She said Yes.....

[easjer]

Just tell her to avoid theknot.com and other such planning sites. At least the chat boards. They can be awful, and it's amazing what you don't need before visiting such sites.

FYI - best book/wedding planning resource we had for our wedding was the book Bridal Bargains - details a lot of the scams of the wedding industry, how to avoid them, how to find good deals. Worth it's weight in gold. Even if you aren't on a budget like we were, you don't want to get ripped off on the deal. I loved wedding planning - my mom and I did a lot together.

[easjer]

Not only is it kind to involve the families, I think it is smart.
No matter how great your marriage, there will be times everyone needs extra support and encouragement. No sense in alienating the people most inclined to help you.

Angel, you are making the assumption the families want to be included and want to help, which is not always the case. I think it's great that Danyo and Danyo's fiance have such supportive and involved families, but that's not the case for everyone.

My dad did not want to be asked for his permission - I brought it up once and he looked surprised and said I was a grown woman perfectly capable of making up my own mind.

And as for including SFIE's family - well, let's just say no one was shocked when they didn't attend our wedding.

[Mixability]

Just tell her to avoid theknot.com and other such planning sites. At least the chat boards. They can be awful, and it's amazing what you don't need before visiting such sites.

FYI - best book/wedding planning resource we had for our wedding was the book Bridal Bargains - details a lot of the scams of the wedding industry, how to avoid them, how to find good deals. Worth it's weight in gold. Even if you aren't on a budget like we were, you don't want to get ripped off on the deal. I loved wedding planning - my mom and I did a lot together.

whats wrong with theknot.com Are there nasty trolls on the bride forums too?

Bridal Bargains.... hmm, link?

[SpursWoman]

whats wrong with theknot.com Are there nasty trolls on the bride forums too?

Bridal Bargains.... hmm, link?

Bridezillas from .

I like the idea of a guy asking the parents permisssion

I think that must be someoneIknow's hold up. He's waiting on my parents' blessing.

[easjer]

Yes, there are. But in general, worked up brides and bridezillas can be a nasty bunch. The other parts of the site can be pretty helpful (especially Q&A) and give good tips. But I also think they tend to be a bit too commercial - save the dates are *nice* but not necessary. You don't have to buy a designer, special order gown for $7000 to have a beautiful wedding dress. Despite how it may seem to an anxious bride (and I totally cared about this ), no one really cares too much about the centerpieces or aisle runner and whether you used brick red or terracotta red for the ribbons. I think theknot can exacerbate worry over the small details. But there is helpful advice.

Hang on and I'll go find a link to the book.

[Mixability]

nah, she's stayed away from the chat areas on theknot.com, but the calendar is very helpful, so we don't forget anything.

[easjer]

http://www.windsorpeak.com/bridalbargains/default.html

There's the link.

One of the best tips I got was for my wedding dress - they do a listing/ranking of designers and how they measure up on quality, cost, originality, etc. They gave Eden Bridal a great ranking and I ordered from them. But instead of going through a salon, I went through Netbride.com (online retailer, but very reputable, have a physical store in MN) and got it for half the cost of what I was quoted at the salon. That was a great deal.

[easjer]

Yeah, the calendar was good. I enjoyed seeing it change to 1 day then 0 days (but we'd been planning forever, so it was great to watch it go under a year. also, I'm easily entertained).

What I learned from my wedding experience is that if you try hard to have a lovely wedding, and you put effort into it and include the people who care about you, and try hard to make a ceremony that is meaningful to you and a party that is fun for your guests, your wedding will be more stress free and enjoyable and become a really great memory for everyone.

[Mixability]

thanks for the link easjer.

I'm looking to just hire someone to do the planning and coordinating just so we only have to worry about showing up at the wedding and "doing" the honeymoon.

[easjer]

One final tip - which it appears will not be a problem from what you've already posted - go away for the HM. We didn't, and I don't regret that we got to spend extra time with people we don't often see who had travelled a long way for the wedding, but we got NO sleep (and not in the good way). And there was always someone else to visit with. And my mom wanted to take us to lunch. And my dad wanted to show us the DVD he'd made of the wedding. It was not restful at all - it was exhausting!

[angel_luv]

Angel, you are making the assumption the families want to be included and want to help, which is not always the case. I think it's great that Danyo and Danyo's fiance have such supportive and involved families, but that's not the case for everyone.

My dad did not want to be asked for his permission - I brought it up once and he looked surprised and said I was a grown woman perfectly capable of making up my own mind.

And as for including SFIE's family - well, let's just say no one was shocked when they didn't attend our wedding.

That makes sense.

For what it is worth, I think you and SFIE were very fortunate in love.

[CosmicCowboy]

Oh yeah, the details......

It was our anniversary on Monday, she was expecting a fancy dinner. I had dropped fake hints by mentioning we should go to the Tower or downtown, etc. All the while, I had a private theatre rented out to play her favorite movie, Pretty Woman, which she was too young to see when it was first run in theatres. So I drove around in circles to confuse her, but finally I took her to the theatre.

After the movie, the credits rolled, as we got up to leave, the projectionist faded in a personal slideshow that I had made synced up to a song I had picked out. It highligted our relationship together along with pictures of our son. At the end of the slideshow, the question was popped. When she accepted my proposal, I told her to turn around and show the ring to our Moms. She was surprised to find out that they were there too to share the moment.

Yeah, mushy, I know.

Forgive me guys.

how sweeeeeeet! you are soooooo screwed now. She is gonna expect that kind of on every anniversary now...LOL

[1369]

Danyo, one piece of advice, take a day off before you leave for the honeymoon. You're going to be exhausted from the wedding, so give yourself a day to sleep in before you have to be at the airport to leave.

[desflood]

Congrats Danyo! Don't say we didn't warn you

[Kori Ellis]

Danyo - Are you getting married here in town? I will find the name of our florist for you. They were simply awesome. They had hydrangeas flown in, dyed certain flowers how I wanted them, etc. (And they aren't crazy expensive)

[tlongII]

Danyo,

I know some good divorce attorneys if you need one. Just sayin...

[Mixability]

One final tip - which it appears will not be a problem from what you've already posted - go away for the HM. We didn't, and I don't regret that we got to spend extra time with people we don't often see who had travelled a long way for the wedding, but we got NO sleep (and not in the good way). And there was always someone else to visit with. And my mom wanted to take us to lunch. And my dad wanted to show us the DVD he'd made of the wedding. It was not restful at all - it was exhausting!

I will NOT be staying in town, much less in the country for that matter. I want to be away with my bride. As long as I have the private beach and soundproof walls for us, we're set.

[Mixability]

Danyo, one piece of advice, take a day off before you leave for the honeymoon. You're going to be exhausted from the wedding, so give yourself a day to sleep in before you have to be at the airport to leave.

I'm hoping to rest on the plane, because I want to go directly to the airport after the reception. I'm gonna feel horrible leaving our son, but I also don't want to hear him asking, "are you hurting mommy?" every morning.

[Mixability]

Danyo - Are you getting married here in town? I will find the name of our florist for you. They were simply awesome. They had hydrangeas flown in, dyed certain flowers how I wanted them, etc. (And they aren't crazy expensive)

Yup, we'll be here in town. Everything is still in the early stages, but the info would be good to have for later. Thanks.

[ATX Spur]

Congrats, amigo!

[Kori Ellis]

Yup, we'll be here in town. Everything is still in the early stages, but the info would be good to have for later. Thanks.

Just FYI, if you are getting married in a year or so, you probably have to book a reception place within the next couple months. Some places in S.A. are booked 12-18 months in advance.

[Mixability]

Just FYI, if you are getting married in a year or so, you probably have to book a reception place within the next couple months. Some places in S.A. are booked 12-18 months in advance.

We have connections with the place we want, so luckily for us, we're done with that. But any and all advice would be good.

[2Blonde]

I think the modern day tradition is more about asking for the blessing (not necessarily permission) from the head of the household of bride-to-be which is usually the father. I believe it's simply a matter of respect. Kind of like showing that the man your daughter is marrying is the sort of person who would open doors for women and pull out the chair for them in a restaurant. Wouldn't you want the man who wants to marry your daughter to show you that he cherishes your daughter enough to stand in front of you and state his intentions and ask for your blessings?

[kobe_bryant]

weak

[Mixability]

I think the modern day tradition is more about asking for the blessing (not necessarily permission) from the head of the household of bride-to-be which is usually the father. I believe it's simply a matter of respect. Kind of like showing that the man your daughter is marrying is the sort of person who would open doors for women and pull out the chair for them in a restaurant. Wouldn't you want the man who wants to marry your daughter to show you that he cherishes your daughter enough to stand in front of you and state his intentions and ask for your blessings?

exactly why I asked.