If the girl does not want to terminate the pregnancy, no one should pressure her to do so. Not even her parents. Does not pro-choice mean choice? Meaning you have the right to choose EITHER way. She has the right to choose NOT to have an abortion, too.
Where did you get from anything I said that the parents were trying to force her to get an abortion? I said they would PREFER that she consider terminating the pregnancy. If there has been any badgering at all it's been from the pro life/guilt faction.
No info on the dad in the situation?
I was having sex very early...at about 14. Luckily i guess the girl i was "getting off of the bus a stop early" to visit was on birth control...strange, but true...at least that is what she said.
I dont know what i would do in the parents shoes...I would definately get the fathers parents involved in this, or at least find out if the person who fathered this kid wasnt an adult himself and then you have even bigger problems...
id suggest as a first option adoption, as a second abortion...there is no way on earth a 14 year old havnig a baby will not ruin their lives. I can barely deal with the stress at 30, i couldnt imagine being that young.
Does the girl want to keep it?
The father is her "boyfriend"...same age. He doesn't want anything to do with a baby.
His parents don't know yet but will be brought into the loop before this is resolved. Obviously if she decides to keep the baby that brings financial responsibility, etc. into the picture. Because of her age CPS will be all over this as soon as the baby is born.
She should get an abortion. That is the best solution in this instance.
As you can imagine she is still very scared/confused and doesn't know what she wants to do yet. She's only six weeks so there is still plenty of time for a decision. I'm keeping my fingers crossed she loses it naturally.
That should be a fun conversation.
I love how we consider her fragile state in all of this. She wasn't so fragile as she shoved Billy's her little underaged pussy for her jollies. I'd bet it wasn't the first time she'd given it up either. Judging by the obvious lack of maturity and common sense I don't see how, law or not, she should be left to decide the fate of another.
She obviously isn't capable of exercising even a shred of common sense and decency. Then we turn around and act as if its just PC enough to let her put the fate of an unborn child in her own dirty hands and she'll miracuously make a sound decision based on intellegent thought and common sense.
The thought process of some of you people is down right sickening and absurd. "Her body, her choice" is fine and I'm not disagreeing with that but stop living in a ing black and white world and start making decision based on each new day and each new hurdle to climb. This is all that is wrong with what we allow in our society. I'm sure the parents know what should be done and because of their warped little minds their unsure of what to do and who's choice it is. What a ing disaster. I feel sorry for what may otherwise be solid parenting....I hope they don't abandon that.
I knew a girl that got knocked up at 15 and her parents took her right to the clinic to sort it out. She was horrified and upset as to why they wouldn't let her decide what to do. Over 10 years later and she still thanks her parents for guiding her in the right direction from making a huge mistake and potentially many more on just emotion. She finished college and is current working for some pretty decent pay and now because of that she can actually settle down and raise a family with some comfort and control. Imagine that.
She could have had all those same opportunities by giving the baby up for adoption.
I agree. I'm for that but at the same time you run the risk of 9 months being preggo and the attachment and mental strain from that, you're likely to do more harm than good. I put nipping it in the bud on top of my list followed by adoption as an alternative.
To simply let someone with a track record of stupidity make decisions like this has got to be the most ed up thing I've ever heard. What message are you sending this kid if there is all the freedom to do as you please because everyone around you will pick up the pieces. How irresponsible of a parent are you to let your child know that no matter how ed up their decisions were they'll continue to allow them to make even worse decisions that not only affect her but everyone around them. When is it time to grow up and realize you're the adult and your child has failed you in one of the biggest ways ever. Fixing the situation isn't to continue to allow even more ed up judgements to be made....for sake stop the madness while you can.
This is prime example of why young adults feel en led to so much for so little. They've hardly ever had to be accountable for their actions and someone else always fixes it for them....and its always someone elses fault.
Adoption is a wonderful thing.
As far as the older sister and her husband - frankly, it's none of their damn business. They have their own family to attend to. This is a decision that needs to be kept between the little girl and her parents.
ing bingo.
For the record, Im pro choice. But there are literally thousands of healthy, married couples in this country alone who cannot conceive.
Im also in agreement with B2B. This isnt this little girls decision. She obviously hasnt been able to make a decent decision in her life yet, now as a parent youre going to let her decide the most crucial, life changing event in her life on pure adolescent emotion?!
Whatever. Not my problem. I know exactly and precisely what I would do as a parent in this situation.
Obviously, the state laws may not allow me that luxury, but you get the point.
Scenario A) I demand an abortion. She complys.
Scenario B) I demand an abortion. She refuses. I demand adoption. She complys.
Scenario C) I demand abortion. She refuses. I demand adoption. She refuses.
Again, Im not as big on abortion as you may think. I know I would lean more toward adoption. The baby lives, gets raised in a wonderful home, a young couple with conception issues is given the greatest gift the world over.... , everyone wins.
But its all cir stance. Bottom line: It is not the child's decision, in my family's eyes. The law may/may not say otherwise. She obviously cannot make a sound decision for herself as it is. A 15 year old girl having sex isnt my problem, it really isnt. Its a 15 year old girl having sex without precaution. She obviously isnt using protection or birth control.
Which makes my head spin when you think about all the bad things that can happen...best case: curable STD, worst case: AIDs. Pregnancy is somewhere in the middle. All bad...all easy to prevent.
You weren't trying to get laid at 14?
I disagree, its her sister. If it was my little sister I would be putting my two cents in. And if they're capable of raising the child, IMO thats better than adoption. The child would stay in the family and the mother would still be very close to her/him.
Seriously, her parents should have taught her to use condoms. Every parent should get off his/her ing high horse and realize teenagers have biological urges to get laid that aren't going to be curbed by trying to guilt them out of it. Telling people not to have sex is like telling spiders not to spin webs.
On to the main topic, the parents should just be honest about the options their daughter has, and tell everyone else to STFU. I know it's hard to do this in an unbiased way, but they need to present facts to her. If it was my daughter, I'd probably want her to have the kid and give him up for adoption, but it's not my choice. About the only thing I'd be pressuring her to do is to think hard and come to a decision before it's too late and the decision is made for her by time.
Yeah I love those families (insert appropriate nationality here) where your Aunt is really your mother and your sister is really your daughter and everyone just calls everyone YaYa.
Dude at 14 all I cared about was playing basketball. I couldn't give too s about getting laid. I went to school, got home, went to the park, came home at dark, rinse and repeat.
Late bloomer I guess.
You should write for a porn mag!
While I don't think this girl should have this child and attempt to raise it, you have no idea of the emotional scarring that can occur by being forced or coerced into having an abortion. That can be hugely traumatic to girl. Which is not to mention the potential problems with future fertility that both pregnancy and abortion carry - may not matter much at 14, but matters a lot at 34 if you can't get pregnant because of previous trauma.
I fully agree that she is not capable of making good decisions, which is why her parents (and possibly a family therapist) should sit down and explain all the options to her. She has to agree to the decision without coercion, or she'll never be able to accept it.
I think adoption is the best possible solution - but I'm very wary of it, because I just watched someone get yanked around on an adoption after years of infertility. It was their second failed adoption - the 16 year old mother simply could not bring herself to give up the baby (her mother had pressured her to give up the baby). Watching those poor people through all the drama of changed minds, waiting, and finally having a conversation with the mother where she agreed to the adoption, only to change her mind when they arrived to take the baby home . . . it's awful.
I'm sorry for your friends, CC. I hope that they are able to come together and help this girl reach a decision that they can all live with.
I'm trying to remember what I was doing at 14, I think I may have still been playing hopscotch at the local park
They are growing up very fast these days. And personally, I don't think it's always the parent's fault in these situations. They may be blamed partially, but the biggest issue I have as the cause of teen pregnancy is what I refer to as "The American Culture" It seems over the years, having sex has become the norm in this country and less of a hush, hush taboo subject it was...at least compared to when I was young. Kid's friends affects their decisions more than anything in the world at that age. IF all her friends are doing it or close to doing it, no parent is going to be able to stop their kids. You can't have a lock on what your kid is doing 24/7 no matter how hard you try.
It seems the "values" of the American culture have been changing over the past decade. Just look at the "role models" young girls have these days; Lindsay Lohan, Brittany Spears (her sister...), etc. When we didn't have young celebrities like that around to watch.
PS As I just had wisdom teeth surgery, I was just thinking to myself, I don't know how the I am going to handle the pain of giving birth, whenever I get to that point in my life.
Can you imagine a 14 year old having to go through LABOR?! I mean, didn't she just start getting her period???
There are councelors, therapists etc. in the loop. They will do everything they can do so she can make an informed decision. (as best as a 14 year old can)
And you guys making holier than thou value judgements on this little girl repulse me.
Yeah, I wish she wasn't in this situation but there but for the grace of god could be any of our sons/daughters. You guys that are so sure that YOU wouldn't let anything like this happen to YOUR daughter (assuming you ever lose your virginity and actually find a woman who would have your child) have a of a lot to learn about raising kids.
Openness of sexuality is not the cause of teen pregnancy. Not by a long shot. European cultures are FAR more open with sexuality than America is and they generally do not have the teen pregnancy problem America does. In fact there is evidence to support the opposite of what you claim.I'm trying to remember what I was doing at 14, I think I may have still been playing hopscotch at the local park
They are growing up very fast these days. And personally, I don't think it's always the parent's fault in these situations. They may be blamed partially, but the biggest issue I have as the cause of teen pregnancy is what I refer to as "The American Culture" It seems over the years, having sex has become the norm in this country and less of a hush, hush taboo subject it was...at least compared to when I was young. Kid's friends affects their decisions more than anything in the world at that age. IF all her friends are doing it or close to doing it, no parent is going to be able to stop their kids. You can't have a lock on what your kid is doing 24/7 no matter how hard you try.
It seems the "values" of the American culture have been changing over the past decade. Just look at the "role models" young girls have these days; Lindsay Lohan, Brittany Spears (her sister...), etc. When we didn't have young celebrities like that around to watch.
Teens have always had sex. This is not something new. In the past thigns were different considering that marriages occured at a much younger average age and with each passing generation that has changed. For example my grand mother was already wed at the age this child has concieved this child.
I've never done any hard research into the numbers of teen pregnency rates but I don't blame this (and I really see no way you can) on openness of sexuality in our culture. To begin with, its really not a very open culture in regardes to sexuality ( o, the nation went crazy over a ing 40 year old nipple) so I don't see how that argument could ever carry any water.
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