Are you happy?

[Ronaldo McDonald]

Put that into perspective everytime your down and you'll be right back up.

[Ronaldo McDonald]

The gay joke part of my post was just from the fact that it seems like I get a lot of about being bi, be it, you know, random middle school smack, be it "you're not really bi until you another guy", or be it "There's no such thing as bisexuality." None of it, really actually bothers me, it's just tiresome as . As to why I voted no, I'm an extremely cynical and pessimistic person, especially for my age (19). I mean, I largely gave up on my generation when I was a freshman in high school. And a lot of that stems from my cir stances. I'd just moved back to the suburbs of Chicago, from San Antonio, and I *loved* it down in SA. So much so that the move back up to a place where I'd known little more than taunts and ridicule from....about 1st grade to 6th grade. So, it kinda screwed me up a bit, turned me cynical at 13. Been that way since. Rawrgh.

I prayed to Jesus Christ so that he will have mercy on your sinful soul. I also prayed for a cure.

[CuckingFunt]

I would say that I'm almost always happy, but I'm almost never perky -- I'm not the sunshine, rainbows, and beaming smiles type of girl, nor do I particularly want to be. My general disposition tends to be pretty upbeat, however. There are days that are tougher than others, of course, but I find I'm more prone to stress, ennui, or feeling overwhelmed than I am to actual sadness. Sadness, for me, is usually event specific and passes pretty quickly.

A little over ten years ago, when I dropped out of college, I did go through a period of legitimate depression, which wasn't pleasant. Depression is the type of thing that affects people differently, and is caused by different things in different people, but I found that in my case it was largely as a result of not taking the time to really analyze what I was feeling -- it was too heavy to deal with the fear and disappointment that I was feeling from all the going on in my life at that time, so I lumped it all together and called it "sad" until it became such a huge and mysterious thing that I let it take over. Once I really forced myself to figure out what I was feeling and what was causing it, the "depression" became a bunch of smaller problems that were easier to tackle. And I've pretty much maintained that at ude -- I do not let myself ignore what's happening in my own life, or how those things are affecting me. Nor do I let myself take for granted the really good stuff that happens every day, no matter how small it may have felt at the time.

Also, a lot of what you've described feeling doesn't sound like depression to me as much as it sounds like being in a rut. Having goals and plans that never move beyond the point of being goals and plans can be disheartening after a while because they just seem to feel further and further out of reach. Start taking steps toward what you want to accomplish -- not making more elaborate plans, but actual making-it-happen steps -- and you'll notice a tremendous difference in your disposition. Even though my rather minimal battle with depression ended several years ago, the difference in my outlook now that I'm actually back in school (as opposed to spending a decade talking about going back) is night and day.

[thispego]

pego - who gives you the right to define what is too sensitive? Yes, I am a sensitive person. I care about things too much sometimes, I worry about things too much a lot of the time, I wear my heart on my sleeve, but that is who I am and always will be.

I was asking you for a simple courtesy, not "being a puss" about anything. Can you not see the difference? This is a sensitive topic and people are more likely to give insightful responses if the thread doesn't turn into a big rip-fest. Is that unreasonable?

see you say yourself that you are too sensitive, hey I wont lie i'm the same way sometimes. One thing i do is every time i find myself complaining about something in my life i stop myself and think of something I am thankful for in my life. anything. It may not always make me happy but my mind is off the complaint and i go on with my day.

and the reason "asking a simple courtesy" is the same as "being a puss" is because you preempt every attack with a plea to not attack you. do you think that really works here? deal with each asshole as they come, you think you're a smart guy, right?

[BonnerDynasty]

I've been unhappy for the last 8 years.

[SequSpur]

[marini martini]

You got two choices when you wake up, be happy or ing hate life and want to kill your loved ones, or other stupid posters at ST. If it is the latter, go to your Doctor & tell him/her. They will write you a script for a pill to make you not want to kill your love ones, or stupid ST talkers. So during the day, put up a good front, don't have a meltdown in Target, and in the evening, before bed, drink a few shots of strong booze, take another 1/4 of a pill and go to sleep. Wake up next day, repeat!

[Fat Bones]

Life's tough but precious. Make the best choices you can, and take your eyes off yourself. That works for me.

[Don Quixote]

I'm really quite torn. I'm at a crossroads in my life. I have no career to speak of but plenty of quals and various work experience... I have no significant other and none even on the horizon... I want to come to SA, but at the same time I love my lifestyle here and really want to build something rather than just running off to somewhere new as I have done every 2-4 years since I was 18...

I'm just amazed that there is a devotee of the Silver and Black in Australia. That is awesome. And a good guy to boot. What is the word for a "fellow" in Australian ... "bloke"? No, that's Canada.

And does this mean that the international tension between Australia and the US, resulting from when Crocodile Dundee IV -- Streets of Omaha, tanked at the box office, has been patched up by our respective embassies?

[Don Quixote]

Now repeat after me ...

I believe this Bible. I am what it says I am. I can do what it says I can do.

And now I'm going to stick it under my chair and not look at again for the rest of the service.

[sabar]

Really long rant incoming.
Actual serious post incoming.

I'm always happy about life. I've honestly never been depressed. Ever. I had an epiphany about life and the universe around the age of 15. We are a dealt a set of cards in the game of life. Sometimes you get a really bad hand, but you have to just play until you get dealt another. A lot of people think way too much into things. When a loved one dies, they question their religion and everything around them. Why? From both a religious and logical view, mourning is useless. Religiously, that is fate, you will meet up in the afterlife. Logically, the mourning is a selfish reaction to losing a companion and friend, something you care about. Either way the message is the same, stop sulking and get on with life.

I have seen a lot of people and read a lot of stories. Suicides, mass killings, so on. They let themselves be controlled by their emotions. We all know the feeling. We say "I won't cry when so-and-so dies" and they die, and you cry. Or you say "I don't get into pointless fights" and then you have a burst of emotion and say things you wish you could take back.

It's hard to explain exactly what my view of the world is, but I've taken an at ude that you have to be in control. We aren't the pawns of fate, we carry an immense responsibility for our actions. Maybe this is why I've never been depressed, I can't see the logic in it, I can't feel sorry for myself and I have a hard time feeling sorry for others. When someone around me gets dramatic and emo, I tell them how it is, to shut up and deal with it. That crying isn't doing anything, that they are being selfish and letting their emotions run their lives. A lot of people will say that I'm cruel, but I'm just hoping that they will open their eyes, stop being blind and actually see themselves in a mirror. People are biased about themselves, sometimes you have to look from outside in at yourself and ask "why am I doing what I'm doing?"

An enlightened person should be able to see their flaws and try to overcome them instead of reinforce those flaws. A good example is a phobia. When that spider you hate crawls up to you and you freak out and smash it, you let your emotions and your subconscious control you. Stop and think. Why are you afraid of it? Is it logical? Most spiders aren't venomous and don't bite. They eat pests. Why are you smashing it? Do you feel pleasure when you kill it? Then look deeper, why do you feel good by ending life? Would you ever blur the line between a spider and a person? Is it logical?

Maybe I'm just weird, but I often stay up in bed staring blankly and thinking. Asking these questions over and over to help myself form a view of the world. I am convinced that the purpose of life is to find the truth. The truth is so easily veiled to ourselves. We lie about our habits, we convince ourselves to do immoral things. We believe all we are told, we don't research. The truth is the most noble thing to find, the end-all answer to morality and reason.

Sometimes you just have to think. But when you think, don't fool yourself. Read an introductory book on psychology. Read about self-reinforcing habits. Anxiety is an excellent example. If meeting a person makes you nervous, then avoiding them makes you secure. This behavior reinforces itself. You have to be able to catch these things and put yourself in control.

All our problems come when we get reduced into a more bestial state of mind, when emotions take over. Sometimes you just need to "wake up", stop being blind, and see the truth. There is no reason for anyone to be unhappy. Yes, it is normal to be sad if you lose everything in a fire, but it's not normal to dwell on it and kill yourself. Life throws us a lot of curveballs and deals us a lot of bad hands. Just look at the big picture once in a while.

I am not a cheerful person. I am not optimistic and unrealistic, yet I am happy. Life is so precious. Once it's over, there is no guarantee that you will ever experience it again. Tasting your favorite food, listening to your favorite music. Watching a Spurs game, laughing, everything will be gone. Everyone always dwells on the negatives. "I'm too fat", "No one likes me", "I'm not popular". Always dwelling on superficial nothingness.

If you were famous and died right now, what would you be remembered for? Hint: Not that you were unpopular, fat, awkward, tall, short, bald or any of these superficial qualities. And that's just one of the many things people need to realize.

Maybe this made sense to someone. It's hard to explain, but one day I just woke up and realized what was right and wrong in the world, what was useless and what was beautiful. RuffnReady, you mention your outlashing at people on sensative topics you may be passionate about. Everyone is the same way to some extent. There are many things that I am convinced are correct and I occasionally get genuinely angry about them. One needs not look further than this forum than to see the reactions of people when the innocent are brutally killed, one of the few things nearly everyone agrees on. People get inflamed and as I mentioned many times, they let their emotions get a hold of themselves and say stupid things. When you want to flay the murderer of a child and desecrate their body, you are no better than that murderer.

I have not always been in control on my emotions. I taught myself, I was not born this way. Like I said, I came to an epiphany one day, randomly. I can now say that I am happy because of this realization. I blame my curiosity mostly. I love to read. I love to think. I spend so much time daydreaming, reading psychology, philosophy and looking at behavioral statistics. I find the field incredibly interesting, and yet, I have no desire to be a psychologist.

Sometimes you just have to lay down and think long and hard, with no emotion. When you are at a crossroads, get into a friendly debate. If you have a set view of the world, then you need to divulge into it more. In my opinion, people should always be looking at both sides of the fence until the day they die. As an example I have thought out all the pros and cons of abortion and yet still find myself unable to pick a side in the debate consistently, so I usually end up arguing for and against both sides. I'd like to think that that is a good thing. Life is not black and white, there are thousands of shades of gray that have to be explored, and this applies to ourselves as well as controversial topics.

I am not a writer as you may have been able to tell. This post jumps from topic-to-topic, I just typed stuff as it came into my mind. I'm sorry if it doesn't help anyone, maybe I should put more time into putting my little theories and views into words.

------------------------------------------------------

If anyone wants to divulge more into the mind, I strongly suggest the following book:
http://www.amazon.com/Classic-Experi.../dp/0313318212

If you are interested in topics on philosophy, the mind, and morality, I strongly suggest some of the following:

Plato's "Republic" has been in print for hundreds of years and hurray, has no copyright. It is a difficult read. Here is a free text: http://classics.mit.edu/Plato/republic.html

An excellent view of the universality of morals can be found in Immanuel Kant's writings. These are not the easiest reads, but a good groundwork is laid out in "Groundwork of the Metaphysics of Morals": http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groundw...ysic_of_Morals

Finally, Peter Singer's "Practical Ethics" is a highly controversial but incredibly enlightening work on the morals of our everyday life. Don't let Singer's infamy keep you from reading his excellently penned book. Agree with him or not, but this Australian Philosopher really will make you think.

As an aside, for the males, Care Ethics is a very interesting field in how females tend to view the world with more care than males and how this can be applied. This is mostly fronted by Carol Gilligan. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethics_of_care

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

Okay, haven't read the posts above yet, but I have to respond to Ronaldo first.

Dude, I know what you mean. I think all the time about the fact that my life is AWESOME, that I am extremely lucky to have had the breaks I have had because most of the world lives in a ful state... I am SOOOOOO grateful for all I've been given and I regularly thank the Universe for my good fortune.

However, that knowledge doesn't necessarily make me feel any better (sometimes it does, but not lately), so I end up feeling even worse about the fact that I'm not happy when I should be.

Makes no sense at all, I know, but there you go.

[I am Tom]

Before I answer can I ask a personal question, When was the last time you got laid?

[Prophetess]

I haven't been laid for ever. I'm happiest when I'm eating.

[TDMVPDPOY]

well currently, my hours were decreased, and now i got teh fokn flu

[ATRAIN]

Happy for the most part. Was pretty damn happy this weekend. Would have been happier this morning if my coworkers weren't annoying idiots. Would be in a great mood if the Astros would have won last night.

[katyon6th]

Look at my smile; I'm so damn happy, the people are jealous of me

I'm really happy, I'm sugar coated me...

[leemajors]

Life's tough but precious. Make the best choices you can, and take your eyes off yourself. That works for me.

Life is precious, and God, and the Bible...

[MI21]

Ruff, my brother, what happened with your girlfriend that you posted about?

As for me, I'm pretty happy most of the time. Girlfriend is amazing, study is going well, feeling fit and healthy... Things are all good. Money is about the only thing that gets me down, but I know thats only while im studying.

[MannyIsGod]

Ruff - I think you simply over think, over complicate, and expect too much at times.

You need to learn to relax. Have you ever considered something like Yoga?

[Shelly]

I would say that I'm almost always happy, but I'm almost never perky -- I'm not the sunshine, rainbows, and beaming smiles type of girl, nor do I particularly want to be. My general disposition tends to be pretty upbeat, however. There are days that are tougher than others, of course, but I find I'm more prone to stress, ennui, or feeling overwhelmed than I am to actual sadness. Sadness, for me, is usually event specific and passes pretty quickly.

Exactly. Everyone goes through a funk here and there and sometimes I find that I just have to plop myself down in front of the TV for a day and watch some mindless fluff (like bad Lifetime movies). I get over it and go about my life. I also will remind myself that my life isn't that bad and it could definitely be worse. Of course, hormones come into play some of the time.

My good friend has had a lot of tragedy in her life and just last week had something major happen to her. However, we were able to laugh about it and everything else that's happened to her. I commented to her that the one thing I loved about her was that she is always able to find humor in everything. She said she has to or else she would be depressed. I'm the same way. I firmly believe laughter is the best medicine.

[ATRAIN]

Ruff - I think you simply over think, over complicate, and expect too much at times.

You need to learn to relax. Have you ever considered something like Yoga?

Yoga??? Your such a pussy!!

[angel_luv]

An adjunct to the question above is do you think that some people are just happy/unhappy by nature, or is it a choice? If it is a choice, how can you change your perspective to be a happier?

I just now saw this thread. All I have read so far is your post.
I wanted to be sure to respond to you.

All my hope and happiness is rooted in my faith.
I wish you lived here so you could visit my church with me.
Since you don't, I encourage you to find a Bible believing congregation of your own.
I know going to church for the first time makes a lot of people nervous, but so did going to school, getting a bike etc.
Aren't you glad now that you did?
You didn't know you were going to love your favorite restaurant until you tried it.

To finish answeing your question, this is how I keep happy:
Every day I make it a point to 1) recognize all the ways I am already blessed
and 2) trust that God is working out all the rest in my favor.

I hope this helps you! I will pray for you.

[MannyIsGod]

Yoga??? Your such a pussy!!

I can't do Yoga. I'm the most unflexible mother er ever created. I just know that it helps some people relax and I'm trying to help this guy out.

[Jimcs50]

I am ecstatic....well, I am not the ecstatic, but I am happy 99% of the time.