My show would involve the only cooking apparatus I ever use: George Foreman's Lean, Mean, Fat-Reducing Grilling Machine. GFLMFRGM will be the new EVOO. And if that's not interesting enough I'll throw in ethnic slurs regarding the culture of whatever food we're making.
"To make our marinara authentic make sure you buy some fresh tomatoes. Or, to make it REALLY authentic wop food you can steal them."

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