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is it that wrong to need someone?
I think just for the fact that she put EVERYTHING on hold so she could be with you to support your dream is more than enough. It looks like she needs you, and wants to need you, why try to ruin that?
hmmm...i liked that post alot Keda. thanks man.
let me be clear on this thread...when i said tear down,
i meant i need to tear down her emotional dependance on me
so that she can realize she doesn't need me.
she is messed up right now cuz i told her i cheated on her.
i told her this a couple months ago.
it actually happened over 4 years ago, before we were married, when we were long distance...doesn't change that fact that i was wrong and that i was an asshole for doing it...
but now?
things are different.
if i wanted to continue to search for and 'upgrade' in that typical asshole fashion, i could have continued the lie...and frankly, if i had it to do over again? I wouldn't have told her ...i'm sorry i did it...i should have carried that to the grave and just let God burn me a bit longer to pay for my crime...
i ed up by telling her.
now she carries the pain that was meant for my shoulders.
THAT is why i gotta get her to stop leaning on ME emotionally, and learn to lean on Jesus and Jesus ALONE.
Now that doesn't mean i'm not gonna be there for her, emotionally, financially, or whatever, for the REST of her life and mine, I WILL BE THERE...but i need her to realize, that she doesn't NEED me to be there...not right now anyway...
dude, she freaks if i look at a in maxim magazine man!
she thinks i'm masturbating in bed and thinking of another woman if i have a in scratch in the middle of the night?
my sins of the past ed her up, and my faith in the present and future is gonna be what lifts her out of that ...
I believe...uh oh..here she comes....
is it that wrong to need someone?
I think just for the fact that she put EVERYTHING on hold so she could be with you to support your dream is more than enough. It looks like she needs you, and wants to need you, why try to ruin that?
she's a man eater!
If you go on and on about the girls in those magazines in front of her like you have done in this forum for years, you're far beyond just *looking* at the magazines.dude, she freaks if i look at a in maxim magazine man!
That'd wear on my self-esteem pretty badly after a while, too. Who the wants to be constantly compared to unattainable perfection that's not even real in the first place? The hurtfulness of it is only going to escalate exponentially if there are other problems in your relationship. My personal opinion is that it's extremely disrespectful to your wife. That's exactly how I'd feel about it, and it doesn't sound like it's much different for her.
Bad idea.
I imagine so.she is messed up right now cuz i told her i cheated on her.
Infidelity does that.things are different.
Without honesty, your relationship was built on a lie.if i wanted to continue to search for and 'upgrade' in that typical asshole fashion, i could have continued the lie...and frankly, if i had it to do over again? I wouldn't have told her ...i'm sorry i did it...i should have carried that to the grave and just let God burn me a bit longer to pay for my crime...
i ed up by telling her.
Wrong. You hurt her when you did it, even before she knew about it.now she carries the pain that was meant for my shoulders.
Oh, NOW I see what you're doing.THAT is why i gotta get her to stop leaning on ME emotionally, and learn to lean on Jesus and Jesus ALONE.
Nope. That doesn't work. You screwed up and violated her trust, and the two of you have to put the pieces back together. If she doesn't know Jesus, I seriously doubt you're going to be the one that leads here there. Your credibility is not so good.
Besides, it almost sounds like you're trying to equip her so she's strong enough to leave you, because you hate yourself.
If you don't believe she needs you, then there's not much point in staying married.Now that doesn't mean i'm not gonna be there for her, emotionally, financially, or whatever, for the REST of her life and mine, I WILL BE THERE...but i need her to realize, that she doesn't NEED me to be there...not right now anyway...
Well, yeah, you violated her trust. She can't trust you now. You have no margin for error.dude, she freaks if i look at a in maxim magazine man!
she thinks i'm masturbating in bed and thinking of another woman if i have a in scratch in the middle of the night?
These are called consequences.
No, that's not how it works... you don't have the power to fix her... doing this your own way will only make it worse.my sins of the past ed her up, and my faith in the present and future is gonna be what lifts her out of that ...
The first thing you would have to do is become trustworthy, so that maybe at some point in the future she might begin to be able to trust you again.
You're lucky she hasn't left you yet. Biblically, she could dump your ass yesterday. So, thank God he hasn't made it worse yet, humble yourself, admit you have the power in and of yourself to do NOTHING, and start to rebuild.
Extra Stout's got it going on. Buy that man a beer!
i'll buy stout a beer anytime...and that's no lie...i like a person with strong opinions...even if they're wrong...
The funny thing is that Mrs. Zak is already Christian. When I was talking to them yesterday, she said that she is already Saved. I guess that since she doesn't subscribe to Sac's exact terms of Christianity then she needs "tearing down" in his book.
He doesn't get it that he already tore her down by cheating and lying to her. And it's time to build her up through love not by his brand of tough love or whatever the he thinks he's doing.
Bottomline is that Sac really doesn't really know jack about Christianity. And needs to go back and read up on a few passages about marriage and love.
Can someone please tell me when Zac became a crackhead?
Kori is Right!
but i'm learning, slowly but surely...maybe a bit too slowly for my own good...
you got rocks to smoke?
i'll take two dollas worth of crack...c'mon now...i'm good for it...i'll pay you tomorrow...
I'm not Jim, don't try to pull that on me...you got rocks to smoke?
i'll take two dollas worth of crack...c'mon now...i'm good for it...i'll pay you tomorrow...
reminds me of that time I went to jail for having rocks up in my jeans
Wifey sleeps by herself, while BigZak posts on the forum...Man, I told Kori earlier that I didn't care what others thought of me, but to hear you call me an asshole. Yeah, that kind of hurts a little. I respect you man. I know your just calling it like you see it.
You and anyone else doesn't have to believe me, but I promise you, I'm not an asshole. I love my wife. Always will. Til the day i die. And then some. You guys are like an extended family to me, but me and wifey have been married going on 3 years next wednesday. She's closer to me and me closer to her than anyone else in the world. She's the ONE for me. She's PERFECT...for me. And I wouldn't want it any other way.
However, and you guys and dolls don't see it now, what I am doing is making her stronger. I am toughening her up so to speak. I need a strong woman to walk where i'm going and I want her to be the one. I know I said i didn't need anybody, maybe i was wrong. But nonetheless, believe this, She is Stronger right now, even as she is sleeping upstairs, then she was when she got up this morning. And now she has friends she can talk to as well.
It wasn't really my plan in the morning, but I really like the way it worked out.
And lastly, what some call PRIDE? I call ambition. There is a slight but subtle difference, but they are quite easy to confuse, so I don't begrudge anyone.
Check out the thread i'm about to post and THEN tell me how much PRIDE I have...I DARE YOU.
now YOU gets to knittin too Manny...err...God...err Manny, errr...MannyisGod...who's the PRIDEFUL one again?
*shaking head*
just because you consider yourself a christian does not mean everything you do or think is in Jesus Christ's name...look at what Koresh in Waco did in the 90's...to me it sounds that is the path you are walking to...if you want to lift someone in Gods name, then do it like Jesus did...forgiveness and unconditional LOVEi respectfully disagree.
our soldiers fighting for our freedom right now go through that very thing.
they are torn down and built up again.
if they can do it? so can she.
ever hear the phrases,
it's always darkest before the dawn...
one must learn to crawl before they can learn to walk...
etc...
but when I build her up?
it's IN JESUS CHRIST.
Remember peeps, I'm doing this out of LOVE.
I can't lose.
LOL, yup Zak is the next Koresh.
Put the Kool-Aid down big fella...
nothing like a good mixed metaphor.
Here's what I've gleaned from the thread: Duff lives with his parents and owes Jim $800. Triumph the Comic Insult Dog has found Jesus but apparently read the Cliffs Notes version of His teachings. Triumph is also unlikely to be getting tail anytime soon. Oh, did I mention that Duff lives with his parents and owes Jim $800?
Actually...he cheated with 5 woman (twice with two of them)...one that he claims he made love to...this was shortly after we got engaged and I was already planning our wedding...the others I am so ashamed to even mention...what he told me was horrible...made me sick and ashamed of marring someone that is sick in the mind and actions
right on
How does Triumph still possess his nutsack?
What makes you think he does?
i'll buy stout a beer anytime...and that's no lie...i like a person with strong opinions...even if they're wrong...
Sac honey...look in the mirrow...you are wrong, not stout. When will you wake up and smell the coffee?
Think Bobbitt. Not that we'd condone such an act...but we'd understand.
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