Analysis: Official Duncan > Jesus thread!

[ATXSPUR]

[pad300]

[prologue - granted there was no NBA when JC was around, but if Duncan were alive he would have invented basketball....... and swimming]

Formula:
# of championships (x) # finals MVP's (+) # of disciples (+) # of times returned from the dead (x) career free-throw percentage (+) # of HEB commercials = greatness score.

a score of 10 or better (not equal) = greatness!

first up, Jesus:

0 championships
x
0 finals MVP's
+
12 disciples
+
1 time returned from the dead
x
.777 career free-throw percentage (estimated)
+
0 (that's right '0') HEB commercials

=

10.101 on the greatness scale.

He was indeed a great man, as you can tell by my flawless logic. And he proved that he was great by starting a religion later on in life, you might have heard of it.

But now for Tim Duncan's score:

4 championships
x
3 finals MVP's
+
0 disciples (at least not yet)
+
0 returns from the dead
x
.684 career free-throw percentage
+
5 HEB commercials (and there's probably more that I don't know about)

=

13.208 on the greatness scale!!!!

Conclusion: Duncan > Jesus

I know what you're saying, "but wouldn't that put players like Jordan and Bill Russell way ahead of Duncan?" Well....yeah, but .....that would poke a hole in my logic, so....they don't count. And I know, I know you're saying "Jesus only had those worn out sandals to hoop it up in so he should have a handicap", well maybe Jesus should have agreed to that Adidas shoe contract that he was offered, hmmmm.


All I'm saying is this: Jesus turns water into wine. Duncan turns water into championships.

0*0 + 12 + 1 * (0.777) + 0 = 12.777 <> 10.101

4*3 + 0 + 0 * (0.684) + 5 = 17 <> 13.208

Whatever the validity of the formulas, this conclusively proves, that jaffies can't do math...

[E20]

Tony, Manu, and Bruce the disciples of Tim? LOL

Timmy bounces the ball of J's head.

[Fernando TD21]

But one could argue that Duncan have better teammates and he only have a better NBA career because he is just luckier. 1 on 1 Jesus would teach Duncan the ten commandments.

Manu is also bigger than Jesus, this season. Manu = God > Duncan > Jesus (this season).

[Los Spurs]

Jesus wears a Manu jersey on game days

[Galileo]

Duncan > Jesus Alou > Ivan DeJesus

[rascal]

noone should get offended over this.

Jesus is the MVP of the world. He has been taking demons to school for ages. He would quote the word against Timmy and Timmy would be OWNED

Got a Jesus vs Devil one on one bball comparison? Im assuming the Devil's freethrow percentage would be .666

Yeah but his field goal % would also be .666.

[Galileo]

[prologue - granted there was no NBA when JC was around, but if Duncan were alive he would have invented basketball....... and swimming]

Formula:
# of championships (x) # finals MVP's (+) # of disciples (+) # of times returned from the dead (x) career free-throw percentage (+) # of HEB commercials = greatness score.

a score of 10 or better (not equal) = greatness!

first up, Jesus:

0 championships
x
0 finals MVP's
+
12 disciples
+
1 time returned from the dead
x
.777 career free-throw percentage (estimated)
+
0 (that's right '0') HEB commercials

=

10.101 on the greatness scale.

He was indeed a great man, as you can tell by my flawless logic. And he proved that he was great by starting a religion later on in life, you might have heard of it.

But now for Tim Duncan's score:

4 championships
x
3 finals MVP's
+
0 disciples (at least not yet)
+
0 returns from the dead
x
.684 career free-throw percentage
+
5 HEB commercials (and there's probably more that I don't know about)

=

13.208 on the greatness scale!!!!

Conclusion: Duncan > Jesus

I know what you're saying, "but wouldn't that put players like Jordan and Bill Russell way ahead of Duncan?" Well....yeah, but .....that would poke a hole in my logic, so....they don't count. And I know, I know you're saying "Jesus only had those worn out sandals to hoop it up in so he should have a handicap", well maybe Jesus should have agreed to that Adidas shoe contract that he was offered, hmmmm.


All I'm saying is this: Jesus turns water into wine. Duncan turns water into championships.

jaffies > Judas Iscariot

[DAF86]

Yeah but his field goal % would also be .666.

so you're suggesting that the devil is shaq.

[Galileo]

Jesus suffered under Pontius Pilate for our sins, Duncan suffered under planter fasciitis for we Spurs fans.

[Mister Sinister]

This is bull . Much as I love Timmy, Optimus would take him to school in a basketball game.

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

Duncan> Jesus Shuttlesworth

Some additional points of comparison worth considering:

-Tim could very well have been an Olympic swimmer, Jesus walked on water. Which is better depends on your opinion of working harder vs. working smarter.

-Despite having a better projected free throw percentage (I'd argue that it would be at least in the mid 80's if they named a character played by Ray Allen after him) you have to consider the era JC played in. Duncan has played his career in the handcheck/ superstar calls era. Meanwhile, Pilate swallowed his whistle for what would probably be some suspension worthy stuff nowadays. He just couldn't get to the line much.

-Whining. God bless him, Timmy does it a lot. On the other side of the equation, "Forgive them, they know not what they do." Someone knows how to shut up and play.

-Hot wives. Amy Duncan is pretty easy on the eye. According to Dan Brown, Jesus was married to Mary Magdalene, who according to Mel Gibson looked an awful lot like Monica Belucci. Both are lucky bas s in that regard, but advantage goes to Timmy. It's theory and conjecture against the bird in hand on that one.

-Supporting casts. Tim's almost always had some kind of all-star caliber help and some great clutch performers. Jesus? Well there was Judas. And then you've got Peter, the Hedo of the olden times. He was good for the most part, but he choked on three open looks before the crowed.

-Jesus resurrected himself. Tim brought the Spurs to an NBA record single season turnaround.

-Guiding forces: People love to paint Pop as a hard ass, but he's never asked Tim to die for the sins of Manu. That's all I'm saying.

Also, I don't know how you define disciple, but it could be argued that Al Jefferson, who says he studies tape of Duncan in hopes of patterning his game after him, might count.

[Galileo]

first up, Jesus:

12 disciples

But now for Tim Duncan's score:

0 disciples (at least not yet)

Aha! But Duncan had 12 teammates, none of whom have betrayed him (excepting maybe Stephen Jackson)

[NASpurs]

Duncan> Jesus Shuttlesworth

Some additional points of comparison worth considering:

-Tim could very well have been an Olympic swimmer, Jesus walked on water. Which is better depends on your opinion of working harder vs. working smarter.

-Despite having a better projected free throw percentage (I'd argue that it would be at least in the mid 80's if they named a character played by Ray Allen after him) you have to consider the era JC played in. Duncan has played his career in the handcheck/ superstar calls era. Meanwhile, Pilate swallowed his whistle for what would probably be some suspension worthy stuff nowadays. He just couldn't get to the line much.

-Whining. God bless him, Timmy does it a lot. On the other side of the equation, "Forgive them, they know not what they do." Someone knows how to shut and play.

-Hot wives. Amy Duncan is pretty easy on the eye. According to Dan Brown, Jesus was married to Mary Magdalene, who according to Mel Gibson looked an awful lot like Monica Belucci. Both are lucky bas s in that regard, but advantage goes to Timmy. It's theory and conjecture against the bird in hand on that one.

-Supporting casts. Tim's almost always had some kind of all-star caliber help and some great clutch performers. Jesus? Well there was Judas. And then you've got Peter, the Hedo of the olden times. He was good for the most part, but he choked on three open looks before the crowed.

-Jesus resurrected himself. Tim brought the Spurs to an NBA record single season turnaround.

-Guiding forces: People love to paint Pop as a hard ass, but he's never asked Tim to die for the sins of Manu. That's all I'm saying.

Also, I don't know how you define disciple, but it could be argued that Al Jefferson, who says he studies tape of Duncan in hopes of patterning his game after him, might count.

This thread is stupid but this post made me crack up.

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

Don't let the haters get to you, this was hillarious.

Who are the real haters?

[Mister Sinister]

Who are the real haters?

Suns fans?

[Spuradicator]

not offensive, it was just ing stupid. Lame attempt at trying to be cool.

[hater]

This comparison is completely out of line!!! Everyone knows Jesus' career was cut short due to crucifiction.

[Galileo]

This comparison is completely out of line!!! Everyone knows Jesus' career was cut short due to crucifiction.

ya, but he was already 33, and starting to show signs of age.

[Hemotivo]

wtf?

[sassystriker]

Non-sense.

Jesus owns duncan. He can never be beaten. He's off the charts.

[Galileo]

I find this entire thread to be very offensive.

Some joker thought it was funny to compare Duncan to Jesus because Galileo compared Duncan to Jordan.

By analogy, this joker is, metaphorically speaking, actually comparing Jordan to Jesus, not Duncan to Jesus.

That is ridiculous and very offensive.

I call an offensive foul!

A better comparison is to compare Galileo to Jesus, because both had very unfair religious trials.

[Kermit]

Well, at least he didn't compare him to Muhammad. This thread would've been burned down by now.

[Mr.Bottomtooth]

[ManuTim_best of Fwiendz]

Duncan> Jesus Shuttlesworth

Some additional points of comparison worth considering:

-Tim could very well have been an Olympic swimmer, Jesus walked on water. Which is better depends on your opinion of working harder vs. working smarter.

-Despite having a better projected free throw percentage (I'd argue that it would be at least in the mid 80's if they named a character played by Ray Allen after him) you have to consider the era JC played in. Duncan has played his career in the handcheck/ superstar calls era. Meanwhile, Pilate swallowed his whistle for what would probably be some suspension worthy stuff nowadays. He just couldn't get to the line much.

-Whining. God bless him, Timmy does it a lot. On the other side of the equation, "Forgive them, they know not what they do." Someone knows how to shut up and play.

-Hot wives. Amy Duncan is pretty easy on the eye. According to Dan Brown, Jesus was married to Mary Magdalene, who according to Mel Gibson looked an awful lot like Monica Belucci. Both are lucky bas s in that regard, but advantage goes to Timmy. It's theory and conjecture against the bird in hand on that one.

-Supporting casts. Tim's almost always had some kind of all-star caliber help and some great clutch performers. Jesus? Well there was Judas. And then you've got Peter, the Hedo of the olden times. He was good for the most part, but he choked on three open looks before the crowed.

-Jesus resurrected himself. Tim brought the Spurs to an NBA record single season turnaround.

-Guiding forces: People love to paint Pop as a hard ass, but he's never asked Tim to die for the sins of Manu. That's all I'm saying.

Also, I don't know how you define disciple, but it could be argued that Al Jefferson, who says he studies tape of Duncan in hopes of patterning his game after him, might count.

clever comparison