an exchange student. I didn't really have any rules at that point.

That being said, NO WAY IN will my daughter have that priviledge.

gotten finished

btw will u allow your daughter to have sex with your son or even yourself? most parents will imho

[benefactor]

Not in my house.

I will encourage my daughter to wait. Teenage sex simply has more negative outcomes than positive.

[MaNuMaNiAc]

@ equating having sex as a teenager with lack of morals... GTFO Joe

I'm not in the "no sex until you're married" camp. I'm not in the "here's a room, to your hearts content" camp either. I think a healthy middle ground should be found. Sex education is the key. Forget teaching abstinence. Its a completely unrealistic approach.

I think its important to teach your kid that sex can be a safe, enjoyable experience if gone about it correctly and responsibly. Safety first, no matter what.

Face it Joe, you can't control every living second of your daughter's life, so teaching her how to manage it correctly, seems to me, like the best way to protect her. Just saying

[Drachen]

I think that one thing that Alvarez, et al aren't taking into account is that a parent's job is to love their kids and prepare them for adult life. Every single kid is going to make mistakes, REEEEEEEEEAL stupid mistakes, and a parent needs to be there to guide them through those mistakes and help them see the lesson. Despite what I said earlier, I will basically just keep lines of communication open with my daughter. I will likely discourage teenage sex, not with stories of morality, or "the gift" that they need to save for "the one" or any of that, but with stories of the trouble it causes specifically with teens (likely asking my wife to help with this one). Hopefully, I have instilled good rational thought and problem solving skills into my daughter which will allow her to avoid, at the very least, situations that causes so many teens trouble with sex. Despite all of this, there will be an emotional/irrational component to this approach and my last bastion of this will be "please respect my house".

With all of this being said, once again, teenagers will make mistakes, but a parents job dictates preperation for adulthood. It is obvious that once they are out of the house, kids will go out and experience a lot of things that they did not at home. There might even be a lot of fallout from this experience, but once that phase is over, you have to hope that they will return to what was taught. I know that from the ages of about 19-25 there was a LOT of experience and a LOT of fallout. I started to realize, dang, my parents were right about EVERYTHING. I couldn't get that realization without the experience, I know, and I fully expect my kids to have to have their own experiences, but going forward a lot of the values which I was brought up with dictate my life. I guess what I am saying is parenting is a long-term investment, not just an investment with payoff between the ages of 18-22.

I am rambling, I know, if anyone needs clarification on anything let me know. Lastly, I didn't know where to put this in, but Alvarez's approach consistently left me with the thought that we need to, as a society, teach delayed gratification.

[JoeChalupa]

I don't have a problem with weed (or other drugs if used right), but your kids know you do this, and will be less likely to follow your strict rules.

Plus, you're playing with fire, Joe.

I've never smoked when my kids are in the house but yes, I have not lied to them either when asked if I've ever done drugs. I've also told them I've had sex too and was wild in my younger days. When parenting you play with fire quite a bit and yes, you'll get burned from time to time. It happens.

[JoeChalupa]

I talked to my daughter about this last night and she said, "Dad, I'm not stupid and I've plans for my future and getting pregnant is not one of them and I just haven't met the right guy either. But I am the one in control of when I do decide and thank you for caring." That is all I can ask for and I can live with that. You all made some good points but in the end you have to parent the way you feel is right for you and live with the consequences and so far I cannot complain for I know my kids and I will will butt heads many, many more times. This past Father's Day was the best ever and it makes it all worth it.

[DeadlyDynasty]

I've never smoked when my kids are in the house but yes, I have not lied to them either when asked if I've ever done drugs. I've also told them I've had sex too and was wild in my younger days. When parenting you play with fire quite a bit and yes, you'll get burned from time to time. It happens.

You don't have to smoke when your kids are in the house, they still know you do it. If one (or both) of them are in their teens then they probably know where your stash is too. It's your health your playing with fire in, as well as your parenting.

Marijuana leads to short-term memory loss and the munchies...ergo, forgetting to take beetus meds + indiscriminate eating = high blood sugar, diabetic ketoacidosis, and in some cases even coma.

You need to set a better example if you're to expect your kids to be obedient minions.

[v2freak]

I'm not even a parent; in fact I don't know how old Alvarez is but I'm probably in his age range. I'm a bit surprised at how liberal some of the parents are, to tell the truth.