Tim's timbre falls flat as monotone
By Mark Kiszla
Denver Post Staff Columnist
Article Last Updated: 04/20/2007 01:54:53 AM MDT
Which is a tougher task: defeating the San Antonio Spurs in a first-round series or getting Tim Duncan to show some emotion - any emotion? (NBAE, Getty / Chris Birck)Does Mr. Robot Face ever crack?
There's no face like it in the NBA.
Tim Duncan wears a mask devoid of emotion. Is there any superstar athlete in America more technically brilliant, sterilely detached and downright boring?
The San Antonio Spurs have all the personality of their marquee player.
Which is to say: None.
"He plays with no face," Nuggets forward Nene said Thursday, wiping a hand in front of his mug and erasing all trace of human expression, doing his best imitation of the inscrutable, unflappable Duncan.
Underneath the basket, Duncan is as solid as a statue, cooler than marble, with a heart of stone.
"Yeah," Nene said. "There's no anger, no frustration, no anything. He plays like a robot. He has the robot face."
Duncan is Mr. Robot Face.
Can the Nuggets get him to crack?
Or will Duncan, whose uniform number should rightfully be R2-D2 rather than 21, systematically bland the Nuggets to death?
While dispassionately producing 21.8 points, 11.9 rebounds and 6.2 yawns per game for a decade, nobody has put the NBA in a sleeper hold the way Duncan can. He has elevated boring to an art form.
"We have a team that thinks we can beat them," said coach George Karl, whose Nuggets open a best-of-seven series in San Antonio on Sunday. His reasons for optimism are as undeniable as a Carmelo Anthony drive to the rim and as sublime as the crossover dribble of Allen Iverson.
Denver, however, has not yet earned the right to be taken seriously as a championship contender. Three straight trips to the playoffs have ended with a thud. Try as the Nuggets might to talk a good game, this series does not truly begin until they get a reaction out of Duncan.
Denver must coax a little frustration from Mr. Robot's face, make Duncan sweat. The Nuggets must prove that at age 30, Duncan is fallible, maybe even almost human.
He has been called the Big Fundamental for the most laudable of reasons. But there is very little about Duncan that is fun.
Although truly admirable for putting his art above the bombast that defines so many sports heroes of the 21st century, is there anybody else out there who agrees that Duncan's art most closely resembles ballet? Puts me to sleep before intermission every time.
"I'm a big fan of Tim Duncan outside the court. But on the court, I don't know who he is," said Nene, a 24-year-old power forward who gladly steals every move and attribute he can from basketball's dullest leading man, named the league's MVP in 2002 and 2003.
"You never know what is going on inside Tim Duncan's head. Whether he misses a shot or makes it, you don't know what he is thinking. He is very smart," Nene said.
Although the Spurs play basketball the right way, they are about as tasty as the right things to eat. Tell the truth, nobody wants to see them in the NBA Finals. Not you. Not me. Certainly not ABC-TV.
While the excellence of Duncan remains as reliable as his bank shot and Gregg Popovich might be the most underrated basketball coach on the planet, if you talk to the Nuggets privately, they look at Bruce Bowen, Michael Finley and Robert Horry, all old enough to have fought at the Alamo, and wonder if all those proud veterans in San Antonio's black uniforms might be showing the gray of vulnerability.
Let Duncan play catch and shoot on the low block, while intimidating the referees with his Marvin the Paranoid Android act, and the Nuggets might as well not show up.
Denver, however, is not scared.
"I've never been intimidated by nobody," Nene said.
So the Nuggets could start by irritating Mr. Robot Face. Ask Duncan to show them his Olympic bronze medal. Whisper the name of referee Joey Crawford in his ear. Anything.
Duncan tries to stare through you with impenetrable eyes for a reason.
Underneath that tough exterior, Mr. Robot Face is soft.
Staff writer Mark Kiszla can be reached at 303-954-1053 or
[email protected].
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