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Oh... .Although that gets mathematically harder with every passing week.
There are moments I wish this was true.Although that gets mathematically harder with every passing week.
Oh... .Although that gets mathematically harder with every passing week.
I can see both sides. I've had some nasty breakups but I don't dwell on them for the rest of my life. Geezus, get over it already. Heck, I've hated and couldn't stand some of the women some of my friends dated but I didn't let that get in the way of our friendship. Some even married them and I still can't stand them but I put up with them because I still enjoy spending time with my friend.
Well, at least a couple get where I'm coming from.
I didn't offer up my ex husband to any of my friends after I divorced him. But that's b/c I would never do that to a friend. Now,
[No, youre not. People that lay claim to ex's are bags. Theyre possesive, insecure and immature. They couldnt fathom a world where *GASP* theyre ex is ing their friend?!
"OMG! My poor, damaged EGO!"
You know what? Some people, namely you and your ex, arent compatible for different reasons at different times. Maybe when you two dated, you were both 22 years old....we're 28 now, he/she is extremely different as am I.
If that violates a friendship, youre not a friend. Sorry. The world is full of people who need their ego massaged, glad I knew where to file you.
People are constantly talking about "their past emotional attachment" when justifying friends not being able to date their ex's.
I have a question for people like that....
Do you need help with that baggage, or are you going to carry that around your whole life?
Bunch of ing touchy-feely, emotional wimps. , I had a friend's older brother straight steal my girlfriend! Yeah, it sucked. Yeah, I was pissed for awhile. But in the end, I got the over it and I had no lingering problem with him afterword. Why should I? Man, this is a free country...she chose him. Am I gonna cry about that the rest of my life in some lonely bar? Grow up, son.
Im a married man now, and I could give 2 s about one of my brothers/friends dating some broad I used to. Care less!
You know why? Because this life is entirely too short to get all hung up on some person that did you wrong or some relationship that didnt work out. So what, you got your poor, fragile little heart broke...the band plays on friend.
Be a ing adult. Deal with your mommy issues and grow up about adults being adults and the chance that yes, your friend/brother/sister may at some point start ing one of your ex's.
DISCLAIMER: this is no way applies to ex-husbands or ex-wives. Those are the ONLY exceptions.
That's what I'm talking about. Life goes on.
For some, I guess. Some people just value the feelings of those people they care about a little more than others, apparently.
Who gives a if it's rational or not or the mature thing to do? Is there a rule book that says it should be so? WTF? You're such a badass.
For some, I guess. Some people just value the feelings of those people they care about a little more than others, apparently.
Who gives a if it's rational or not or the mature thing to do? Is there a rule book that says it should be so? WTF? You're such a badass.
Yup. To each his own. I guess I use manlaw.And I do care about the feelings of others but not to the extent others do when it comes to relationship baggage and if that makes me less of a person then so be it. But I don't think it does.
Yup. To each his own. I guess I use manlaw.
It really doesn't have much to do with emotional baggage with MY friend and I at all. It's just something that used to come up a lot with us when we were younger and we always thought a dude doing that was a sleaze bag.
But then, she's closer to me than a sister ... not just a friend, and mostly it was invitations for both of us together. heh.
Well I have never been in a position to date my friends' exes and I don't think I would. They are exes for a reason. And has been pointed out this is not a perfect world; but there are all kinds of people in this world, and I personally, would never let my own selfishness stand in the way of a good friend's happinness. And if it's with my ex and I have moved on, remarried, had a child, it would be just too vindictive to begrudge someone else the same thing. I just couldn't do it.
Whoa whoa whoa...
If its something you and your friend explicitly talked about and agreed upon, then of course you should honor your word.
I was talking about people assuming such things to be the case.
I am married to a buddies ex-girlfriend; and have been for 18 years.
NOT only that; but we are great friends with him and his wife; in fact, God-Parents to each others respective kids.
GF/BF is just practice for the real thing. When it's over, it's over.
Congratulations on being an adult. Some couldnt possibly understand such a thing.
(not directed at you, mrs)
If he/she is your friend and they start dating one of your ex's and it makes them happy...who are you to begrudge them that on some silly-ass possession clause?
How selfish are YOU to think just because you were emotionally attached to someone a long time ago, automatically disqualifies ANYONE you ever knew from taking in interest in them in the future?
What ing planet are you from?
(obviously, such as SW's situation where it was agreed upon being an exception. Youre only as good as your word.)
Hallelujah.
Case.
In.
Point.
Grow up, children.
I honestly don't think we've ever actually agreed on anything in so many words ... but it's instinctual for me to be turned off by anyone she's ever dated. Probably because I've gotten to listen to her about *him* incessantly right up until *their* demise. And if you can imagine, that's rather off-putting.
And she's also probably one, if not the only, one I feel that way about as far as ex's are concerned.
*shrugs*
I am curious, thus the following questions.
If the questions are too personal in nature, forget I asked.
You said you might be okay if there was a legitimate connection between a friend of yours and your ex.
So at what point would you want to be made aware of your friend's interest in your ex- when she first developed feelings, when she first learned her feelings for the guy were mutual, or after they decided to date seriously?
And if she chose not to tell you until they were already dating seriously, would you see that as wisdom or betrayal on the part of your friend?
Now thats totally fair. Youre a victim of knowing too muchI honestly don't think we've ever actually agreed on anything in so many words ... but it's instinctual for me to be turned off by anyone she's ever dated. Probably because I've gotten to listen to her about *him* incessantly right up until *their* demise. And if you can imagine, that's rather off-putting.
And she's also probably one, if not the only, one I feel that way about as far as ex's are concerned.
*shrugs*
I always approach these opinion threads the same. I treat it as if one of my friends asked me the question and I respond in the exact way I would in person.
Hope no one gets too offended. I am just not a very emotional person and have a problem understanding those who are over-emotional, to the point of absurdity.
I consider myself a caring person but and not wanting to intentionally hurt someone else's feeling but this is just a little too much for me but I'm sure I'm being hypocritical since I'd probably have a different opinion on other emotional situations if that makes any sense.Now thats totally fair. Youre a victim of knowing too much
I always approach these opinion threads the same. I treat it as if one of my friends asked me the question and I respond in the exact way I would in person.
Hope no one gets too offended. I am just not a very emotional person and have a problem understanding those who are over-emotional, to the point of absurdity.
Hey, would now be a good time to tell Joe about me and the missus back in the day?
(kidding! kidding! kidding!!!!)
Depends entirely on the situation/people involved. Communication and honesty are the most important things to me in all of my relationships -- boyfriends/girlfriends, friends, family, etc. -- and I would feel betrayed if I felt that something was being intentionally hidden from me.
For example, if one of my very close friends, one who normally shares everything with me, started seeing an ex and didn't tell me until several weeks in, I would probably feel hurt that he/she felt like they couldn't trust me with that information sooner. If a more casual friend started dating an ex and I didn't find out for several weeks, on the other hand, I likely wouldn't feel as hurt by their withholding that information.
Thank you for answering.
I pray I am never in a position to worry about someone dating my ex.
Bo is my first boyfriend and I want to keep him.
Uh if i were her husband i would want to know "Why the she cares so damn much about her friend wanting to date someone well in her past"? "If our marriage is strong, you should not care at all and just be happy for your friend" Doesn't make sense to me at all. If she has no feelings for the guy anymore, what is the problem??
My father was in a spot like this in college. He dated someone for over a year, it was pretty serious, but they broke up, his best friend asked "if he could ask her out, my father said sure," as he was now dating the woman that came to be his wife, my mother. Well they ended up getting married around the same time my father got marrried to my mother. Stayed close friends for many many years. If someone is not a match and there are no more feelings involved, then the ex should just be happy for their friend that they found eachother. That's the way i see it..
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