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Don't you just love it when single adults with no children have such strong opinions on our parenting skills?
That was by far the funniest thing I have ever read on this forum. Kori nice encore as well.
I think it should be ok for kids to get old fashion spankings - not beatings, but just legitimate spankings. I really don't like how that spankings became code for child abuse. In the store is a different story, that's just embarrassing all the way around.
I think kids need some threat of a fearful punishment to keep them in line. I was never fearful of timeouts, but if I heard the word licks, that was all I needed to hear.
Don't you just love it when single adults with no children have such strong opinions on our parenting skills?
No . It's easy to sit back and watch it going on and comment on the wacked out parenting skills. It's a whole different situation after you've spawned a few of 'em and they collectively pick a moment to act up in public.
When I have some, I'm going to shackle them and keep them downstairs where they can shovel coal into a furnace for fun.
I've been tempted at times...
Although, I'm betting it's pretty easy to not tell your kid that his/her mother is a and to keep their problems to themselves. That's just me I bet.
I prefer to just not take them. But if I want to have groceries in the house, sometimes I have no choice. And it's not because they are bad, unruly kids ... but sometimes they have crappy days, too...and I think having all of that cool *stuff* around them is just too overwhelming and they haven't quite got that self-control thing down very well yet.
If childless people aren't criticising parents having to resort to some kind of discipline in public, they are critcising how badly the kids are behaving and the parent's apathy about it. Toddlers can get nasty and throw the worst temper tantrums imaginable, but pre-adolescents have the distinct ability to push even the most calm person right over the edge. In my experience, kids that never act up from time to time are the exception, not the rule. And I don't think it's all necessarily the parent's lack of discipline, but the kids individual personality...my daughter is the epitome of "Type A". Even when she was little and I even said the words "time out", she'd just laugh at me.Don't you just love it when single adults with no children have such strong opinions on our parenting skills?
Someone I know says *they* never acted up in public either....maybe it's an only child thing?
I have been known to scream "Touch that and die!" at my kid(s) from all the way down the aisle in the grocery store.
I don't need to be a parent to know that when a kid is in Walmart and yells at his mother "you need to buy me some candy!" that the kid is rude..or (in the same store on the same day) a kid was running through the boys clothes section and taking clothes off the racks and throwing them to the floor...while mom just giggled and thought it was soooo cute. Then again...the parents are just as to blame because they allow and give into the behavior.Don't you just love it when single adults with no children have such strong opinions on our parenting skills?
no .
I do agree with Cosmic to a point. A child might be crying because they are not feeling well and the parent may have had no choice to bring them out into public. I also don't agree with when people say something to a parent for punishing their child. I do think that there are somethings that kids do that even non-parents know is bad. And while I rarely agree with Duff...he is right...Adults can be even worse.
I'll agree it is very difficult for people who don't have kids to know how hard it is to control kids in an environment like a store, in public, where the kids know they can get away with more because there is an audience, and there is way more temptation around them. I don't have kids, but I've taken young children to the store before and it's (worse when they think you are a teen mother).
But it's still pretty obvious when there are problems with parenting: parents ignoring their kids beating the crap out of each other, parents laughing at expressly wrong behavior (opening boxes of food, throwing products on the ground, demanding toys or candy), parents screaming (not warning them - red in the face, spit flying, cursing and threatening) at their kids.
But adults throwing temper tantrums are the worst. . .
I don't see that nearly as much as I see parents looking like they are about to pop a blood vessel from trying to control their rage...but are too worried about all the righteous busy-bodies calling CPS on them.
I told my daughter if she wanted to call CPS on me she'd better be ready for the -storm...because if I'm going to jail, it's going to be for a very good reason....and there will definitely be enough evidence to convict me.
Fair enough. Sorry, I wasn't meaning to single you out.Although, I'm betting it's pretty easy to not tell your kid that his/her mother is a and to keep their problems to themselves. That's just me I bet.
I agree with you about the "busy-bodies"....hey, you gave birth you that child...you have the God-given right to pop that child on the butt!
Oh, as for the original question: The worst thing I ever saw was a girl from the class above me when I was in high school. She had her baby when I was in eigth grade, so she was 14? Anyway, I saw her when I was 16, so she was 17 and her daughter was 3-ish. It was Christmas time and we were all shopping. I saw her with her daughter in the cart, and they were with her father (the grandfather of the 3 year old). The 3 year old started whining for some toy or other, which the mother then gave her. The grandfather took it away, saying that she could not have it, she had not behaved herself and didn't get a treat. The child started crying, but the mother was the worst. She threw a screaming, crying temper tantrum because her father wouldn't buy her daughter the toy. By the end, even the child was staring in wonder. It was the biggest trainwreck I've ever seen (so uncomfortable to witness, but couldn't stop watching).
Me, neither ... that would definitely have turned my head, too. .
But I can't be that judgemental...I'm sure some terrible things have slipped out over the last 10 years or so that I regret saying. I just have to take comfort in the fact that there were an infinite number of terrible things I could have said but managed to refrain. Times I could have (and wanted to) just beat the living out of them, but didn't. I guess I'm a lost cause and have pretty much given up on the fact that I'll never be as perfect a human being as so many others apparently (or un-parently ? ) are.
My son likes to eat as we shop so it's all good. He's usually satisfied to sit in the seat on the shopping cart as long as he's allowed to sample the merchandise. It's pretty funny at the checkout, though, as I hand the cashier open boxes of cereal, open milk containers, open bags of pretzels, open bags of cheese, etc., the list goes on. The first time he tried Frosted Flakes I had to literally pry the box from his white-nuckled kung-fu grip so the cashier could scan the box!
I'm not opposed to parents getting after their kids in a store. Discipline is a good thing. What I don't like is when I see a parent slap a child upside the head for acting up when the little one is no more than three or four years old. My guess is that stuff like that does more harm than good. There's a right and a wrong way to discipline.
I don't beat, spank or scream. I just give'em a look, nod my head and say "okay." ... It seems to stir a fear of the unknown inside them.
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We never physically punished the kids and they both turned out fine...
Most of the posts in here refer to the little ones. Just wait till they are teenagers...
My wife and I had diametrically opposite ways of dealing with the kids and this may have helped...I was always the cool/calm/collected one and gave detailed explanations of what was acceptable, what wasn't acceptable, and tried to be rational and logical with them...kids are smarter than you give them credit for and I considered "why" to be a reasonable question in a non life threatening situation and never considered "because I said so" to be an acceptable answer...
Their mother on the other hand was the screamer...and once she turns the switch on she throws away the key...
I definitely relate to the dad that told the kid to deal with it and not to piss off the mother.
I would do that all the time...It would be...uhhh...you know your mother told you to clean your room today before she left, right?...uuuh yeah...And you know she told me to make sure you did it, right?...uhhh yeah...and you know she's gonna be home in an hour, right?...uhhh yeah...and you know what's gonna happen to both of us if your room isn't clean, right?...uhhh yeah...so what are you gonna do?...uhhhh clean my room?...Thanks...neither one of us needs the grief...(kid cleans room)
The closest I ever got to getting physical with my son was when he was probably 17...I came home from work one day and He and my wife were nose to nose screaming at each other...I walked through the door just as he called her a "mean "...(She can be but damned if I was gonna let HIM say it..LOL)...I walked up to him and picked him up by the shirt collar with one hand and slammed him against the wall and held him there...got nose to nose with him and said very quietly "don't EVER call her anything like that again"...I held him there for about 15 seconds staring at him...I thought he was gonna pee his pants...LOL...then I dropped him and said "Y'all both quit screaming and work this out"...As far as I know he never raised his voice to his mother again.
The son basically tried that once...I checked in on him and watched him play video games for about 15 minutes, then unplugged the Nintendo right in the middle of the game, boxed it up, and took it to my office for about six weeks...The difference between your kids and my stepkids are when I say "so what are you gonna do?"
They say "were gonna watch you clean the room so mom doesn't get all mad at you have fun."
The son basically tried that once...I checked in on him and watched him play video games for about 15 minutes, then unplugged the Nintendo right in the middle of the game, boxed it up, and took it to my office for about six weeks...
That's smart.
I love watching Chris in action ... he has no problem whatsoever doing things like this.The son basically tried that once...I checked in on him and watched him play video games for about 15 minutes, then unplugged the Nintendo right in the middle of the game, boxed it up, and took it to my office for about six weeks...
It's definitely not an only child thing. My daughter has certainly had her share of acting up in public too.
If I ever did something like that, My father would have cold ed me where I stood.
I won't stand for that from my son either (now I have no idea how I'll handle my daughter).
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