I had this female friend on facebook for a few weeks. One day I notice she's posted some pics of her front yard arbitrarily while photographing her dog doing things. I was able to see that the shadow of the dog's penis pointed due north, which meant the sun was in the apex of it's solstice and based on the angle of the dangle I could factor in relative humidity to be on par with a sector above the San Andreas tectonic plate. By comparing the way the saliva dripped from the dogs mouth to the way the faux flowers in the background were bent, I could discern the wind was about 4 knots from the S x SW and that the temperature was in the mid 70's F. There's only one place like this but to narrow down the street took more than the average savant could muster. Luckily i could see her house number and street address on the curb and her user name "Shady Acres Ho" was also a good clue. Turns out through triangulation of several Iridium satellites and discounting van Allen radioactive interference in the Ka band, she was in a retirement center and is looney as a ing fruit cake. Still, once I told her I knew where she lived her grandson contacted me and threatened to kill me with his bare hands, something about "drowning in your own piss". I figured I'd made my point. I hope she's safe.
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