Reply With Quote
And If my eye
got poked out in this life.
Would it end up
in heaven with my wife?
-Crash Test Dummies
They gots all the pertinent questions.
Made God shuffle his feet thinking about it.
"The Babel fish, is small, yellow and leech-like, and probably the oddest thing in the Universe. It feeds on brainwave energy received not from its own carrier but from those around it. It absorbs all unconscious mental frequencies from this brainwave energy to nourish itself with. It then excretes into the mind of its carrier a telepathic matrix formed by combining the conscious thought frequencies with nerve signals picked up from the speech centres of the brain which has supplied them. The practical upshot of all this is that if you stick a Babel fish in your ear you can instantly understand anything in any form of language. The speech patterns you actually hear decode the brainwave matrix which has been fed into your mind by your Babel fish.
"Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mindbogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as the final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God.
"The argument goes something like this: 'I refuse to prove that I exist,' says God, 'for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.'
"'But,' says Man, 'the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED.'
"'Oh dear,' says God, 'I hadn't thought of that,' and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.
"'Oh, that was easy,' says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing.
"Most leading theologians claim that this argument is a load of dingo's kidneys, but that didn't stop Oolon Colluphid making a small fortune when he used it as the central theme of his bestselling book, Well That about Wraps It Up for God.
And If my eye
got poked out in this life.
Would it end up
in heaven with my wife?
-Crash Test Dummies
They gots all the pertinent questions.
Made God shuffle his feet thinking about it.
Are we human or are we dancer?
i would ask that got why he allows babies to be born with ed up diseases that ruin their lives and emotionally cripple their families
He's just testing them bro it's all good because they'll be rewarded in heaven!
Why are you so insecure that you had to create us to worship you?
Why are there so many dumb people believing you exist/there is a "god"...?
Last edited by Jodelo; 03-30-2014 at 02:59 PM.
What does God need with a starship?
Why do i shake after i pee?
"God... if you are benevolent, why do your worshipers have such ty lives? I am a life long atheist and I know for a fact that my life has been much more fruitful and rewarding than someone like Cedric who only got a job after his father pulled some strings, and who spends his youth on the internet pretending to be someone else. Why would you allow your faithful to be lured in by a transtesticle and to spend the remainder of his Katrina money via Paypal to a guy on said forum, just for pointing out to the God follower that the meat he was chasing was an outtie?"
Not bad....just remember you believe what I want you to believethat won't ever change.....poor, black, rich, gay, Cedric, Kevin, stud, white pussy....you name it
Why didn't this win an Oscar?
Why didn't you lure General Zod away from Metropolis instead of getting into a fist fight downtown?
I said recently but I'll say it again: that scene blew
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Permissions
