Truth or Myth - Nice guys finish last with women

[Stump]

Don't have time to really spell out all these thoughts, but here are a few tidbits from my point of view.

No, women don't really want nice guys all that much, but I do think a lot would like a good guy. That means someone who is considerate and caring, but still has a spine, is confident in who he is and doesn't care what others think, and isn't afraid to say no. Shifting from a nice guy to a good guy doesn't mean that you'll be respecting women any less. It just means you'll be respecting yourself more, which is important not just for chasing girls, but for life in general.

A lot of nice guys just up end shifting into assholes instead. It's kind of sad, but given the way women stupidly act, it really doesn't come as a suprise.

Also, a lot of how you rank how different types of guys 'place' depends on how you measure success. Quan y versus quality and all that. Jerks will get quan y, but will have a harder time keeping a solid girl if they can't treat her right.

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

I'm too lazy to grow sloggin through four pages so I'll say: what is your definition of finishing? If you're just looking to score some tail then yes, being an asshole works in that regard. One of my brother's roommates is a raging asshole. Even his closest friends invariably end up describing him as one, like, "Sure, John's a pretty big asshole, but he cracks me up." With that said, when he hits a bar or a club he's got about an 80% success rate of either leaving with someone or with the number (or numbers) of chicks he ends up hooking up with. He's got a phone full of sexting pics to prove it. The flip side (and this is almost a direct quote from him) is that the chicksthat go for assholes invariably have a crazy streak a mile wide that will show itself if you stick around long enough.

There's always such a thing as too nice, but if you're thinking long term nice will take you farther than not.

[EmptyMan]

Nice guys finish last with women that are not worth it.

[BacktoBasics]

I'm like SFIE I'm not reading the entire thread but the reality isn't just as pure as nice guys finishing last. Sometimes nice guys get the girl but its always after her failure to Mr. Right so you get sloppy seconds and there is typically a ton of baggage and emotional luggage envolved.

[lebomb]

This is what Ive been told before by women................They want a BAD boy that treats them NICE.

[JamStone]

I didn't read the thread so what I say may have already been said...

From my personal experience in the prime dating years (roughly 18-25), I think the cliche about nice guys finishing last does hold a lot of truth to it. Nice guys who like girls can often end up being good friends with girls they like. But, I've also been in and have witnessed where those situations also manifest into relationships where the nice guy becomes friends with a girl he likes, and after a while, they end up dating.

I think there's actually a sensitive balance between being a nice guy and a "bad boy" when it comes to getting girls. Around that age for young women (18-22) especially if they're still in college, a lot (not all) of girls like the confidence and brashness of a "bad boy" off the first impression. I think they find that confidence sexy. But, here's where it gets tricky. Unless the girl is some "trick," any girl with any self-worth generally doesn't really want that "bad boy" for more than anything than the initial physical satisfaction of conquering a "bad boy." Girls find that "bad boy" sexy but also want to be the girl who can melt that "bad boy" into a sweetheart. No one really wants to be treated like .

So, what gave me some pretty good success when I kind of figured that stuff out was when I liked a girl to come off with a first impression of being very confident, borderline y, almost flippant to girls I liked, but if I got the chance to talk with them or more importantly go out with them and stuff, to let them see that I was actually a really nice guy.

Now, just like with everything else in life, it's not universal. Not every girl is like that. But, from what I saw when I was younger, a lot of girls had the penchant to be initially attracted to the "bad boy" but would fall for a sweet guy if they gave him a chance. That's why learning to balance the two personalities could give you some pretty good success.

[Trainwreck2100]

Couldn't agree more. The issue in my book isn't him getting any. That won't happen given the way he look, my problem is him getting jerked around by a girl he's dumb enough to think legitimately likes him. Everyone in my house wants to do whatever they can to help him and let that girl run everybody's agenda, the truth is what would be best is a reality check where he realizes he ain't gettin any tail until he starts busting his ass on the stair master.

son if you want to get the mother er off the couch here is what you do, you find a you know who is hot, and you know for sure will never touch him. And you say "hey I'm looking to hook him up with someone," Son see if that doesn't have some fat little friend. All decent hot chick has at least one not hot friend to make them feel better about themselves. And es love hooking people up cause it makes them feel important. The guy will either date the rhino and get laid, cause lets face it fat chicks put out. Or hit the gym, cause there's no bigger slap in the face than trying to be set up with a chick you think is damn ugly. Its a splash of water in the face of your inflated sense of self.

[Trainwreck2100]

Also my friends its always hilarious when threads like these pop up that the vagina brigade comes to try and debunk this fact. Unless they are still banging the first guy they dated, more than likely they've hooked up with a guy who they thought was an asshole or else they would never break up with anyone.

[MannyIsGod]

Total Myth.


The truth is passive aggressive guys who think they are "nice" finish last with women.

[florige]

I think what "nice guys" thought ration is that if they don't treat the girl nice, and spoil them that the girl might leave him. But the thing of it is, that doesn't matter if a girl is curious as to what else is out being it how it feels to be with a bad boy or whatever, it doesn't matter how nice you are to them. Usually the girl has to be with the bad boy asshole first(who in all likelyhood beats the crap out of her, and probably doesn't have a job) in order for a nice guy to have a legitimate chance imo. Then she knows that being with a "bad boy" who isn't worth a crap isn't really whats its all cracked up to be. But they have to usually have to go through it first for whatever reason.

[florige]

This is what Ive been told before by women................They want a BAD boy that treats them NICE.

I have heard that SO many times it isn't funny. Its like they want the best of both worlds. Normally a bad boy is what the name signifies a BAD boy.

[tlongII]

I just whip it out and they come runnin. Doesn't matter if I'm nice or not.

[J.T.]

It's definitely not a myth.

My mother left my father because he was a nice guy.

I think she only married him in the first place because he was on SWT's back-to-back national championship football teams and thought he might make it to the NFL. He didn't.

[Homeland Security]

Look, there are several kinds of "nice" and only one of them finishes last.

There is the "nice" guy who is the one who is very smooth and says all the right things. He may in reality be a complete snake, or he may really be decent, but either way, he has no problem.

Then there is the "nice" guy who is genuinely altruistic and compassionate and all that. He won't finish last either, but since he's maybe 0.5% of the population he doesn't make any difference.

Then there is the "nice" guy who is really just timid, and plays by the rules not because he believes in the rules, but because he's afraid to break them. Yes, he finishes last, but it has nothing to do with being "nice."

[J.T.]

This theory also has a lot to do with the fact that women don't ing grow up until after they're on the wrong side of 30.

[Homeland Security]

This theory also has a lot to do with the fact that women don't ing grow up until after they're on the wrong side of 30.

As opposed to men who never grow up at all.

[The Reckoning]

just be confident and have a big ego. it doesnt matter whether youre nice or not.


on a side note, being yourself is the best thing to do because completely changing your personality for the sake of poon is the lamest excuse ever, and youre selling yourself out. its also easier in order to "keep in your role."

be your own personality on steroids - be confident of your personality and egotistical of who you are. dont be a complete asshole (because youre being a disgrace to yourself) but let yourself be known.

if women dont notice you, how can they get with you?

and like i said, it doesnt matter whether youre nice or not, but sometimes being nice takes a lot less energy. chivalry is never a bad thing.

[Homeland Security]

just be confident and have a big ego. it doesnt matter whether youre nice or not.

I've been amazed to see how at work, changing from being the guy in the background who tries to do the right thing, to being aggressive and belittling people who don't do their jobs, has gotten me "unwanted" attention.

These women are predictable and sad.

[IronMexican]

I really don't think it's about being bad more than being in control.

[JamStone]

I've been amazed to see how at work, changing from being the guy in the background who tries to do the right thing, to being aggressive and belittling people who don't do their jobs, has gotten me "unwanted" attention.

These women are predictable and sad.

Probably in part because being a jerk stands out. Being nice generally doesn't.

I actually do agree with those who are saying it's more about being timid and shy than being nice. If you're a genuinely nice guy but very outgoing, charismatic, great sense of humor, being nice won't factor as much. But, if you're the nice "quiet" guy, you need an edge to get you noticed.

[Frenzy]

being a jerk works. it's turning into less of a jerk when you are with them that seals the deal. That way they think they had some effect in you Causing them to be more interested.

[Kamnik]

Treating a woman like is a great way to pick one up who will be extremely loyal to you. The flip-side is, do you want a girlfriend who acts like your dog?

Sad but true.

[MannyIsGod]

Then there is the "nice" guy who is really just timid, and plays by the rules not because he believes in the rules, but because he's afraid to break them. Yes, he finishes last, but it has nothing to do with being "nice."

[samikeyp]

More often than not, its very true.

[MannyIsGod]

More often than not, the guys who think they are nice and finishing last are just pussys or have unrealistic expectations. Oh gee, why can't I get this girl who never showed any interest in me to begin with even though I've spent months pining after her. Must be because nice guys finish last.