post a joke

[hussker]

There was an Aggie, a Longhorn, and a Bug Eater. They attempted to rob a bank but got caught. They went to court and were sentenced to the electric chair.

The guys operating it told them that if they survived they were free to go. The Longhorn went first. They asked him if he had any last words to say. He told them no. He pressed the button and nothing happened so he was free to go.

The bug eater went next. They asked him if he had any last words to say. He said no and pressed the button. Nothing happened and he was free to go.

The Aggie went next. They asked him if he had any last words.

"I think if you plug the chair in it will work better

Thanks for sparing me and my alma mater bling!

[spurs=bling]

Thanks for sparing me and my alma mater bling!

[spurs=bling]

this is one i found on ebaumsworld
on the way to prison
Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to take one item with them to help them occupy their time while incarcerated.

On the bus, one turned to another and said, "So, what did you bring?"

The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that he intended to paint anything he could. He wanted to become the "Grandma Moses of Jail."

Then he asked the first, "What did you bring?"

The first convict pulled out a deck of cards and grinned and said, "I brought cards. I can play poker, solitaire, gin, and any number of games."

The third convict was sitting quietly aside, grinning to himself. The other two took notice and asked, "Why are you so smug? What did you bring?"

The guy pulled out a box of tampons and smiled. He said, "I brought these."

The other two were puzzled and asked, "What can you do with those?"

He grinned and pointed to the box and said, "Well according to the box, I can go horseback riding, swimming, roller-skating...."

i had heard that already

[hussker]

How do you make Aggie Cookies?






















































Put them in a big bowl and beat them for three hours! (hey, my wife is an Ag...she hates that joke!) reference the Cotton Bowl last yr

[spurs=bling]

How do you make Aggie Cookies?






















































Put them in a big bowl and beat them for three hours! (hey, my wife is an Ag...she hates that joke!) reference the Cotton Bowl last yr

[NZHayden]

how many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
2, but i dont no how they got in there

[batman2883]

101 Ways To Annoy People
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
.

I dont like this remark so slow your role son

[Master Shake]

guy walks in to a bar...notices a barrel full of money, which read: Money is yours if your up for the task.

guy ask bartender,

"how do i get that money?" bartender says, well you have to drink this whole bottle of tequilla without making a face. Next.....go out back look for the pitbull with a bad tooth ache and yank that tooth out for him.....finally on the second floor...theres an old lady who hasent been humped in ages........Show her a good time. After all that is done.....come claim your money.


guy says....ok...i will do it

so he starts drinking the bottle......and doesnt make a face....stumbbling and staggering, and highly intoxicated...man then walks outback.
for a minute there was only barking...then the you hear the dog yelping and crying....rumbling in the back windows breaking.....

after 20 minutes of that all they heard was silence

everyone thought the man was dead untill he walked in and said drunkenly

"Now where is that old lady with the bad tooth?"

[spurs=bling]

I dont like this remark so slow your role son

[spurs=bling]

67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."


hey bat these are for you ^

[mookie2001]

Nick Cannon, Kayne West and Eminem walk into a bar...

[TOP-CHERRY]

sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells"

"... robin layed an egg."

[tlongII]

T Park

[mookie2001]

^LOL

tlongs net worth...

[TOP-CHERRY]

T Park

[NZHayden]

Travelling through an unfamiliar city, Bruce and Blue decided to split up and do a bit of exploring. When they met later that evening, Bruce was driving a gleaming white Porsche. 'Wow!' said Blue, 'where'd you get that?' 'Well,' said Bruce, 'I was walking through the town, having a bit of a look around, when this car pulled up, and this gorgeous blonde offered to show me the countryside. We drove for a bit, and then we pulled over to a secluded spot, and she took a picnic basket from the back of the car, and we had a fabulous lunch. Then she took off all her clothes, lay back on the blanket and told me to take whatever I wanted. So I took the car.'

'Too right!' said Blue. 'You'd have looked pretty silly in her clothes!'

[spurs=bling]

Travelling through an unfamiliar city, Bruce and Blue decided to split up and do a bit of exploring. When they met later that evening, Bruce was driving a gleaming white Porsche. 'Wow!' said Blue, 'where'd you get that?' 'Well,' said Bruce, 'I was walking through the town, having a bit of a look around, when this car pulled up, and this gorgeous blonde offered to show me the countryside. We drove for a bit, and then we pulled over to a secluded spot, and she took a picnic basket from the back of the car, and we had a fabulous lunch. Then she took off all her clothes, lay back on the blanket and told me to take whatever I wanted. So I took the car.'

'Too right!' said Blue. 'You'd have looked pretty silly in her clothes!'

[Horry For 3!]

What does Michael Jackson & Santa Claus have in common?

















They both leave the kid's room with an empty sack.

[spurs=bling]

What does Michael Jackson & Santa Claus have in common?

















They both leave the kid's room with an empty sack.

[NZHayden]

that was pretty good horry4,3

[Horry For 3!]

that was pretty good horry4,3

Yes, it is one of my favorite jokes.

[sa_butta]

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

umbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?

Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!'

I'm like... oooooo ??? It's only 25 cents!!!!

[2centsworth]

guy walks in to a bar...notices a barrel full of money, which read: Money is yours if your up for the task.

guy ask bartender,

"how do i get that money?" bartender says, well you have to drink this whole bottle of tequilla without making a face. Next.....go out back look for the pitbull with a bad tooth ache and yank that tooth out for him.....finally on the second floor...theres an old lady who hasent been humped in ages........Show her a good time. After all that is done.....come claim your money.


guy says....ok...i will do it

so he starts drinking the bottle......and doesnt make a face....stumbbling and staggering, and highly intoxicated...man then walks outback.
for a minute there was only barking...then the you hear the dog yelping and crying....rumbling in the back windows breaking.....

after 20 minutes of that all they heard was silence

everyone thought the man was dead untill he walked in and said drunkenly

"Now where is that old lady with the bad tooth?"

that was funny. Here's one.


A guy who died was standing at the pearly gates and Saint Peter asked him what the guy had done in his life to deserve entrance in to heaven?

The guy responded that he once saw a gang of bikers harrassing a woman and went up to the lead biker and thumped him in the head. He then told the gang if anyone wanted a piece of the woman they would have to go through him first.

Saint Peter was very impressed and asked the they guy when the incident occurred? The guy responded just a couple of minutes ago.

[angel_luv]

Why is Europe like a frying pan?















Because it has Greece on the bottom. =)

[2centsworth]

One more...

There was this nerdy guy who had a hard time picking-up women. The guy dressed liked crap and had no game whatsoever. He decided to ask a well liked life guard for advice. The life guard told him to buy a speedo two sizes too small, stuff a potato in his speedo and walk around the beach. The guy followed the life guards instructions and walked around the beach, but he noticed how everyone was repulsed by the guy. Women were closing their eyes, children's eyes were covered, and he even saw someone vommit.

The guy was disappointed and went back straight to the life guard and told the life guard his advice didn't work. The life guard with a look of horror told the guy he was suppossed to stuff the potato in the front of his swim trunks.