Damn, I need some advice (serious)

[Sapphire]

She's very religious and proper and like I said her focus was all on family. All of her family lives in and around Dallas as well.

What religion is she where divorcing your husband is acceptable, provided there is no abuse, addiction, or adultery? I think she's cheating on him.

[exstatic]

Well, to side with Manny (it's my view as well), she knew what she was getting into with this. Before they got married they talked about his work and the amount of travel that he was doing.

Our company is booming right now, it was known that we would be on the road pretty extensively for the foreseeable future (like through 2014 or so), so to me it's disappointing now she was in the here and now she couldn't take it.

Sometimes the concept and the reality are very different. She may have thought she knew, but it didn't play out like her concept of what it would be.

It also sounds like there's more than just travel here, like the whole "want kids" thing. If they talked it over and agreed to have some relatively soon, and he's now demurring (until 2014?) for work purposes, that can be a deal breaker as well.

Sometimes, the just doesn't work out. It doesn't have to be anyone's fault. People just go in different directions.

[tlongII]

Is your friend's wife hot?

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

She has a job as well. Basically, she wanted to work hard, save up some cash while he was doing the same, then have a baby. The international stuff just started developing in the last 4 months, reading between the lines that was the final blow for the relationship.

She's very religious and proper and like I said her focus was all on family. All of her family lives in and around Dallas as well.

Ah, thanks. I was assuming she was a housewife given that she was wanting a baby and all. My bad.

She could still move with him though - I mean, if i loved someone that's what I'd do.

Good luck to your friend, tough times ahead. However, if he gets to go OS for work there will be all kinds of females popping into his life. Where is the work?

[SAGambler]

Man, if she got married to him and he was already working at this job then she doesn't have a legit right, IMO. And in any event, ending a marriage becuase your husband is working to put food on the table is ed up in my book to begin with. Those vows apparently mean .

And who the would want to switch jobs in this climate? I know I wouldn't. That either wasn't ready for marriage and is looking to get out or she's a for ending it just because her husband's not a deadbeat. And don't even get me started on the move she made asking AHF to pick up more work. I hope you answered her with a finger, AHF.

Before the marriage, things may seem rosy. Maybe she thought she would get to travel with him.

But face it...Some women can live with that type of marriage, and some just flat out aren't cut out for it. Especially in a "young" marriage of only a couple of years. She probably figures he is "getting some" all over the country. Not really unusual in that type of situation.

Better to find out now than 5 or 6 years and a couple of rug rats down the road. Tell him he needs to count his blessings so to speak, that it came out early on.

Then send him to a counselor to help him get his head together and go on with his life.

[jack sommerset]

Don't let him stay with you for an extended period of time! I had a friend who was going thru a divorce stay with me for a period of 6 weeks. He was down about the whole situation and became angry at women in general...so angry that he began experimenting with sexuality and now he is a Bi-Sexual male....but leans mainly towards sex and relations with other men...there were a few times when he was living with me that he confessed of how he was becoming attracted to me in a sexual way and thats when I had to cut the friendship off for a little while and arrange different living situations..DONT DO IT...DONT LET HIM STAY WITH YOU!

That above is GREATNESS.

[The Franchise]

He didn't move out. He crashed at my place last night because we went out and got smashed. It probably sounds a little weird to some of you but he's pretty destroyed and being in the house by himself right now is something he doesn't want to do.

He's actually only crashing here for the weekend, then going to spend some time at his brother's, who lives here in town as well.

A little more perspective...

She knew what she was getting into, they were dating since college, got engaged after he had been working at our company for two years and she knew what she was getting as far as him being on the road.

She was the proverbial nuclear housewife though, all she wanted to do was get married and make babies. There is some potential international deals for our company going down and both he and I are on the short list of people to go manage those deals should they go down.

Because of that (whoever gets those gigs is going to have to move to those locations), he wanted to hold off on having kids until the work deals were all sorted out.

That wasn't the only problem they had, but it was the biggest hangup by far. They are still both relatively young (25ish +/- a year for both of them), no kids, so at least they don't have that complication.

She's always been kinda ed up in the head IMO, and when she asked me to take on some of his travel and work I just laughed in her face. We don't even work on the same software, but even if we did there's no way I would. I've got more than enough work as it is.

Just a ty situation right now, his dad came into town as well so they're out just hanging out, probably getting tanked somewhere

If your description of her is true then she has already started seeing someone else and moved on. Women rarely leave without a backup plan, especially lazy women. Just keep being a good friend to him. If you know any s that can help him to ease the pain then by all means introduce him. Nothing takes your mind of pain better than some new territory. Time heals all wounds. After about six months she will just be another in the bingo book.

[TDMVPDPOY]

i say you go over there and DP his wife nao, put her back in her seat

[CosmicCowboy]

If your description of her is true then she has already started seeing someone else and moved on. Women rarely leave without a backup plan, especially lazy women. Just keep being a good friend to him. If you know any s that can help him to ease the pain then by all means introduce him. Nothing takes your mind of pain better than some new territory. Time heals all wounds. After about six months she will just be another in the bingo book.

I'm not sure I agree with this. I think guys are a lot more likely to get bored/unhappy and start looking for greener backup relationship grass than most women. I have had many friends over the years divorce and in virtually 100% of the cases the woman did not have a backup relationship waiting in the wings. It's much more fun for them to wring every last bloody drop of relationship angst out of the existing marriage...as one of my friends wives told me, "When I'm finally ready I can get laid in any bar I want any day of the week."

[Man of Steel]

A few things that I would suggest:

1. He definitely needs to see a therapist. Most people going through a divorce can benefit from therapy.

2. He needs a lawyer to file an answer, counter-pe ion for divorce and request for temporary orders to keep status quo until a final divorce.

He would ask to be awarded the house during the pendency of the divorce, establish which party pays which bills, and other issues which are important while the divorce is pending.

If she is agreeable to him having the house, he should have no problem getting agreed orders. But he needs a divorce lawyer to preserve his rights.

Feel free to pm me for more details.

Plus--he is very lucky to have a friend like you.

[MannyIsGod]

Sometimes the concept and the reality are very different. She may have thought she knew, but it didn't play out like her concept of what it would be.

It also sounds like there's more than just travel here, like the whole "want kids" thing. If they talked it over and agreed to have some relatively soon, and he's now demurring (until 2014?) for work purposes, that can be a deal breaker as well.

Sometimes, the just doesn't work out. It doesn't have to be anyone's fault. People just go in different directions.

Well, if you get into something and then change your mind that you don't like it chances are its YOUR fault the marriage is ending. This its no one's fault is BS, IMO. You better know damn well what you're getting into in regards with marriage and having to move or deal with a TEMPORARY situation is a really ty ground on which to end what is supposed to be FOREVER.

Ah , I know I said I'd stick around when the got tough but its not really my fault I'm not going to do that?

No, that.