Well, I guess she really is pregnant...

[bigzak25]

as SW said, when finances are not an issue?

then a single parent can focus a uva lot more time being both nurturer and disciplinarian....but that's tough.

as long as there's love, the child will be alright...one parent or two.

[Jekka]

But in the spirit of the original train of thought...you're more likely to find this out about a potentially less-than-stellar father (or mother) if you are together--married or otherwise--a pretty decent amount of time before you actually bring kids into the picture.

You can't do much once things have changed over the long run.

I agree wholeheartedly - and in a perfect world we'd all know our relationships were solid as a rock before having kids and we would plan exactly when we were having them and everything would turn out exactly as planned. I guess I just feel that there should be some room for error without harsh judgment.

[SpursWoman]

I'm not here to advocate single parenthood over two parents - and I didn't really jump into this to talk about what people "should have done in the first place". We can't look at all situations for what people "should have done" - if it happens, it happens - this isn't something you can "do over" - and we're not all the same, we all make different choices. I'm advocating the right to choose single parenthood over something that the woman may feel as a disadvantageous alternative for her and her child.

Whenever a woman decides to have a child WITHOUT a man in the child's life she is thinking about satisfying her own whims.

[MannyIsGod]

I have a question here. Purely theoretical. If I'm a single man, and I'm making a load of money a year and finances are obviously not an issue but I'm not in a relationship, should I be allowed to adopt?

[SpursWoman]

I agree wholeheartedly - and in a perfect world we'd all know our relationships were solid as a rock before having kids and we would plan exactly when we were having them and everything would turn out exactly as planned. I guess I just feel that there should be some room for error without harsh judgment.

Date a couple of months, get pregnant..then maybe get married and hope it works out.

How much room for error would you need?

[SpursWoman]

I have a question here. Purely theoretical. If I'm a single man, and I'm making a load of money a year and finances are obviously not an issue but I'm not in a relationship, should I be allowed to adopt?

Are you comparing creating a life as opposed to saving one? Or is this a question completely unrelated to this thread?

[MannyIsGod]

I'll tell you all this right now. As someone who came from a single parent household, it has sucked. But for one reason that I know Jennifer Garner doesn't have to worry about: Money.

No one seems to talk about Angelina Jolie and her adopted child.

Single parenthood is only hard because of money. When you're a millionare, that's much less of an issue.

[T Park]

S Dub makes waaayyyyy too much sense.

[MannyIsGod]

Are you comparing creating a life as opposed to saving one? Or is this a question completely unrelated to this thread?

I'm just wondering when being a single parent is considered ok by people in here.

[desflood]

I'll tell you all this right now. As someone who came from a single parent household, it has sucked. But for one reason that I know Jennifer Garner doesn't have to worry about: Money.

No one seems to talk about Angelina Jolie and her adopted child.

Single parenthood is only hard because of money. When you're a millionare, that's much less of an issue.

I'm pretty sure single parenthood would suck a lot more for the kid than the parent. There's more to it than money.

[MannyIsGod]

Well, I admit I don't know every situation, but I know for a fact that the only reason my family had a hard time was because of money. My mother had to bust her ass, but there was never anything lacking.

[Marklar MM]

This looks like a good advice thread for women.

[T Park]

No one seems to talk about Angelina Jolie and her adopted child

cause she didnt go and get herself knocked up, she saved a kid from a different life, is just what Im guessing.

[SpursWoman]

I'll tell you all this right now. As someone who came from a single parent household, it has sucked. But for one reason that I know Jennifer Garner doesn't have to worry about: Money.

No one seems to talk about Angelina Jolie and her adopted child.

Single parenthood is only hard because of money. When you're a millionare, that's much less of an issue.

I'm not so sure about that. The hardest part about single parenthood for me has always been The. Question(s):

"Why don't I have a daddy....like everyone else?"

"When are you going to get married....so I can have a daddy, like everyone else?"

"It sure would be cool to have a daddy so we can go do family things...like everyone else....."

So, I guess if money is the only thing that mattered....I guess I could always reply:

"Yeah, but I just bought you that cool talking, flying cell phone personal assistant thing-y....and I bet they don't have one of those....."


If a shortage of money was the only thing that sucked for you, then you're pretty lucky.

[MannyIsGod]

OHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. So a parent situation completely changes when you adopt.

I'm sorry but I'm having a bit of trouble understanding how someone is a different parent either way.

[Jekka]

Date a couple of months, get pregnant..then maybe get married and hope it works out.

How much room for error would you need?

I'm not saying it's okay to just "hope everything works out" without doing as much as you can to ensure the success of that happening. I was under the impression that this thread was not about prevention, but what to do once you're already there and making decisions. That's where you need the room for error - the fact that you've already committed the "error" - and getting judged under those cir stances aren't going to make it any better for anyone.

[desflood]

Wasn't Jolie still married when she adopted the kid?

[MannyIsGod]

I'm not so sure about that. The hardest part about single parenthood for me has always been The. Question(s):

"Why don't I have a daddy....like everyone else?"

"When are you going to get married....so I can have a daddy, like everyone else?"

"I sure would be cool to have a daddy so we can go do family things...like everyone else....."

So, I guess if money is the only thing that mattered....I guess I could always reply:

"Yeah, but I just bought you that cool talking, flying cell phone personal assistant thing-y....and I bet they don't have one of those....."


If a shortage of money was the only thing that sucked for you, then you're pretty lucky.

I think I was/am pretty lucky in that regard, but I also don't think it's the worst thing in the world. Also, I think there are plenty of women out there - and men - capable of being excellent parents outside of a relationship.

Coming from poor parts of town, it has been much more acceptiable to be without a father. As ed up as that is, it's true. Thats probably one reason I didn't feel as much heat.

I know lots of children that come from all kinds of relationships. Single parents, Gay parents, no parents, and you're good ole american nuclear family. if I know which group has the more ed up kids, but I do know that all of the ones that look back on their parenting in a positive light had a lot of love.

[Marklar MM]

Wasn't Jolie still married when she adopted the kid?

I think so.

[T Park]

Yeah, her and Billy Bob.

A fantastic father there....

[MannyIsGod]

This is totally unrelated and Jess can more than handle herself, but this just pissed me off a tad bit.

SW, that was her being rebellious.

Who the do you think you are? You're so ing condescending in so many of your damn posts while you try to portray yourself as some kind of liberal who cares.

Jess isn't being rebelious. She's a strong woman who has strong opinions about what and who women need to suceed. You may be 5 years older than her physicaly but you act like a mental ing midget sometimes.

It pisses me off that you want to act as though you are in the heart of some stupid Latino struggle because you come from the valley, then when confronted with someone who has strong opinions about a group of people they belong to you and what they can do you sit there and talk down about it.

Maybe you should actually go read about what Che stood for before you start brandishing his name in the same way those stupid shirts at Hot Topic brand his face.

You're so damn full of . Just because you find having these convictions to be trendy, doesn't mean thats the driving force behind the people who actually have them.

[samikeyp]

Well, I admit I don't know every situation, but I know for a fact that the only reason my family had a hard time was because of money. My mother had to bust her ass, but there was never anything lacking.

Mine too.

[tlongII]

I'm not so sure about that. The hardest part about single parenthood for me has always been The. Question(s):

"Why don't I have a daddy....like everyone else?"

"When are you going to get married....so I can have a daddy, like everyone else?"

"It sure would be cool to have a daddy so we can go do family things...like everyone else....."

So, I guess if money is the only thing that mattered....I guess I could always reply:

"Yeah, but I just bought you that cool talking, flying cell phone personal assistant thing-y....and I bet they don't have one of those....."


If a shortage of money was the only thing that sucked for you, then you're pretty lucky.

You should ask User to marry you. Everyone would live happily ever after.

[Gatita]

This is totally unrelated and Jess can more than handle herself, but this just pissed me off a tad bit.


Who the do you think you are? You're so ing condescending in so many of your damn posts while you try to portray yourself as some kind of liberal who cares.

Jess isn't being rebelious. She's a strong woman who has strong opinions about what and who women need to suceed. You may be 5 years older than her physicaly but you act like a mental ing midget sometimes.

It pisses me off that you want to act as though you are in the heart of some stupid Latino struggle because you come from the valley, then when confronted with someone who has strong opinions about a group of people they belong to you and what they can do you sit there and talk down about it.

Maybe you should actually go read about what Che stood for before you start brandishing his name in the same way those stupid shirts at Hot Topic brand his face.

You're so damn full of .

You've managed once again to talk out of your ass. Jekka already reponded to my post. And she seemed to get what I was talking about. So

[tlongII]

BTW, the sheep smack is not fresh any more.