I can't imagine every calling my Mom a . Although I have done the standard teen "I hate you/slam the door thing". Now my daughter does that. I just laugh and say "I love you , too".
Our latest punishment for her when she gets high & mighty is that we make her wait on us. Last week she had to wait on my husband for 3 days and me for 4 days. She had to pick up after us and everything. I would call her hon her phone and make her come in my room just to throw something in the trash for me or turn on my bedside light.Then I would wait until she got upstairs and call her back down to come and bring me a bottle of water. It was fun. I kinda liked having a slave. I can't wait until she talking like a smart ass again.
...2Blonde
I don't CUSS AT HER. Only in critical moments. Like
OHH GINOBILI WHY DIDN"T YOU SHOOT IT AND
ING DUNCAN START DUNKING ON PEOPLE.
or like when I'm playing video games and I die or lose, I'm like OH THAT
If I fight with my Mom well I'd get beat, seriously.
My mom once hit me in the head with an iron skillet for not getting off the phone when i was suppose to.
It was just that once.
Oh man i called my sister a and i got an ass whoopin' and i was 20 at the time
I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but I honestly don't think step-parents should do things like that. It has to be very difficult for a small child to adapt to a new parent, soap in the mouth by the step would hurt much more than help IMO and is possibly psychologically abusive. Sorry, that's my honest opinion. I do recall getting soap in the mouth by my mother when I was that age and it was very demeaning. If it came from a step parent, it would have been worse.
Why? Have you ever been in that situation? I've had to be the mom & dad for many years....and in having to be both good & bad cop sometimes it's hard to get the respect that you should from your children. It's been a relief to have help in that department, they like & respect him and they listen to him. Not that it's perfect by any stretch, but their behavior has never been better.
I think it's very demeaning for these kids to walk around like little assholes abusing the step-parent and expect that parent to just put up with it because they don't have a blood relation. Most step-parents I know are more of a parent to those children then the ones whose names are on their birth certificate.
Wash with soap wtf? When I answerd back to my mom in a mean way SLAP. A backhand slap right to the mouth, damn rings......
Man, when I mouthed off to my parents they made me sit naked in a corner and play with myself while they took videos. If I had friends with me, they suffered the same fate.
Funny thing, I've never seen those videos. Oh well, I learnt my lessons.
My mother is Mrs. Grammar USA and it used to piss her off royally when I would use incorrect grammar on purpose. When I was about 14-15 and in my "I hate Mom" stage she stabbed me in the arm with a fork for using a double negative. She drew blood too!
If I look closely, I'm sure I can find the prong marks.
Soap in the mouth demeaning? Puh-lease!
Calling your kid a stupid idiot that will never amount to anything and never praising them is demeaning.
I know what you mean man, I feel your pain.
I'm sure it is extremely difficult raising a child on your own. But still, all we know is that the child was only 5 or 6 and that she told a lie. All kids tell lies and I don't think that is something that should get your mouth washed out with soap. We don't know that the little girl was being an asshole and I have a hard time imagining that a 5 year old girl could really be an asshole or abusive to the step-parent. The thing is if she had to deal with a divorce and a new parent at such a young age, then she was probably having to work with a lot of adjustment and iden y issues. I think kids in these situations should be given some la ude and their new step-parents should focus more on showing love and understanding than administering harsh discipline.
Yeah, I think soap in the mouth (especially for some small infraction...I got it and I never used bad language, I can't even remember what I did) is demeaning IMO and usually not necessary. Calling your child a stupid idiot etc. etc. is emotional abuse.
Please tell me this is a joke. It's just that I know stuff like this happens somewhere and people think it's normal.
5 year olds can be the biggest assholes on the planet. And there is ZERO excuse for it. Get counciling if they need it, but it's NEVER okay to let them take it out on someone else. And it's certainly not okay to judge others on how they discipline their children if it is obviously non-threatening. Soap in the mouth is harmless and extremely effective because they can make the connection rather easily....you have a dirty mouth and we need to wash it out.
That no-handed approach to raising children is exactly the reason for the topic of this thread. I'm sorry, but my parents never had any problems administering the belt when we messed up and I don't need therapy, I wasn't an abused child, and I have a healthy respect for authority figures. All of this PC crap is nothing but bull ...they are turning out nothing but a bunch of spoiled brats. Cussing at your teacher and implimenting rules to perpetuate it? Give me a break.
It all begins at home.
, I've had soap in the mouth as a kid. I also had to stand at attention a lot. And I've been spanked. Never once have I felt years later as an adult that this was demeaning. I'm sure I deserved it as I was a very stubborn child.
Jelly, if this still bothers you years later as an adult, with all due respect, it sounds like you have some unresolved childhood issues.
Jelly,
I have seen many 5 and 4 years old that are rude and disrespectful. , I've even seen some 3 year olds.
If you want the step parent to be part of that family and part of those childrens lives, then you better let them discipline too.
Spurswoman,
I'm not judging, but I am voicing an opinion. And I don't think I have overstepped my bounds in anything I've said so far. I did not bring this up in an accusatory or judgmental way. I simply said..
"I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but I honestly don't think step-parents should do things like that."
And that's how I honestly feel.
Last edited by Jelly; 08-29-2005 at 07:14 PM.
I was spanked and disciplined and I too don't need therapy.
That being said I've only spanked my girls a few times because that is all I've had to.
Use what ever method works for you or which method you are more comfortable with.
IMO, The "F" word does not belong in school.
My sister wrote "Mom is a " on these ugly ass clogs she had (it was the '70s!). Forgetting that she wrote that, she asked my mom a few years later if she wanted them. When my mom turned the bottom of the clogs over, there it wasQuote:
Originally Posted by 2Blonde
I can't imagine every calling my Mom a .
It was just that once.
Agree. My kids only get spanked when they've done something really bad. Like when my oldest at 5 years old pushed his 2-1/2 brother down the stairs and hurt him very badly.
They haven't been spanked in years. My youngest suffers the wrath of his older brother more than any punishiment I could give out.
Yeah, but with all of the lawyers and bull nowadays, this might be considered "child abuse."Children in my house that use the "F" word get a mouth full of Soft Soap.
It doesn't happen very often anymore....you think there might be a connection?
And your 5-year-old could legally "sue" you for it.
Jelly,
Since it's my husband's step-parenting skills you are questioning then I guess I should respond. In the early days of our marriage he only disciplined her with my okay and when I was present. She knew I was part of the process. There was nothing demeaning about it. She had been given several warnings about telling the truth and time-outs and taking aways toys didn't work (she was very stubborn). My husband was very matter of fact with her about why we were doing this. She stopped lying after that and she still thinks he's the coolest dad in the world. In fact she wishes he could adopt her. He has never demeaned in her entire life. If anything, any discipline he has asked to give her has been to teach her right from wrong so she will grow up to be a strong person who makes good choices and feels good about herself.
...2Blonde
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