Bill Gates: 'What's Wrong With American High Schools'

**Clandestino** · 03-02-2005

No, it depends on who they're used to being around them all the time. I don't baby my kids, especially since they are 9 and 12. Because I am the one that's home with them, they are used to asking me for things. My husband can be standing right next to them and I can be upstairs and they will hunt me down to ask for something. If I'm not mistaken, GON's daughters (btw, I'm glad she's okay...how scary!) live with their mother so it's only natural for them to ask for her.

i can see how it would be like that in your family...

i was just saying what i see/saw in their family. in their case, both parents work, so neither one is home with the kids alone. but when they whine/cry/do what kids do, they go to their dad bc he babys them... one kid is 5 and he won't wipe his own azz! the mom says, no, i have taught you many times, you will sit there til you do it... then dad feels sorry for the kid bc he's been sitting there forever... ridiculous!

**Shelly** · 03-02-2005

I agree--I think it is better for the child if mom (or dad) can be home for them, IF they are in a situation where one of them didn't have to work. I am very fortunate that I was able and still am able to be home with them,

If you are involved in your child's life, whether you work or not, then your kid should turn out okay. I knew kids in high school that always had a parent at home that never knew what the their kid was doing. I used to party in friend's basement all the time when both her parents were home. Not once did her parents ever come downstairs and check on us.

Parents who aren't involved is the problem.

Jekka, I see what you're saying about a daughter's relationship with her father, For me, that's true. Sometimes I think I married my father. But with my sister, it's totally opposite. She always and still does goes for a totally opposite person.

**Slomo** · 03-02-2005

Originally Posted by Guru of Nothing

Oh Please! My relationship with my daughter is fine. My point was, that when a child is sick, they want their mom. At least mine do.

GoN, I'm not judging your relationship (if it's how it came out I'm sorry), but you're the one that said how your daughter expect a different relationship from you than from your wife. That's fine if your fine with it (your post kinda suggest you're not). If you're not you can do something about it (the same way as you and your wife have made them used to it as it is now - by design or inadvertently). I'm also saying that I know of fathers who do not want that status with their daughters - again as long as the child is not neglected (and I'm not suggesting in any way that she/they are) it's OK, I'm just saying that it is not pre-destined to be so.

Although S y's example definitely sounds familiar to most of us, my experience is that the child gets used to the parent's reaction in regard to their different needs/requests. So if the reactions are similar then the child will behave similarly with both parents.

Because I was in a situation where I spent a long stretch of time with my daughter alone (or almost - my wife had a serious accident and even when she returned home was unable to do much for the better part of her rehabilitation). So I had to do everything from cooking to bathing and dressing (both my mother and mother in law helped with domestic chores a lot - but I took care of our daughter). As a result I do not notice any difference in her expectations from either me or my wife - even when she was in the hospital having her tonsils removed I was able to replace my wife at her bedside without any drama.

I'm sure that later in life my wife will be more of a confidant to her than I will, but that's a gender thing and the most I can hope for is that I'm not entirely kept in the dark

**Jekka** · 03-02-2005

Originally Posted by S y

Parents who aren't involved is the problem.

Jekka, I see what you're saying about a daughter's relationship with her father, For me, that's true. Sometimes I think I married my father. But with my sister, it's totally opposite. She always and still does goes for a totally opposite person.

Parents who are too involved can be just as much of a problem, but that's really the minority. I had friends, too, where we'd always hang out because we knew we'd never see the parents - some of them turned out really well, and others ended up with things like DUIs and drug charges.

And with the relationship thing, there are exceptions to every rule, like you said. It's so impossible to make generalizations, but the bottom line is that your relationship with your parents will always shape the way you go about relationships for the rest of your life. "Good" parents aren't always successful, and that's not always their fault - "bad" parents can raise a very successful child and they may have had no beneficial influence on the outcome.

**Shelly** · 03-02-2005

Originally Posted by Jekka

Parents who are too involved can be just as much of a problem, but that's really the minority. I had friends, too, where we'd always hang out because we knew we'd never see the parents - some of them turned out really well, and others ended up with things like DUIs and drug charges.

And with the relationship thing, there are exceptions to every rule, like you said. It's so impossible to make generalizations, but the bottom line is that your relationship with your parents will always shape the way you go about relationships for the rest of your life. "Good" parents aren't always successful, and that's not always their fault - "bad" parents can raise a very successful child and they may have had no beneficial influence on the outcome.

Oh, I agree. Perfect example--Read the book about Nancy Spundgen written by her mother. It's called "And I don't want to Live This Life"

**mrblonde17** · 03-02-2005

STANDARDIZED TESTING!! We're forced to teach to a test 85-90% of the school year instead of actual critical and analytical skills.

The lege wants merit based pay for teachers; that merit will be based on how our kids do on standardized testing. If our kiddos don't do well on TAKS, we could potentially lose our jobs. As teachers, and especially those of us with children of our own, we have to decide what is more important...spending most of our time teaching a B.S. test so our kids will do well on it and we can keep our jobs and take care of our own families, or, we can teach the concepts that Mr. Gates says aren't being taught and risk having our kids do poorly on the TAKS. The kids will more than likely be much better prepared for life after highschool, but the TAKS scores suck, so we're not doing our job well, and then we lose our jobs.

We spend as much time as humanly possible teaching teaching the skills necessary for a successful career after high school, but we just don't have the time. We push the students, the principal pushes the teachers, the administrators push the principal, the school board pushes the administrators, the politicians push everyone.

And some people wonder why education is having a tough time keeping and recruiting good teachers.

**sbsquared** · 03-02-2005

I would like a teacher to explain to me what "teaching to the test" really means. It is my understanding that the TAKS is supposed to measure those areas that students should be learning already. What does the TAKS test measure that is so different from what the kids should already be learning in areas such as math, reading, etc.

My kids took the TAS test and none of the 4 had any problems with it. In fact, all of my children passed the test in their sophmore year, so didn't have to worry about passing it to graduate. I have a brother-in-law and sister-in-law who teach up in Dallas and they hate the standardized testing also. I would really like to understand, from a teacher's perspective what the problem is with this test.

**spurster** · 03-02-2005

Poor school performance caused by working moms? Show me the statistics, any statistics, that support this inference.

**desflood** · 03-02-2005

Hopefully this still works

**desflood** · 03-02-2005

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/st...084834,00.html

**desflood** · 03-02-2005

Keep in mind, for every article like these, though, there is an opposite that says it doesn't hurt kids.

**Useruser666** · 03-03-2005

I wonder how many teachers are working moms.

**Shelly** · 03-03-2005

Originally Posted by Useruser666

I wonder how many teachers are working moms.

Good question!

**Jekka** · 03-03-2005

Originally Posted by S y

Oh, I agree. Perfect example--Read the book about Nancy Spundgen written by her mother. It's called "And I don't want to Live This Life"

Thanks, S y, I'll have to check that out after I finish some reading for class - I've still got Mihesuah's Indigenous American Women to tackle.

**ducks** · 03-03-2005

f$ck bill gates
he just steals from apple
then he breaks the laws and buys them off
why would anyone want to listen to him on anything
he produces the most unsecure os around
he also produces the most unsecure browser around
oh yeah he produces the most unsecure word proccessoring program around
one more he produces the most unsecure email client around
yeah lets listen to him he knows how to do things unsafe. great role model!

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