Reply With Quote
Calm down sweetheart I was only trying to illustrate a point.
We had a long debate about this on my private board of friends.
The conclusions we reached are that:
-13 year olds do not need a MySpace (or any social networking) page.
-Megan's parents thought they did everything right in monitoring her computer time and where she was spending her time on line and with who, but in hindsight there may be more that could have been done. That is not to try and blame the parents, just point out that before this, none of us had ever considered some of these issues and would because of this incident, do even more in terms of monitoring our children online.
-Several of us have had people close to us in our lives that have suffered from depression and attempted suicide - and as much as we would like to blame other people (including ourselves), ultimately suicide is a choice the person makes for themselvs. Lori Drew may have precipitated the decline and enhanced the depression, but she was only marginally responsible for Megan's suicide.
-Lori Drew is a predator, and her behavior was predatory. It may not have been sexual, but she deliberately set out to stalk and harass a 13 year old girl because she was no longer friends with her daughter. Inexcusable.
-While Lori Drew cannot be directly blamed for Megan's suicide, the fact that an adult would behave in this way was horrifying to several of us. As if 13 isn't hard enough for young girls with depression and self esteem issues (several of us talked about middle school as among the worst years of our lives - I was one who remembered the horror of finding out that my 'boyfriend' was only 'dating' me on a very public dare and had to deal with that humiliation), this woman had no business making it worse for someone she knew to already be suffering from depression.
-The fact that Megan had such severe depression means it is fully possible that a similar instance might have occured with classmates or rejection in the future. This does not mean that Lori Drew bears no responsibility.
-The quote above, that Lori Drew felt sort of guilty until she heard at the funeral that Megan had attempted suicide before? Makes me want to beat her face in with a shovel. That doesn't excuse her horrendous behavior; it actually makes it more horrifying. Dumb .
Calm down sweetheart I was only trying to illustrate a point.
There is no doubt that Lori Drew is a predator. She coerced a thirteen year old girl to perform an irrational act by pretending to be someone she wasn't. Then she tried to cover it up.
If suicide is considered murdering yourself then this woman assisted in the murder and should be held accountable.
I can definitely see how the laws should be changed to prosecute this sort of predator.
harsh!!!
I don't totally think the laws themselves should be changed. We simply need to get away from this Black & White by the law definative way we all live. People actually have to stop and look at each situation instead of consulting "the book" and reciting some bull line that jives with the law. I'm pretty ing sick and tired of people feeling the need to have absolutes to function. Its crippling.
ex post facto bull . you can committ any heinous act you want as long as there isnt a law against it yet
That makes sense to me. Unfortunately we live in a world where too many people try to use any possible loophole available to be held blameless. I don't know how the justice system will ever change here...as screwed up as it is.
This again reverts me back to thinking old school and a guilt-free reckoning for Mrs. Drew.
The solution to the problem is that we need about 6 or 7 of us here working around the clock solving all the worlds problems. Clearly the people we appoint to run and govern are world simply live within the predetermined box we've created and refuse to invest the time needed to properly judge and execute the real daily issues we're all faced with, that would actually take time and thought vs. simply using the web for all our answers.
I don't know how they do to live near that woman.
It must be so hard to deal with their loss when they see her like everyday
It was seventh grade. So first, no one really dated. People 'went out' with each other, which mostly consisted of eating lunch together, holding hands in between classes, going to dances with each other, talking on the phone, and so on.
When my 'boyfriend' of 3 months broke up with me, in front of the cafeteria, I found out what nearly everyone else knew - that he only asked me 'out' on a dare.
It was pretty humiliating at the time.
As my friends and I were discussing Megan's case, several of us had similar incidents in middle school. And many of us who suffer from depression trace it back to really surfacing around that time of life, and remember how horrible those events were and how awful it felt and how it seemed like it would never be ok again and never be better. We weren't surprised that Megan, who had a history of depression and a previous suicide attempt, wanted to kill herself.
Because we remember those experiences, we felt even worse about the fact that a grown woman was behind this hoax. Kids are cruel enough on their own. An adult DOES know better. She hid behind the internet as if that made her stalking and harrassment somehow justifiable, and it cannot be exucsed ever.
My friends and I were talking about how hard it was to protect your kids when it's just other kids, but how are you supposed to protect them when it's adults that are bullying them as well?
And it makes me hope really hard that I have good communication with my kids, so that if they end up like me or Megan, that they choose to talk to me rather than choosing suicide. I hope I can let them know I lived through everything, no matter how awful it seemed at the time.
I'd burn their house down.
Promise.
While I agree that 13yo kids do not need a Myspace page, good ing luck trying to enforce that. I work in a public library right by a middle school, and at 330 every ing school afternoon, here come the kids to sign in for a public internet accessible computer. We have no control over what they look at or do aside from kicking them out if we catch them looking at porn (although we do that enough with adults, too - this job is making me pretty damn jaded) - we cannot monitor what all of them are doing, and we can't block Myspace because older members of the public want to use it, too.
Now, parents can minimize the risk of their kids getting a Myspace account if they A) Block it on their home computers and know more about their PCs than their kids to ensure that it's staying blocked B) Ensure that all of their friends' parents do the same C) Check to see if the schools are actually doing a decent job of blocking it, and D) Picking your kids up after school so they don't loaf around the library requiring babysitting by library employees (not that I resent my place of work becoming a day care center for kids that don't even ing pick up a book when they're there, no no - and yes, I realize that not everyone can pick up their kids right after school, so no lectures on that necessary).
I know that the above list is pretty much impossible to abide by strictly, but it's worth it to do everything you can because of cases like this one, and all of the ones that don't result in fatalities or the odd kidnapping, but do result in sexual assaults that kids or their parents try to cover up, or cyber-bullying that causes self-esteem issues and aggression.
I live only one way.......
Anyone that messes with my kids will die. Sorry.
I don't know any other way. That's why I tell my kids to be careful who they are hanging out with. I make sure they understand that they will not have a mother around for a very long time if they're "friends" or some other head messes with them. I'm pretty sure they know me well enough to know that I am in no way shape or form just kidding around or trying to be a badass. I'm 100 percent serious.
That is my biggest fear in life. Aside from losing one of my kids, my fear is how I lose them. Illness would be horrible. But I'm extremely afraid of what I will become if I feel they were taken from me senselessly by the fault of someone else. It's an ugly feeling.
so was I. My point was, I don't take too well at being called a dumbass for no apparent ing reason. So don't insult me, and I'll calm down, ok jackass?
I wonder why, when she moved, she no longer wanted to be friends? It always sucks when you drift apart like that
Just an FYI
In 2006, the House passed the Deleting Online Predators Act which would require that schools and libraries that receive their discounted online access be required to block all sites such as myspace from minors. The Bill passed the House but was never voted on by the Senate. It was then introduced into the Senate in 2007 as part of the Protecting Children in the 2st Century Act. It was referred to committee and reworked and reintroduced, but I do not think a vote has been taken on it yet.
I'd like to add from speaking to other parents about this, that most don't take the internet danger seriously enough. In many adults mind it's just not real - unfortunately it's very real for the kids.
I am regularly the only parent at school meeting busting their chops about making children's info public on the school website - I rarely get any support from the other parents or teachers. When I discussed it further with some teachers it turns out they don't really understand what you can do with this kind of info. I've been succesful so far, but I'm angry that I even have to argue these things.
On a more personal note I'd like to thank you for not including Sequ in that rule of yours - I'd be dead by now if you did
Lets go burn her house down?
Ah screw it, shes probably got good insurance. The evil hag.
The insult wasn't meant to specifically address you. It was a line used to make a point, you were just part of the example. I wasn't hurling insults at you directly, you were simply a by-product of my point because the conversation was initially with you. So again make no mistake about it, I was demonstrating something using you as an example. So you can stop being insulted and stop calling me names, ok.
Before this school year started, the principal at my son's school talked to the parents about myspace. He said that he of course can not prevent the students from having personal pages on there, but he told parents to monitor what their kids are doing there and that the school requires that no pictures be posted of the students at the school or in their school uniforms... I was amazed at the number of parents who had never even heard of myspace- and this is a private high school!! I also tried to talk to people about it at the middle school before and parents did not get it. Their kids taked about where they go to school and what activities they are in- online- and this just gives predators info about where to find them.
That's just sad. Adolescents should be taught to be not that sensitive to the Internet.
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Permissions
