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  1. #51
    Veteran hater's Avatar
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    San Antonio Spurs
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    74,105
    Kobe is loving it. "Listen if that's what's rolling. That's what's rolling."


  2. #52
    Veteran hater's Avatar
    My Team
    San Antonio Spurs
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    74,105
    Oh and Rin. 3 pts 5 TOs in his return to HOU


  3. #53
    Grab 'em by the pussy Splits's Avatar
    My Team
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    26,183
    Why The Lakers' Brand Of Suck Matters

    Today 2:07pm


    EXPAND

    That Nick Young's return to the lineup would coincide with the Lakers' ascent from gonzo terribleness to bland mediocrity fits, really. Both because at every stop in his NBA career Nick Young has done whatever would annoy me the most, but also because "Swaggy P" is the basketball embodiment of a twee, boring, self-consciously internet-friendly, Lil-B-nihilistic, put-on eccentricity that is both the opposite and the death of the authentic, full-throated, bat insanity that had made the Lakers so fun this season.

    This is to say that what has made the Lakers such a great spectacle before now was the absolute conviction with which they did the dumb they did. Byron Scott believes in his harebrained notions of toughness and winning basketball. Kobe Bryant believes in his Solitary Basketball Assassin persona, that it will bring him victory, or at least absolve him of responsibility for defeat. That's funny! Byron and Kobe were going down with the ship, but only because they kept blasting cannons directly into the deck and calling it navigation.

    They sucked, but sucked gloriously. Now they just suck. Which is boring! The Magic suck, but nobody cares about that; the Magic suck because they're being patient in the process of becoming good. Wanting to be good, and being willing to eat some to get there, is what NBA teams are supposed to do, and it's rational, which is not entertaining. The Lakers might want to be good, too, but more than that, they want to be vindicated. That's much funnier.

    I've been writing about the Lakers since the opening of this season, and a common charge from commenters is that I am a Laker hater. This is false. I've enjoyed the Lakers' failures, sure, but not because I hate them. I love them. Until now, at least, their badness went proudly against the prevailing trends in a sport that is getting both smarter and a little duller. Their badness was a rebuke.

    The growth of advanced analysis and econometric front-office thinking in the NBA has done cool stuff for the game. Across the league, teams play faster, smarter, more sophisticated basketball than they did 15 years ago. The D-and-3 wing, the pick-and-pop big, the rise of the corner 3, and the idea of warping a defense with ball movement instead of watching Desmond ing Mason dribble for 13 seconds per possession—all of these cool things happened because people got smarter and more systematic in their thinking about how basketball works and how best to play it. That's great. It's a great development. Anyone who watched the NBA in 1999 would agree, and also reflexively make the sign of the Evil Eye at the memory of what the NBA was like in 1999.

    On the other hand, there's a sameyness to a lot of the basketball being played today, a sense that now we know the most efficient ways to play it, and that the future of basketball might just come down to seeing which turkey-necked general manager doofus navigates the CBA most effectively in a given year. In the midst of all that, it's nice—it's rapturous, amazing, astonishing!—to have a team like the Lakers doing such baldly retrograde (turning down open threes to have bad, slow players try to drive the lane; putting nearly 40 percent of the team's possessions in the hands of a 36-year-old lunatic with more basketball on his physiological odometer than virtually any living person; having Carlos Boozer do pretty much anything on a basketball court other than walk off it) for reasons that square to absolutely no degree with the basketball culture's prevailing notions of rationality and efficiency. And to have the team doing that be the Lakers, of all the teams, and to have its star be Kobe Bryant, of all the stars, with God and the world and Jack Nicholson watching. The absurdity of it. The beautiful doomed insanity of it. It is—was?—almost everything I like best about humanity. The Lakers are the way they are because of the people they are, and no one else can be them, and that's the best thing to watch on TV.

    Well, they've won two games in a row now. First over the terminally dreary Hawks, which also makes sense, because the Hawks are the quiet organic chemistry textbook library where fun things go to die. If the Hawks played a seven-game series against Satan and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse with the fate of the universe in the balance, it'd get shunted over to NBA TV to make room on TNT for reruns of Bones, and rightly so. Of course the Hawks lost to the Lakers. They are basketball soundproofing. Their job is to produce whichever outcome makes you change the channel.

    And then, last night, the Lakers took down the Rockets, who were without Dwight Howard and any idea what the they are doing. And this—Dwight Howard rendering the Lakers less enjoyable—also makes sense. It's what he did the entire year he was a Laker, after all.

    Yeah, too much makes sense around the Lakers, now. They are not a Looney Tunes cartoon come to life anymore. Now they're just a basketball team that sucks. They're 3-9, better by winning percentage than the Sixers, Thunder, and Knicks. They've transitioned from a team that will find a way to lose even when its opponent plays like to a team that will do the rational thing and accept a victory when offered one. That's boring. Booooooooo.

    On the other hand, at this rate, they might just piss away their lottery pick, consigning themselves to another year of pretty much exactly this, only with an even older and more insane Kobe Bryant. That would be ridiculous as ! I could talk myself into that.

  4. #54
    Grab 'em by the pussy Splits's Avatar
    My Team
    San Antonio Spurs
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    26,183
    Nick Young received a flop warning from the NBA on Thursday.

    Young drew a foul on Kyle Korver while attempting a 3-point shot, and as the video shows, Korver did not even make contact with Young. The first offense is just a warning, but the second results in a $5,000 fine, with each additional flop resulting in an increased penalty. Young has brought a much-needed scoring-punch to the Lakers' second unit, and is averaging 17.0 points and 2.0 three-pointers through his first two games. He doesn't do much aside from score, but should be able to sustain limited value in standard leagues.

  5. #55
    Believe.
    My Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    Post Count
    6,441

  6. #56
    notthewordsofonewhokneels Thread's Avatar
    My Team
    Los Angeles Lakers
    Post Count
    91,195

  7. #57
    Banned
    My Team
    Oklahoma City Thunder
    Post Count
    869

  8. #58
    Veteran
    My Team
    Los Angeles Clippers
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    5,371
    This thread will blow up if the Lakers beats the Mavericks tonight...

  9. #59
    Drive for Five! ambchang's Avatar
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    San Antonio Spurs
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    18,142
    The Lakers doesn't even have to beat the Mavs, they just have to keep it close and not lose by 20 points.

  10. #60
    MORE LIFE SOON COME 313's Avatar
    My Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    Post Count
    11,595
    We could have swaggy p when he was a free agent.

  11. #61
    Believe. Malik Hairston's Avatar
    My Team
    San Antonio Spurs
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    11,370
    Why The Lakers' Brand Of Suck Matters

    Today 2:07pm


    EXPAND

    That Nick Young's return to the lineup would coincide with the Lakers' ascent from gonzo terribleness to bland mediocrity fits, really. Both because at every stop in his NBA career Nick Young has done whatever would annoy me the most, but also because "Swaggy P" is the basketball embodiment of a twee, boring, self-consciously internet-friendly, Lil-B-nihilistic, put-on eccentricity that is both the opposite and the death of the authentic, full-throated, bat insanity that had made the Lakers so fun this season.

    This is to say that what has made the Lakers such a great spectacle before now was the absolute conviction with which they did the dumb they did. Byron Scott believes in his harebrained notions of toughness and winning basketball. Kobe Bryant believes in his Solitary Basketball Assassin persona, that it will bring him victory, or at least absolve him of responsibility for defeat. That's funny! Byron and Kobe were going down with the ship, but only because they kept blasting cannons directly into the deck and calling it navigation.

    They sucked, but sucked gloriously. Now they just suck. Which is boring! The Magic suck, but nobody cares about that; the Magic suck because they're being patient in the process of becoming good. Wanting to be good, and being willing to eat some to get there, is what NBA teams are supposed to do, and it's rational, which is not entertaining. The Lakers might want to be good, too, but more than that, they want to be vindicated. That's much funnier.

    I've been writing about the Lakers since the opening of this season, and a common charge from commenters is that I am a Laker hater. This is false. I've enjoyed the Lakers' failures, sure, but not because I hate them. I love them. Until now, at least, their badness went proudly against the prevailing trends in a sport that is getting both smarter and a little duller. Their badness was a rebuke.

    The growth of advanced analysis and econometric front-office thinking in the NBA has done cool stuff for the game. Across the league, teams play faster, smarter, more sophisticated basketball than they did 15 years ago. The D-and-3 wing, the pick-and-pop big, the rise of the corner 3, and the idea of warping a defense with ball movement instead of watching Desmond ing Mason dribble for 13 seconds per possession—all of these cool things happened because people got smarter and more systematic in their thinking about how basketball works and how best to play it. That's great. It's a great development. Anyone who watched the NBA in 1999 would agree, and also reflexively make the sign of the Evil Eye at the memory of what the NBA was like in 1999.

    On the other hand, there's a sameyness to a lot of the basketball being played today, a sense that now we know the most efficient ways to play it, and that the future of basketball might just come down to seeing which turkey-necked general manager doofus navigates the CBA most effectively in a given year. In the midst of all that, it's nice—it's rapturous, amazing, astonishing!—to have a team like the Lakers doing such baldly retrograde (turning down open threes to have bad, slow players try to drive the lane; putting nearly 40 percent of the team's possessions in the hands of a 36-year-old lunatic with more basketball on his physiological odometer than virtually any living person; having Carlos Boozer do pretty much anything on a basketball court other than walk off it) for reasons that square to absolutely no degree with the basketball culture's prevailing notions of rationality and efficiency. And to have the team doing that be the Lakers, of all the teams, and to have its star be Kobe Bryant, of all the stars, with God and the world and Jack Nicholson watching. The absurdity of it. The beautiful doomed insanity of it. It is—was?—almost everything I like best about humanity. The Lakers are the way they are because of the people they are, and no one else can be them, and that's the best thing to watch on TV.

    Well, they've won two games in a row now. First over the terminally dreary Hawks, which also makes sense, because the Hawks are the quiet organic chemistry textbook library where fun things go to die. If the Hawks played a seven-game series against Satan and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse with the fate of the universe in the balance, it'd get shunted over to NBA TV to make room on TNT for reruns of Bones, and rightly so. Of course the Hawks lost to the Lakers. They are basketball soundproofing. Their job is to produce whichever outcome makes you change the channel.

    And then, last night, the Lakers took down the Rockets, who were without Dwight Howard and any idea what the they are doing. And this—Dwight Howard rendering the Lakers less enjoyable—also makes sense. It's what he did the entire year he was a Laker, after all.

    Yeah, too much makes sense around the Lakers, now. They are not a Looney Tunes cartoon come to life anymore. Now they're just a basketball team that sucks. They're 3-9, better by winning percentage than the Sixers, Thunder, and Knicks. They've transitioned from a team that will find a way to lose even when its opponent plays like to a team that will do the rational thing and accept a victory when offered one. That's boring. Booooooooo.

    On the other hand, at this rate, they might just piss away their lottery pick, consigning themselves to another year of pretty much exactly this, only with an even older and more insane Kobe Bryant. That would be ridiculous as ! I could talk myself into that.
    Damn, beautiful words, tbh..I love fans and media that appreciate the growth of the game..

    Who wrote this?..

  12. #62
    My Cousin Kobe Medvedenko's Avatar
    My Team
    Los Angeles Lakers
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    5,521
    Damn, beautiful words, tbh..I love fans and media that appreciate the growth of the game..

    Who wrote this?..
    Smush Parker

  13. #63
    Believe. Malik Hairston's Avatar
    My Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    Post Count
    11,370
    Honestly, the difference between current Kobe and 1998 Dad Killer isn't substantial IMO..

    If you replace Kobe with 1998 DK in today's era with the advanced level of play, and put him on a team with one of the worst coaches and supporting casts in the league, I don't think the Lakers would have a better record than 3-9..

    If you put Kobe on the '98 Bulls with Phil, Scottie and Dennis, in the slow-paced, antiquated era of basketball, Bulls still win that championship IMO..

  14. #64
    notthewordsofonewhokneels Thread's Avatar
    My Team
    Los Angeles Lakers
    Post Count
    91,195
    ..that 25-5-5 on the Achilles that made Daddy take up the rocking chair is a real kick in the teeth, eh?

    tee, hee.

  15. #65
    Drive for Five! ambchang's Avatar
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    San Antonio Spurs
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    ^ Malik Hairston. That is way too obvious of a troll job.

  16. #66
    notthewordsofonewhokneels Thread's Avatar
    My Team
    Los Angeles Lakers
    Post Count
    91,195
    He's gonna run MJ to ground then take off after the other two. The only way you'll stop him is to black ball him like they black balled Dave Kingman.

  17. #67
    Grab 'em by the pussy Splits's Avatar
    My Team
    San Antonio Spurs
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    Damn, beautiful words, tbh..I love fans and media that appreciate the growth of the game..

    Who wrote this?..
    http://albertburneko.kinja.com/

    He's awesome.

  18. #68
    Drive for Five! ambchang's Avatar
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    San Antonio Spurs
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    Not even swaggy MVP can save this steaming pile of crap.

  19. #69
    Drive for Five! ambchang's Avatar
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    Swaggy P is back. First the buzzer beater vs. the Spurs, then leading the team to another victory over the Wolves.

    The Lakers won 3 in a row people, 3 in a row. Including a win over the defending champs, and you are telling me this roster doesn't have the talent to win 35+ games this year?

    The Lakers are 7-7 in the last 14 games with Swaggy P, and only 1-9 without him.

    The results don't lie y'all. SwaggyMVP is the real deal.

    Respect.

  20. #70
    Veteran Killakobe81's Avatar
    My Team
    Los Angeles Lakers
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    36,594
    Swaggy P is back. First the buzzer beater vs. the Spurs, then leading the team to another victory over the Wolves.

    The Lakers won 3 in a row people, 3 in a row. Including a win over the defending champs, and you are telling me this roster doesn't have the talent to win 35+ games this year?

    The Lakers are 7-7 in the last 14 games with Swaggy P, and only 1-9 without him.

    The results don't lie y'all. SwaggyMVP is the real deal.

    Respect.
    Lol leading a win over Wolves ... Boozer's sorry a$$ was probably the most effective player (hate to admit it) ...but I am sure some advanced metric, your hate will tell some other story.

  21. #71
    Bosshog in the cut djohn2oo8's Avatar
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    Houston Rockets
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    38,236
    Lol leading a win over Wolves ... Boozer's sorry a$$ was probably the most effective player (hate to admit it) ...but I am sure some advanced metric, your hate will tell some other story.
    Lakers aren't bottom 5 bad.

  22. #72
    Veteran Killakobe81's Avatar
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    Los Angeles Lakers
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    Lakers aren't bottom 5 bad.
    When healthy absolutely not because teams are worse not because the Lakers are good or even 35 win good. Amb is smoking dat ..don't patronize him. We may not be as bad as Harlem says but we are closer to that than to what Amb thinks we would be with more "sharing".

  23. #73
    notthewordsofonewhokneels Thread's Avatar
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    Los Angeles Lakers
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    91,195
    ^There is certainly a lot of bottoms to feed on. I like a good bottom. It's all moist and gooey, smells vaguely like a train compartment, like . Just grovel in it for about a week, maybe a week and a half.

    CHARGE!!!!!!

  24. #74
    Drive for Five! ambchang's Avatar
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    San Antonio Spurs
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    Lol leading a win over Wolves ... Boozer's sorry a$$ was probably the most effective player (hate to admit it) ...but I am sure some advanced metric, your hate will tell some other story.
    When Kobe is leading the team to missed playoffs and first round exits, you would hail him as some kind of hero and absolve him of any blame.


    Now SwaggyMVP is leading the Lakers to a respectable record, you go and minimize his contributions and try to reduce his significance.

    I don't get you Killa, here is a player who, despite the dire situation the Lakers are in, go out and produce, go out and play, leading the Lakers to a .500 record, a Lakers team that was only .100 without him. Put that in perspective, he is turning an 8-win team (worse than the 9-73 Sixers) to a 41-41 team (borderline playoff team), and you are ragging on him? I thought you are a Lakers fan!

  25. #75
    Drive for Five! ambchang's Avatar
    My Team
    San Antonio Spurs
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    When healthy absolutely not because teams are worse not because the Lakers are good or even 35 win good. Amb is smoking dat ..don't patronize him. We may not be as bad as Harlem says but we are closer to that than to what Amb thinks we would be with more "sharing".
    Even in the current situation, I'd take the Lakers roster without Kobe over:
    Wolves
    6ers
    Pistons
    Knicks
    Pacers
    Boston
    Hornets
    Jazz
    Nuggets
    Kings (with Cousins injured, but not when Cousins is back)
    Magic

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