old flame

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

And I still stand by that comment today

[CuckingFunt]

Did someone ask "what's fat girl voice"? It's someone struggling to speak because the cellulite in their cheeks is pressing against the sides of their mouth resulting in a slightly garbled delivery...kind of like someone drowning in a pool...of their own fat.

This is one of the first things I've read here that has actually made me feel guilty for laughing as hard as I did.

[Jimcs50]

Chopper, I am glad that I made this thread, if only so you could regale us with this little story.

[Mrs.Jimcs50]

I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who This morning called 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was still around.

We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used to enjoy together.

I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that "old magic".

"Wow!" I was flabbergasted. "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now", I said, "I'm a bit older and a bit grayer than when you last saw me. Plus I don't really have the energy I used to have."

She just giggled and said she was sure I would "rise to the challenge".

"Yeah." I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a waistline that's a few inches wider these days! Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone...everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed and I am developing jowls like a Great Dane!"

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me saying that tubby, gray haired, older men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover.

Anyway, she giggled and said, "I've put on a few pounds myself!"

So I told her to off.

Honey, whether it's the 7000th time or the first time I've heard that, it's always Comedic Platinum.

[Mrs.Jimcs50]

[Mrs.Jimcs50]

Well, ooooo Chopper!


You, too, CC.

[Jimcs50]

She was always a high-strung, potty-mouthed hottie freak, but now she sounds as if she's slid all the way into crack- status.

I tried to be as polite as I could but realized there may be no getting rid of this woman if I don't do something to finalize the situation...so I asked her for her email address.

The next day I emailed her a picture of Mrs. Chopper with Chopper Jr.

She emailed me back and said I had a beautiful wife and family, and that was the last I heard from her.

Chopper, you are acting all pious and angelic, but had this old flame looked like Demi Moore at 40, you would have sent her a picture of Rosanne Barr, told her that that was your wife, and then told her that she did not understand you and you needed someone to talk to about it.

[Jimcs50]

Well, ooooo Chopper!


You, too, CC.

Trollop!