Caddyshack
"This is good stuff. I got it from a Negro. You're probably so high already you don't even know it."
Caddyshack
"License to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit - ever. They're like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong. "
Caddyshack
"So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice. "
Caddyshack
"This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff. "
Caddyshack
"I smell varmint poontang. And the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang, I think."
"No runs on one hit - that's all we got is one goddamn hit?!"
"You can't say goddamn on the air."
"Ah, don't worry. Nobody's listening anyway."
Pedro Cerrano: Bats, they are sick. I cannot hit curveball. Straightball I hit it very much. Curveball, bats are afraid. I ask Jobu to come, take fear from bats. I offer him cigar, rum. He will come.
Eddie Harris: You know you might think about taking Jesus Christ as your savior instead of fooling around with all this stuff.
Jake Taylor: , Harris!
Pedro Cerrano: Jesus, I like him very much, but he no help with curveball.
Eddie Harris: You trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?
I ing love "Major League."
"You may run like Mayes but you hit like ."
The funniest part of this is I met an old Indians manager tonight.
don't forget......."(Are you crying?) There's no crying in baseball"
You know why I started hating that quote? Broadcasters use it all the ing time.
Anything, pre-talkies...
"Isn't that just like a wop, brings a knife to a gunfight?"
Go ahead. Make my day.
"You still don't get it, do you? He'll find her. It's what he does. It's all he does! You can't stop him. He'll wade right through you, reach down her throat and pull out her ing heart!"
you JoBu, I do it myself.
One point twenty-one gigawatts!!
"You have helped me reach the next level. And here I was starting to think you were just a sadistic psycho ."
"Yes, a tiny net is a death sentence, it's a net and it's tiny!"
Rocco: we could kill them all
Brother: im strangely comfortable with that
"Where do you get off having s?!?!?!?"
Ya'll a bunch of slack-jawed gots ! This stuff will make you a gotdamn sexual tyrannosaurus.
yeah? Well strap this on your sore ass ........
Hey, I don't wanna sound like a or nothin', but I think unicorns are kick ass!
who wants a mustache ride ?!?!
and that was the second time I got crabs .....
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