I couldn't imagine marrying anyone without living with them first so if you're at all serious about the relationship then you kinda have to go there.
I always wondered about this. What if one side brings all the money, or their own home, and the other side only has a car and a bit of cash? Say the financial split when you decide to move in is 90-10%, do you just have to trust that it will all work out?
Other then a pre-nup, which is a terrible way to start off given that it is a seed of distrust, what is the deal?
I can't really say I've moved in with my SO since I've kept my apartment and stay there on the days I have my kids, but almost all my clothes are here...my makeup, shampoo, etc. I have duplicates of a lot of things so that I don't have to 'move out' everytime I go back to my apartment (2 curling irons, 2 blow dryers, 2 sets of makeup, etc). We dated about 6 months before I started staying here on a semi-permanent basis and we've now been dating a little over a year.
It's definitely been a great experience, though.
As long as both people are contributing what they can, why should it matter? It's not like the 90% person is under the illusion that the 10% person has more than they do. If the $$ is a point of contention, then you shoudn't be cohabiting in the first place. Unless the 10% person is lazy, stupid slob ... I'd imaging the ratio will start evening out somewhat in the future.
I moved in with my future wife after 3 months of dating. Been together ever since which is now 13 years.
You can't possibly known what a person is really like until you've lived with them. But I am against ALL pre-marital sex.
This is the situation with us. He owns a house and makes a lot more money than I do. I've commented more than once to him that I feel bad because I can't contribute more (financially) to the relationship, but it's not been a major sticking point in our relationship. I guess as long as I keep doing all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, yardwork and clean the gutters twice a year, he figures he's getting his money's worth.
I was looking for a smiley so I could do a "attention [jnsert smiley here]" but it doesn't have one.
It's the thought that counts I suppose.
What is the SO going to think about you whoring around on teh web? Might want to be honest upfront.
Good point though. I'd be pissed if my SO was a web-based .
I'm not touching this thread with a ten foot pole.
You and Spurfect can move in with me anytime.
If you want the wrath of Jesus thrown upon you, then go right ahead.
That bad, huh?
I'll have my things out by the the weekend.
Manny is correct. My wife and I (just married last month) had been dating what would have been 8 years this October.
Lived together for 4-5 years. Its a definate upgrade.
But a little advice, you two had better lay down what you are and what you are not up front. If youre a homebody, say so. You like to go out, say so. Messy? Clean? Sleep in? Love chores? Friends over all the time? Family over alot?
Do you spend time alone reading/video games? Seriously, think about it, then talk about it. At least you could always say "I told you when we moved in together...."
Well, don't know if it's entirely applicable. We began living together about 4/5 months before we got married. It was more situational than anything, because he was moving back to Houston, and it seemed pretty foolish to get a month-to-month lease and spend extra money we could be saving. . . He'd lived with me part-time before that, though, spending nearly every weekend and a couple weeknights each week at my place.
It was terrific. Now obviously, we were already planning to be together, but I loved it. In many ways it was hard, because I liked having my space and I like being alone (which is still true), so there was still an adjustment period. And it was hard for him to move in and feel like it was his space too (I'd been living there for 4 years). But we adjusted and I found ways to still get private time for myself and he carved otu his niche and I sort of wish we'd done it before.
If there are singly-owned assets or moves for joint assets, I think it's only prudent to discuss how that will work, both in terms of monthly payment and what will happen if there is a split. It's not romantic, at all, but a big part of living together isn't romantic. It's mundane and sometimes drudgery, but bills have to be paid and so financial honesty is important. Dividing up the household chores is important. Not glamorous, but necessary. And my personal belief is that if you sit down and have a long uncomfortable and dispassionate conversation about these kind of topics, then the transition to daily living will be a lot smoother and more enjoyable, because you've already dealt with the mundane and laid out your mutual expectations and decided on compromises before you're fed up with the toilet seat being left up or the dishes being left in the sink overnight.
But, on the whole, he's my favorite person in the world and I enjoy doing mundane things with him. I'd rather be with him than not.
Just depends on the dynamic of a particular relationship.
My ex-girlfriend and I lived together for almost all of the six years we were together and... every day was amazing, until all of a sudden it wasn't. However, I've been in my current relationship for almost two years and I know for a fact that we're not at that point yet.
My biggest piece of advice would be not to take that step unless you're both 100% comfortable in voicing the things that bother/upset you. A big part of the reason my ex-girlfriend and I broke up is because there were a whole bunch of little things that bugged her and she held it all in until it built into something she felt she had to leave -- I was completely blindsided, but it all could have been avoided had she spoken up sooner.
pm5k should change to pms
1. Congrats!
2. You were probably only hours/days away from being taken out by her and/or her posse if you didn't finally tie the knot.
This is the situation with us. He owns a house and makes a lot more money than I do. I've commented more than once to him that I feel bad because I can't contribute more (financially) to the relationship, but it's not been a major sticking point in our relationship. I guess as long as I keep doing all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, yardwork and clean the gutters twice a year, he figures he's getting his money's worth.
under common law its 50/50 in a marriage, but for some cir stances when the house is under one persons its still 50/50. But there are loopholes to thisas long one partner can show that they contribute financially to the household like only person paying off the home loan then he/she gets a better share or the whole house.
defacto relationship man ftw
My wife and i moved in together after about 2 months of dating. Mostly because i had just moved back to SA from austin and was staying at my moms while trying to find a reliable friend to move in with...Her sister was moving out so she was going to need a roomate as well...so it just sorta fit at the right time.
Most people advised against moving in together so early, but it was helpfull i guess, sort of got us used to each other...We three manned an apartment for a while with one of my good friends, so it was a decent mix to not make it seem TOO much like a marriage too early...but we developed into one, and it was nice.
We got married about 1.5 years later. And are now have been together for about 4 years.
the only real positive is that you more often
How little you know.
Thanks for all the (serious) input!
Is that what you tell your S.O.?Thanks for all the (serious) input!
I'd say we're on the same page about the direction we want to go in, we've talked a lot about it and we'd like to get married in a couple of years.. seems like the next thing to do would be to live with each other a while first.
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