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I am. And all that means is I wasn't going to waste the rest of my life with someone who couldn't keep the promise he made to me. I don't around, nor tolerate people that do. I'm not desperate, man.
This is pretty low on the scale of bad things (assuming STDs are not part of this story). Nevertheless, they need better counseling. The wife needs to understand that her husband going to have sex whether it's with her or not. In general, women need to understand that men are going to have sex whether here or there (no, it's not true for all men, but it's a good assumption). Whether or not you women think that men are horrid creatures because of this, it's not going to change this basic fact of life.
Yes, the husband should be honest. Yes, the wife should be willing to work on it (at least counseling). I agree with Chopper that the situation is about a turn probably for the worse.
I am. And all that means is I wasn't going to waste the rest of my life with someone who couldn't keep the promise he made to me. I don't around, nor tolerate people that do. I'm not desperate, man.
nor should you be.
no, he should not be honest. The wife will divorce his ass if he told her that he is ing pros utes. He just needs to stop doing it, and get his wife to get her issues settled, and they need to start over. Maybe he can be happy afterall.
Last edited by Jimcs50; 01-18-2008 at 05:23 PM.
My point is that "for better or worse" and "promise to honor" are in the same vows as "until death do us part". I deleted my first post because this isn't about your personal life or mine, it's about the hypothetical hooker buying guy. I apologize.
Maybe he has bad breath?
Because the small smack is a low blow, specially coming from women (size doesn't matter honey, really it doesn't...Why would I be threatened by a hooker? She gets stuck with the ugly guys with tiny s that want to wear her underwear.
I guess "for better or worse" and "promise to honor ... " has always meant something to me ... I guess with most of you it doesn't mean jack .) so I thought it was funny how quickly we got that one served to us.
Wtf does it have anything to do with marriage? The smack was that only men with small s hire escorts (you just repeated it btw). Nobody said anything about the sanc y of marriage. Again overeacting much?
WTF does a married man ing pros utes have to do with the sanc y of marriage? A lot, I'd say.
I was responding to all the "all of you jealous woman jumping the man's when all he wants to do is get his wet" type of remarks. Sorry, I didn't realize this guy was a martyr and therefore not open to criticism.
I think both are being selfish and both of them have a responsibility to work on it. Sex every 2-3 months is not enough unless both partners are ok with it. She needs to figure out what is wrong and he needs to support her and wait until they find out what is causing her lack of desire. If she doesnt care to figure it out and is happy with having sex only 4 times per year then I don't blame him for going elsewhere.
There is no such thing as a high class hooker; and if there were, then I'd be the highest class there is: I have no job, I have a nice house, 2 nice cars, all my bills are paid for me, I buy anything I want anytime I want, spend lots of time with my friends, the time I spend with my kids is all quality (I have no other real responsibilities). I deal with only one regular "client" (my husband, and only occasionally because he doesn't even live in the same town) who treats me well and he happens to be my best friend!P.S.
I think that guy should take a closer look---what he wants may just be in his own house! I know some guys are thinking "Yea but is he just as happy?". Well all I have to go on is my gut feeling and what he says to me. Right now that is all positive, and if it should turn negative then I can only hope that our
communication will help us work thru it. It has helped work out many problems already.
I'm really surprised. Marriage is about compromise, even with sex. I shouldn't have to SFIE whenever he wants simply because he's a man with a high sex drive. Likewise, I should make an effort (or get treated for low sexual drive/function) even when I don't want sex to try and keep him happy. Find a middle ground we are both comfortable with.
It is NOT ok for him to step out to get whatever needs met. That goes against our vows and promises and the foundation of our relationship. Granted, if she is choosing to be physically frigid and close him out, that is wrong too. If she is able to be treated without dangerous side effects, and is choosing not to, then she is also contributing to the problem.
But regardless of whether or not they both brought about the problem of little sex in their marriage, his 'solution' is unacceptable without her consent. It is selfish and regardless of how many precautions are taken, there remains the possibility of contracting a disease that doesn't otherwise exist. It's lovely that he built up a castle in his mind about protecting his wife by not forming emotional attachments (though he's formed an addiction and claims that he can't keep a happy relationship with his wife without sleeping with a very expensive pros ute) or sleeping with anyone she knows (which doesn't preclude her finding out. And it seems she would be pretty upset regardless). Yeah, he went to a lot of effort for what boils down to the same thing - cheating on his wife and hiding it from her.
This actually makes me shake with anger. And the idea that selfish animalistic urges that can be controlled (because by God, plenty of people do lead celibate lives) are a justification for it (and therefore, it's her fault that he's sticking his into a ) - what the ? It's the same faulty line of logic as "She was raped because she was asking for it by wearing a miniskirt." or "I didn't want to beat her, but she makes me so angry sometimes." This situation is clearly some distance from that, but the justifications are the same, and I find it infuriating.
He is just ing the pros utes that he is supposed to .
Oh, and I would be really, really, really shocked if she hasn't figured it out. Eight years of it? Yeah, unless she's really trying to be blind, anyone would have to make some connections, you know? I'd be very curious about the money situation and how he is hiding that from her.
Not every wife keeps up with the finances. If he pays all bills, it would not be hard to hide the expenditures.
I can also see him having a separate account (I don't know what Jason does with the money in his personal account, but I do know it's a small amount of money, because I know what goes into our joint account), which would make sense. I'd just be curious about how he hides it.
He probably could not hide $1000 for a "high class" expenditure, huh?
BTW, I could never use a pros ute....I would not be too comfortable, as I would have to be checking checking my for green and purple sores every day for a solid month after the sex.....not worth it.
Oh, and also, because I can't stop thinking about this -
Apart from the risk of STD's this guy is running, there is never a guarantee that one of these girls won't turn up pregnant, claiming he's the daddy. There is never a guarantee that one of these girls isn't secretly fliming the encounter or taking pictures to use as blackmail. There is never a guarantee that one of these hookers isn't a cop in a sting. There is never a guarantee that one of these agencies won't be busted and won't have their client list published in court (I mean, that's never happened, right?).
And the guy knows it's wrong, or he wouldn't hide it. He knows his wife isn't ok with it, so he doesn't tell her. He tells himself that his little romps aren't dangerous (because they use protection and because the agencies are so great and exclusive and secretive), that he's protecting his wife (yeah, right) and that it's making him a better husband (again, sure thing, buddy). But it's an extremely dangerous practice.
He probably could not hide $1000 for a "high class" expenditure, huh?
He has no need.
But yeah, I know how much he makes and I know how much goes into our joint account. He knows the same about my checks and my personal account and our joint account.
That's just good business practice. I do handle a lot of the bills, but we know precisely how much we make, because we are trying to stick to a budget and pay off debt. Money can't just go flying out the window.
Now, if SFIE has found a way to pick up a five dollar and charge it to UH on-campus restaurants, then he's found a way around me, because I do see charges for that on our bank statement. . .
Awesome.
I do not think your husband even knows John Smith, so no need to worry about that.
Now, if SFIE has found a way to pick up a five dollar and charge it to UH on-campus restaurants, then he's found a way around me, because I do see charges for that on our bank statement. . .
I do not think your husband even knows John Smith, so no need to worry about that.
I still believe Chopper is making this up.
If he's not making it up, then I don't see anything to debate. The guy is a lying, cheating bas . Men are not en led to sex whenever they want it. I don't really believe that a 45-year-old has such a high sex drive that he has to resort to this anyway. Using expensive s is not making his relationship with his wife better. What's happening is that he enjoys having sex with the s, and simply is rationalizing doing it.
well, now we know who's wive's read their post history and whose don't
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