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  1. #26
    Chopper Ed Helicopter Jones's Avatar
    Post Count
    14,068
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    College
    New Mexico Lobos
    And I still stand by that comment today

  2. #27
    Linger Ficking Good! CuckingFunt's Avatar
    Post Count
    22,076
    NBA Team
    Sacramento Kings
    Did someone ask "what's fat girl voice"? It's someone struggling to speak because the cellulite in their cheeks is pressing against the sides of their mouth resulting in a slightly garbled delivery...kind of like someone drowning in a pool...of their own fat.
    This is one of the first things I've read here that has actually made me feel guilty for laughing as hard as I did.

  3. #28
    Nostradamas Jr.
    Post Count
    33,691
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    Chopper, I am glad that I made this thread, if only so you could regale us with this little story.



  4. #29
    Jim cleans my teeth, I clean his....... Mrs.Jimcs50's Avatar
    Location
    College Station
    Post Count
    51
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who This morning called 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was still around.

    We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used to enjoy together.

    I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that "old magic".

    "Wow!" I was flabbergasted. "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now", I said, "I'm a bit older and a bit grayer than when you last saw me. Plus I don't really have the energy I used to have."

    She just giggled and said she was sure I would "rise to the challenge".

    "Yeah." I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a waistline that's a few inches wider these days! Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone...everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed and I am developing jowls like a Great Dane!"

    She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me saying that tubby, gray haired, older men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover.

    Anyway, she giggled and said, "I've put on a few pounds myself!"

    So I told her to off.


    Honey, whether it's the 7000th time or the first time I've heard that, it's always Comedic Platinum.

  5. #30
    Jim cleans my teeth, I clean his....... Mrs.Jimcs50's Avatar
    Location
    College Station
    Post Count
    51
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs

  6. #31
    Jim cleans my teeth, I clean his....... Mrs.Jimcs50's Avatar
    Location
    College Station
    Post Count
    51
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    Well, ooooo Chopper!


    You, too, CC.

  7. #32
    Nostradamas Jr.
    Post Count
    33,691
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    She was always a high-strung, potty-mouthed hottie freak, but now she sounds as if she's slid all the way into crack- status.

    I tried to be as polite as I could but realized there may be no getting rid of this woman if I don't do something to finalize the situation...so I asked her for her email address.

    The next day I emailed her a picture of Mrs. Chopper with Chopper Jr.

    She emailed me back and said I had a beautiful wife and family, and that was the last I heard from her.




    Chopper, you are acting all pious and angelic, but had this old flame looked like Demi Moore at 40, you would have sent her a picture of Rosanne Barr, told her that that was your wife, and then told her that she did not understand you and you needed someone to talk to about it.




  8. #33
    Nostradamas Jr.
    Post Count
    33,691
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    Well, ooooo Chopper!


    You, too, CC.


    Trollop!

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