Duff

[bigzak25]

It's not right to tear people down to try to make them stronger. And that's what you are doing, tearing her down. You are walking a thin line and if you aren't careful, you are going to fall off and not be able to recover.

i respectfully disagree.

our soldiers fighting for our freedom right now go through that very thing.

they are torn down and built up again.

if they can do it? so can she.


ever hear the phrases,

it's always darkest before the dawn...

one must learn to crawl before they can learn to walk...

etc...

but when I build her up?

it's IN JESUS CHRIST.

Remember peeps, I'm doing this out of LOVE.

I can't lose.

[Kori Ellis]

i respectfully disagree.

our soldiers fighting for our freedom right now go through that very thing.

they are torn down and built up again.

if they can do it? so can she.


ever hear the phrases,

it's always darkest before the dawn...

one must learn to crawl before they can learn to walk...

etc...

but when I build her up?

it's IN JESUS CHRIST.

Remember peeps, I'm doing this out of LOVE.

I can't lose.

You are comparing your relationship with your wife to soldiers in Iraq. Are you listening to how whack you sound? She didn't sign up for Zak's Boot Camp.

When you tear her down is it in Jesus Christ too?

The point is Sac that she doesn't need torn down just because she isn't living in Christianity how you think she should be. You need to treat her with love and kindness if you want her to become a better person (though I'm not sure that she is the one who needs to become a better person).

Just because YOU think you have had an awakening and are changing your life in a certain way doesn't mean SHE is going through the same revelation as you. What works for you isn't going to work for her. Like I told you before, she isn't your clone and I don't know why you want her to be.

[MannyIsGod]

Man, I told Kori earlier that I didn't care what others thought of me, but to hear you call me an asshole. Yeah, that kind of hurts a little. I respect you man. I know your just calling it like you see it.

You and anyone else doesn't have to believe me, but I promise you, I'm not an asshole. I love my wife. Always will. Til the day i die. And then some. You guys are like an extended family to me, but me and wifey have been married going on 3 years next wednesday. She's closer to me and me closer to her than anyone else in the world. She's the ONE for me. She's PERFECT...for me. And I wouldn't want it any other way.

However, and you guys and dolls don't see it now, what I am doing is making her stronger. I am toughening her up so to speak. I need a strong woman to walk where i'm going and I want her to be the one. I know I said i didn't need anybody, maybe i was wrong. But nonetheless, believe this, She is Stronger right now, even as she is sleeping upstairs, then she was when she got up this morning. And now she has friends she can talk to as well.

It wasn't really my plan in the morning, but I really like the way it worked out.

And lastly, what some call PRIDE? I call ambition. There is a slight but subtle difference, but they are quite easy to confuse, so I don't begrudge anyone.

Check out the thread i'm about to post and THEN tell me how much PRIDE I have...I DARE YOU.

now YOU gets to knittin too Manny...err...God...err Manny, errr...MannyisGod...who's the PRIDEFUL one again?

Zak, I flat out don't like what you have become in after your trip to Chicago. You're not the same by any stretch of the imagination and I don't know what facilitated the change but it isn't cool.

I have no idea what is happening between you and your wife, but what is shown on this message board is far from pleasent. Look dude, I know I'm an asshole online but the fact is that I care a load about the people I know on this board I consider my friends, and you are one of them. I thought it was incredible that you had the balls to get up and go to Los Angeles, but at some point you have to stop the wreckless abonandon when it comes to your life. You have tiest to other people and as much as you want to try to convince yourself and others that you don't need them and they don't need you it is a piss poor game of semantics that you shoudln't be playing to begin with! I can live without a Kidney, but that by no stretch of your imagination means I don't need it. You may be able to live without your wife and she may be able to live without you but to construe that into meaning that you don't need each other is a sad misrepresentation of the facts. Very very sad.

There are a few lessons I have learned in life, and especially over the past few years. You don't take the things you have for granted, because they can very easily be gone the next day. And at the top of that list, you need to put the people you love and care about. It sounds like one endless stupid Hallmark card but that is because there is a ton of truth to it.

I think you need to realize you are not your wife's teacher, Zak. You are her husband and while you may be trying to make her believe your new mantra is the way to go, that is severly out of line. What's worse is I don't belive you even believe half the bull you've been spewing lately. I think you want to believe it, but I don't think you do. I'm not Dr. Phil though.

You're using your religion as a crutch, and a weak one at that. You use it at your convinence and you simply are versed enough in it to acurately make the judgements based upon it. You flat out need to seek the guidance of somenoe who is educated along those lines if that is the path you want to walk. But using the bible as a justification for your actions is bull . Zak, you need to come back to the world of grown ups where we make decisions and and deal with the consequences. You made a decision to marry your wife, and now is the time you live up to it and put her before yourself.

Take what the people say on here to heart.

[Puppy Dog]

Look dude, the fact is that I care a load about the people I know on this board I consider my friends, and you are one of them.

You don't take the things you have for granted, because they can very easily be gone the next day. And at the top of that list, you need to put the people you love and care about.

What's worse is I don't belive you even believe half the bull you've been spewing lately.

You're using your religion as a crutch, and a weak one at that...using the bible as a justification for your actions is bull .

Zak, you need to come back to the world of grown ups where we make decisions and and deal with the consequences. You made a decision to marry your wife, and now is the time you live up to it and put her before yourself.

Take what the people say on here to heart.

Thanks Manny, I know you speak from your heart.

Now let me tell you what I think...not what I know, but what i think.

I consider you and many others on this forum my friends as well. Thanks!

I don't take things for granted anymore. Used to. Don't anymore.

If you don't believe 'the bull i've been spewing' recently, than watch and learn young jedi.

You are right, my religion is my crutch. But there is nothing weak about it...and using it as justification for my actions is FAR from bull brother.

I don't want to come back to the world of 'grown-ups'.

I'm a kid at heart, and I plan to STAY that way.

But KNOW this, I DO put my wife 1st. I have for a long time...even though I did up royally by cheating BEFORE we were married, and smoking weed after we were married. But I quit smoking weed now, and I refuse to cheat.
Dude, I'm trying not to even LOOK at another woman lustfully, how many here can say the same? Cut me some slack, jack.

But I WILL take what You and other's who's opinion's I value to heart...you can rest assured on that one. Thanks man.

[xcoriate]

and I'm done.

Finally finished reading this crazy thread and well..

Sac you have got to be kidding me? Comparing your wife to soldiers and the de-humanizing process they are put through? wtf man? Dude you've been pleasant enough before and I've never had beef with you but this is absurd!

Now its not my place to give relationship advice, or religious advice, but I can tell when someone is ing up there life. Don't do it man take a step back and start apologising, get on your knees and beg forgiveness for being such a .

[MI21]

Yo X, doesn't it just make you feel like saying, "Only in America!"

[xcoriate]

, someone is going to have your balls for that.

I'm sure this kinda happens down here as well but I doubt its enough for an ep of Springer everyday.

[bigzak25]

Yo X, doesn't it just make you feel like saying, "Only in America!"

RACK.


i'm here to entertain, it's what i do, it's who i am.

as for me and wifey? no worries folks, she's tough.

remember, SHE wears the pants in the family...

and if you look at the other thread, She got the looks too...

[JoeChalupa]

Marriage rocks!!!

[smeagol]

Zaq, get some sleep.

[CosmicCowboy]

*hitting refresh button*

What time does the library in Pomona open?

[Puppy Dog]

*hitting refresh button*

What time does the library in Pomona open?

oh i'm at home now...

the thing is, Uncle D and his wife don't like me on the computer when they are at home, as i tie up their phone line...which is fair enough...

so unless it's the middle of the night when they are asleep, or during the day when they are at work? I gotta be offline here at the pad...

BUT, i'm gonna get our own local phoneline installed in our room, so problem will be solved very shortly...

and i gotta get the window on my wife's truck fixed now...the windshield had a couple cracks i needed to fix anyway, but some bas broke out the passenger side window yesterday...it sucks fo sure, but i don't really care...i'll just get it fixed and move on...what can you do, ya know... happens...

[CosmicCowboy]

*sigh*...your very own phone line?...oh Zak!...ambitious men just make me soooo wet!

[Puppy Dog]

*sigh*...your very own phone line?...oh Zak!...ambitious men just make me soooo wet!

Judas, thy name is Cosmic Cowboy...and I can't lie...when i read that quote...it moved...

[Puppy Dog]

i can see myself with Jenny doing the chevy chase scene...

'this is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy'

damn it, that's THE test... , i better pass...i have to pass...

eh, who am i kidding, did you see my pic?

Jenny don't want no fat ...or will she?

[Extra Stout]

Zach needs some serious remedial Bible teaching about how a husband is supposed to treat his wife.

You say you don't need her? The Bible says you are one flesh. You are supposed to be inseparable.

The Bible says you are supposed to cherish and care for her as you would cherish and care for your own body. You're supposed to treat her the way Christ treats the church. You don't tear her down. You don't manipulate her. You don't "test" her to make her stronger.

You're supposed to put her up on a pedestal. You're supposed to be focused on meeting her needs, not yours. If she followed you out to the desert to chase your dream, then she's a princess. But it's backwards. You're supposed to be sacrificing yourself for her.

That's what servant leadership means. Servant leadership is not getting preachy and talking down to people. It's not "forcing" her to convert. It's giving yourself up for her the way Christ gave himself up for the church.

If you'd truly changed your life the way you claim, you never would have gone to Southern California. Now that you're there, all you can do is stop living in this dream world and stop getting washed around like a piece of flotsam in the waves. The Bible says when you act like that it means you are not grounded in the Word. That is not God's plan for anybody. What you're doing is following Zack's plan and throwing up God as an excuse whenever anybody calls you on it.

People talk about how wives are supposed to submit to husbands. Well, that only works if the husband is putting his wife before himself. A wife is supposed to respect her husband, but that only works if the husband is respectable.

You are not respectable right now. She should not have to support you. You are an able-bodied adult, and your actions are abrogating your marriage covenant. You are not being faithful. You can be unfaithful without sleeping with somebody else. If you're buying a girlie magazine and showing off the girls to your wife, you're telling her that she's not good enough, that somebody else is the apple of your eye.

You're breaking your marriage covenant. You're not being what a man and a husband is supposed to be. If you keep this up, you will lose her.

You don't have the answers. You say you don't need to talk to clergy. The Bible says that you're supposed to heed wise counsel. You're supposed to heed the elders of the church. If you think you're going to do it alone because you have a Bible and you think you know what God is telling you, you are wrong. That is unbiblical. The Bible says that you grow and mature as part of a community of believers.

The Holy Spirit is not the only spirit out there, and if you snap out of it and listen to what these people who care about you are saying, you should see that the spirit that has a hold of you right now is not of God, and that you need to do a 180 and start going in the other direction.

I don't know you from Adam really, but I know somebody drifting way off course when I see it.

[clooneyschick04]

EXCELLENT points, Stout.

[Puppy Dog]

hey Stout, i appreciate your words, cuz i believe that you say them out of concern.

Thanks.

[Vashner]

One time my X made some sandwiches for a bum with a sign "Will work for food" that was kinda in our apartment route back in the day. The bum said "I don't want this I want money for beer you Beep"...

From that day on I never wanted to donate to beggers again. Salvation army, red cross, Sam shelter ok. Bum with 2 legs... no they will never see a penny of mine.

[Puppy Dog]

One time my X made some sandwiches for a bum with a sign "Will work for food" that was kinda in our apartment route back in the day. The bum said "I don't want this I want money for beer you Beep"...

From that day on I never wanted to donate to beggers again. Salvation army, red cross, Sam shelter ok. Bum with 2 legs... no they will never see a penny of mine.

that's cool...lieutenant dan's need help too....

[Useruser666]

Man, what have I learned by reading all this?

Never reply, "Wow, I've finally read this whole thread!" When ten minutes later your reply is buried ten pages deep.

Duff is Zak's wife.

Zak is a dog that is having seperation issues. And will possibly be crated by his wife and/or Kori.

Jim proved that you can buy respect and admiration..

Atleast in this forum, Duff is made entirely of Teflon.

[CosmicCowboy]

Man, what have I learned by reading all this?

Never reply, "Wow, I've finally read this whole thread!" When ten minutes later your reply is buried ten pages deep.

Duff is Zak's wife.

Zak is a dog that is having seperation issues. And will possibly be crated by his wife and/or Kori.

Jim proved that you can buy respect and admiration..

Atleast in this forum, Duff is made entirely of Teflon.

[SpursWoman]

You forgot something though.........

Man, what have I learned by reading all this?

Never reply, "Wow, I've finally read this whole thread!" When ten minutes later your reply is buried ten pages deep.

Duff is Zak's wife.

Zak is a dog that is having seperation issues. And will possibly be crated by his wife and/or Kori.

Jim proved that you can buy respect and admiration..

Atleast in this forum, Duff is made entirely of Teflon.

SW's old ass loves me.

There...I fixed it.

[tlongII]

All I can say is that if Zak's wife was my sister I would be just about ready to give Zak a serious beatdown.

[KEDA]

[soapbox]

Wow Zac,

I have to tell you, as a friend of yours for the last year or so, Ive seen you go through alot of change.

Change I thought was good for you.

Until now.

Bro, take a look at things, I know you think you are doing the correct thing by "tearing your wife down to build her up again" but that isnt the case. She is only getting more callus to the fact that you are treating her like . Ive had a little bit of experience in this matter when Krista and I split. We used to fight slot, especailly towards the end, and we got so callus to each others threats that she finally just called me on the phone one day and left my life for good. Granted we were just boyfriend and girlfriend, but it still was the worst thing to ever happen in my life.

the question I ask you is, DO YOU WANT THAT TO HAPPEN TO YOU?

I would recommend talking to your wife and sorting things out. Love isnt worth losing over some jaded bull like "Im making her stronger". Why does she need to be stronger, after three years of marriage, and basically leaving EVERYTHING she knows and loves behind so YOU can go to L A on a WHIM to be a comic (like there are so few out there). Isnt that strong enough? I know it would be for me. I seriously think you need to be a tad more appreciative for what she has done for you and your "dream".

Ill be real with you Zac, when you were at Kori's house for the going away party, you and I spoke about how "free" you were, and I envied you, I wanted to have that kind of mental freedom, and having that huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. But now seeing what that can make a person become, Im not too sure if I want that anymore.

You know me, Im not going to revert to calling you a , or your an asshole for the way you have treated this situation, but Zac, take a look at this globally, do you like being this way? Do you like the way your wife has become? Do you like the fact that you were being hit by your wife and having water thrown at you? If the answer is yes, then continue, but if it isnt, make those changes IMMEDIATLEY! Before something way worse happens, like losing the love of YOUR life!

Be an adult about this and do whats right not only for you but your FAMILY as well.

[/soapbox]