I'm totally being civil. This is what you want:
Culburn: "Looks like the tired old bag and his band of sacks let the Mavericks pull their pants down and take their cookie, with Terry sighting in howitzers off the crown of Parker's head all night long. You thought you had it. Nuh uh."
Spurfan: [insert litany of excuses and justifications here, maybe a complaint about the refs, with a few disparaging remarks about Kobe, prompting you to issue 5>4]
Culburn: *places hand on belly and has a laugh*
Midnightpulp: them.
Culburn: "No, no, no. That's not the response I want. When you respond like that, my well deserved Schadenfreude moment is compromised!"