Favorite Movie Lines

[O-Factor]

The opening is awesome

Ash: My name is Ash and I am a slave. As far as I can tell, the year is 1300 A.D and I'm being dragged to my death. It wasn't always like this, I had a normal life, once.
Ash: [now Ash is in a flashback] Hardware aisle twelve, shop smart, shop S-Mart!
Ash: [back to monologue] I had a beautiful girlfriend named Linda. We decided to spend a weekend at an abandoned cabin in the woods. While there we found a book, Necronomiconexmortis, roughly translated, the Book of the Dead. Inked in human blood and bound in human flesh it was never meant for the world of the living. The book awoke something in the woods, something evil.
[something crashes through the window of the cabin and Linda screams]
Ash: It took Linda. Then it came after me, it got into my hand and it went bad, so I lopped it off at the wrist.
[Ash is seen cutting off his hand]
Ash: But that didn't stop it, it came back for more.

LOL, I had forgotten about the beginning

[ATRAIN]

i was plumb surprised.

finkleman.

hahahaha He was a fat asshole, but he was MY fat asshole hahahahah

[O-Factor]

"Yo, Adrian!"

Rocky

[Avitus1]

Army of Darkness is filled to the rim with great lines...

Ash: Ok you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?

[ATRAIN]

"Yo, Adrian!"

Rocky

you!!!

[samikeyp]

"Bond...James Bond"

"Neccessary? Is it neccessary that I drink my own urine? No but I do anyway because its sterile and I like the taste"
--Dodgeball

"San Di-ago..which is German for "whale's vagina"--Anchorman

Animal House:
Bluto--"Over? Did you say over? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? NO!"
Otter--"Germans?"
Boon--"Forget it, he's rolling"

Caddyshack:
"Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac... It's in the hole! It's in the hole! It's in the hole!"

"Big hitter, the Lama"

Blues Brothers:
"It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses. "

"We're on a mission from God"

[MoSpur]

Ron Burgundy: Mmmm... I look good. I mean really good. Hey everyone... come and see how good I look.

Anchor Man

[ATRAIN]

If your not first, your last!!!

Rick Bobby

[O-Factor]

"Sweep the leg."

The Karate Kid

[CuckingFunt]

"So, you are obviously the big . The men on the side of ya are your balls. There are two types of balls. There are big brave balls, and there are little mincey got balls. Now, s have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two small mincey got balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties mangled up. There's no pussy here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with you. And the fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your gun. And the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O written down the side of mine should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... off! "

Bullet-Tooth Tony
Snatch

This would have been one of mine, but since you already typed it all out I ain't gonna.

[CuckingFunt]

"Well, I'm a mushroom-cloud-layin' mother er, mother er! Every time my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly T.N.T., I'm the Guns of the Navarone! IN FACT, WHAT THE AM I DOIN' IN THE BACK? YOU'RE THE MOTHER ER WHO SHOULD BE ON BRAIN DETAIL! We're in' switchin'! I'm washin' the windows, and you're pickin' up this ######'s skull!"

- Jules (Pulp Fiction)

Damn, another one.

My fingers thank you.

[O-Factor]

"Kids don't buy drugs....become a rockstar and they give them to you for free!"

Love Actually

[O-Factor]

"The price is wrong, !"

Happy Gillmore

[CuckingFunt]

Clifford Worley: You're Sicilian, huh?
Coccotti: Yeah, Sicilian.
Clifford Worley: Ya know, I read a lot. Especially about things... about history. I find that fascinating. Here's a fact I don't know whether you know or not. Sicilians were spawned by ######s.
Coccotti: Come again?
Clifford Worley: It's a fact. Yeah. You see, uh, Sicilians have, uh, black blood pumpin' through their hearts. Hey, no, if eh, if eh, if you don't believe me, uh, you can look it up. Hundreds and hundreds of years ago, uh, you see, uh, the Moors conquered Sicily. And the Moors are ######s.
Coccotti: Yes...
Clifford Worley: So you see, way back then, uh, Sicilians were like, uh, wops from Northern Italy. Ah, they all had blonde hair and blue eyes, but, uh, well, then the Moors moved in there, and uh, well, they changed the whole country. They did so much in' with Sicilian women, huh? That they changed the whole bloodline forever. That's why blonde hair and blue eyes became black hair and dark skin. You know, it's absolutely amazing to me to think that to this day, hundreds of years later, that, uh, that Sicilians still carry that ###### gene. Now this...
[Coccotti busts out laughing]
Clifford Worley: No, I'm, no, I'm quoting... history. It's written. It's a fact, it's written.
Coccotti: [Laughing] I love this guy.
Clifford Worley: Your ancestors are ######s. Uh-huh.
[Starts laughing, too]
Clifford Worley: Hey. Yeah. And, and your great-great-great-great grandmother ed a ######, ho, ho, yeah, and she had a half-###### kid... now, if that's a fact, tell me, am I lying? 'Cause you, you're part eggplant.
[All laugh]

-True Romance

Aaaaaaand another one.

True Romance is one of my favorite Tarantino scripts, and it saddens me that it had to be directed by a hack like Tony Scott.

[ATRAIN]

Snatch has sooo many lines too........


Whats happening with those sausages Charlie??

2 Minutes Turkish!!

It was 2 Minutes 5 minutes ago!!

[ATRAIN]

"Kids don't buy drugs....become a rockstar and they give them to you for free!"

Love Actually

lol I HATE UNCLE JAMIE!!!

[O-Factor]

Cameron: Why'd you kick me?
Ferris: Where's your brain?
Cameron: Why'd you kick me?
Ferris: Where's your brain?
Cameron: Why'd you kick me?
Ferris: Where's your brain?
Cameron: I asked you first.
Ferris: How can we pick up Sloane if Rooney is there with her?
Cameron: I said for her to be there alone and you freaked.
Ferris: Now, I didn't hit you. I lightly slapped you.
Cameron: You hit me. Look don't make me participate in your stupid crap if you don't like the way I do it. You make me get out of bed, you make me come over here. You make me make a phony phone call to Edward Rooney? The man could squash my nuts into oblivion. And-and-and then, and then, you deliberately hurt my feelings"

Ferris Bueller

Lol, full of great ones in that movie

[MoSpur]

The Fast and the Furious is a movie w/the worst lines.

The Cop telling Brian - It's Toretto, Brian. It always has been Toretto. Tran and Hector are...they're just fumes.

[Avitus1]

The opening speech in Patton has been a fav of mine.

Patton: Now, I want you to remember that no bas ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bas die for his country. Men, all this stuff you’ve heard about America not wanting to fight, wanting to stay out of the war, is a lot of horse dung. Americans traditionally love to fight. All real Americans love the sting of battle. When you were kids, you all admired the champion marble shooter, the fastest runner, the big league ball player, the toughest boxer. Americans love a winner and will not tolerate a loser. Americans play to win all the time. I wouldn’t give a hoot in for a man who lost and laughed. That’s why Americans have never lost and will never lose a war. Because the very thought of losing is hateful to Americans.

Now, an Army is a team. It lives, eats, sleeps, fights as a team. This individuality stuff is a bunch of crap. The bilious bas s who wrote that stuff about individuality for the Saturday Evening Post don’t know anything more about real battle than they do about fornicating.

We have the finest food and equipment, the best spirit and the best men in the world. You know, by God I actually pity those poor bas s we’re going up against. By God, I do. We’re not just going to shoot the bas s, we’re going to cut out their living guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks. We’re going to murder those lousy Hun bas s by the bushel.

Now, some of you boys, I know, are wondering whether or not you'll chicken out under fire. Don't worry about it. I can assure you that you will all do your duty. The Nazis are the enemy. Wade into them. Spill their blood. Shoot them in the belly. When you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do.

Now there’s another thing I want you to remember. I don’t want to get any messages saying that we are holding our position. We’re not holding anything. Let the Hun do that. We are advancing constantly and we’re not interested in holding onto anything except the enemy. We're going to hold onto him by the nose and we're going to kick him in the ass. We're going to kick the out of him all the time and we're gonna go through him like crap through a goose.

There’s one thing that you men will be able to say when you get back home. And you may thank God for it. Thirty years from now when you’re sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee and he asks you what did you do in the great World War II, you won’t have to say, "Well, I shoveled in Louisiana."

Alright now, you sons-of- es, you know how I feel. Oh, and I will be proud to lead you wonderful guys into battle – anytime, anywhere.

That’s all.

George C. Scott
in
Patton

[CuckingFunt]

"Oh, George. Not the livestock!"
O Brother, Where Art Thou?

"Ernest Hemmingway once said that the world was a beautiful place and worth fighting for. I agree with the second part."
Se7en

I don't have the dialog in front of me, but Scorsese's monologue about the effect a .45 would have on a woman's pussy from Taxi Driver is both hilarious and disturbing.

And, since I've been reminded of True Romance, everything said in the scenes with Floyd (Brad Pitt) is ing brilliance.

[Spurminator]

Spottswoode: From what I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.N.C.E has gathered, it would be 9/11 times 100.
Gary Johnston: 9/11 times a hundred? Jesus, that's...
Spottswoode: Yes, 91,100.
Chris: Basically, all the worst parts of the bible.

Spottswoode: Team, this is all my fault. I was overzealous in Cairo. I let racism cloud my judgment. I was so sure the ultimate terrorist was Middle Eastern, but I didn't realize he was a goddamn Gook. I'll never be a racist again.

Kim Jong Il: It will be 911 times 2356.
Chris: My God, that's... I don't even know what that is!
Kim Jong Il: Nobody does!

Gary Johnston: I was just a boy when the infidels came to my village in their Blackhawk helicopters. The infidels fired at the oil fields and they lit up like the eyes of Allah. Burning oil rained down from the sky and cooked everything it touched. I could only hide myself and cry as my goats were consumed by the fiery black liquid death. In the midst of the chaos, I could swear that I heard my goats screaming for help. As quickly as they had come, the infidels were gone. It was on that day I put a jihad on them. And if you don't believe it, then you'd better kill me now, because I'll put a jihad on you, too.
Terrorist: I like you. You have balls. I like balls.

We're s! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid s. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't like s, because pussies get ed by s. But s also assholes: assholes that just want to on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can an asshole is a , with some balls. The problem with s is: they too much or when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us this asshole, we're going to have our s and pussies all covered in !

[ATRAIN]

Cameron: Why'd you kick me?
Ferris: Where's your brain?
Cameron: Why'd you kick me?
Ferris: Where's your brain?
Cameron: Why'd you kick me?
Ferris: Where's your brain?
Cameron: I asked you first.
Ferris: How can we pick up Sloane if Rooney is there with her?
Cameron: I said for her to be there alone and you freaked.
Ferris: Now, I didn't hit you. I lightly slapped you.
Cameron: You hit me. Look don't make me participate in your stupid crap if you don't like the way I do it. You make me get out of bed, you make me come over here. You make me make a phony phone call to Edward Rooney? The man could squash my nuts into oblivion. And-and-and then, and then, you deliberately hurt my feelings"

Ferris Bueller

Lol, full of great ones in that movie

Cameron is sooo tight that if you stick a lump of coal up his ass, in his week you have a diamond.

[O-Factor]

I do have a test today. that wasn't bull . It's on European socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not European. I don't plan on being European. So who cares if they're socialists? They could be fascist anarchists. It still doesn't change the fact that I don't own a car. Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, "I don't believe in The Beatles, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus. I'd still have to bum rides off people.

Ferris Bueller

[Avitus1]

Inigo Montoya: o. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father prepare to die.

Mandy Patinkin
in
The Princess Bride

[ATRAIN]

SPACEBALLLLLLLS!!!!



Dark Helmet: Careful you idiot! I said across her nose, not up it!
Laser Gunner: Sorry sir! I'm doing my best!
Dark Helmet: Who made that man a gunner?
Major Asshole: I did sir. He's my cousin.
Dark Helmet: Who is he?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an asshole sir.
Dark Helmet: I know that! What's his name?
Colonel Sandurz: That is his name sir. Asshole, Major Asshole!
Dark Helmet: And his cousin?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an asshole too sir. Gunner's mate First Class Philip Asshole!
Dark Helmet: How many asholes do we have on this ship, anyway?
[Entire bridge crew stands up and raises a hand]
Entire Bridge Crew: Yo!
Dark Helmet: I knew it. I'm surrounded by assholes!
[Dark Helmet pulls his face shield down]
Dark Helmet: Keep firing, assholes!