Except that Jason never asked me to change my name. As he's stated, he doesn't care.
So why does everyone else (not here, since I brought it up).
Because people are judgemental.
No one can judge anyone else's relationship or cir stances because they haven't "walked a mile in their shoes" but everyone does it anyway. It's human nature.
But it shouldn't bother you. If you are confident in your decision and Jason is happy, more power to you.
Though I'm still warning you, it will be a hassle for your kids.
If he's cool with it, then it's cool. Maybe he just has a bad last name
It doesn't. Unless it's important to your husband. If it's important to your husband and it 'hurts' him, then it is a reflection of your commitment if you refused to change it.
For example, I hated my husband's family and really liked my maiden name like you do. And then LJ said, well I really want you to take my last name and I didn't want to do so. Then I think insisting on not changing it would reflect on my commitment to him as his wife. Because as we all know, it's my duty as his wife to obey his wishes.
I didn't know you hated your husband's family?!
Thanks for deleting my "if".
Husband's last name is required, if you don't want it, then don't get married.
It takes a strong woman to agree to be Lorie Loompah.
SWEET. Tightlips was banned!
I think it is odd that this is coming up. The guy I am currently with does not care if I take his name or not. When I heard that I thought that was the weirdest thing ever. I had never thought about NOT taking the guy's name. I definitely wouldn't hyphonate my name. That would just make my name way too long. I would most definitly take my husband's name. I guess I don't see anything wrong with NOT taking his name...I just know that when I get married...I will be taking the man's name. I think the reasoning behind that is because that is what has always been done and I see no reason to change that.
I just read "Loompah" for the 3rd time today and still laughed.
better than Lorie of the Lollipop Guild!
The whole thing is just so bizarre to me. The last name is NOT required. Not by law, not by my husband, not by my religion. And it has nothing to do with making a life-long committment.
I mean, custom, sure. But what is so surprising to me is that it's mostly men who have the problem with it here. That's also strange to me. From just a fairness standpoint.
Oh well.
I did ... and still kept it after we divorced to make things easier for my kids. But if I get married again, I would definitely change it...regardless of what a PITA getting your driver's license, checks, SS card, insurances, mortgage, work email...all of my other bills .... changed.
Will it read Spurswoman Useruser666??
My last name meant nothing to me so I had no problems getting rid of it. Didn't use it as my middle name, scratched it altogether. Plus, John has a really cool and pretty unique last name...here in the states anyway. I'm sure in Pakistan it would be like 'Smith' or something. But, I am the only person in the world with this name, so that's pretty cool. And if we meet someone with the same last name here, we can mostly assume we're related.
I do understand what you're saying about it going both ways. What if your name has a lot of history about it and means the world to you, and your husband doesn't feel the same way about his? Would it be wrong of him not to switch?
A question for you though. You're going to give your name to your daughter's because you want it to be carried on. But what if they want to change their last names when they get married?
Aha. That would be just fine with me. Because it will be their choice to switch their names or not. I don't care if people choose to do it - as long as they realize they have a choice. I mean, I can't deny my daughters the same right I have. Would I be secretly pleased if they choose to keep the same name I have? Absolutely. Would I be upset if they changed? Nope, not at all. The name will at least be given the opportunity to be carried on, which is what I want most.
in my area of the world the wives leave their maiden name and then add the husbands
last name at the end.
Por ejemplo,if Tony Parker and Eva Longoria were to get married. Eva would be
Eva Longoria-Parker or Eva Longoria de Parker. In Mexico "de" is always used.
ex:Sofia Vergara de Montemayor
Not necessarily, of late people are just using the good old hyphen....
Last edited by kris; 08-12-2006 at 04:15 AM.
Missed this the first time.
I found this statement rather ironic:
Yet you want to deny your OWN children that very same thing- by having not only two different surnames for you and your spouse, but even different last names for the boys and the girls.I said well before ever meeting my husband that I would keep my name. It means a lot to me ever since my parent's divorced. It's one of the few things we all still had in common.
BTW: When you say MY name- is that your dad's name?
As for me- I followed a traditional route that very few seem to follow now- my maiden name became my middle name, and it says so on all my legal do ents. I sign my full name-- no hyphens or anything.
I'm old fashioned and like parents and kids to have the same last names but in today's world that is becoming more and more uncommon.
We changed our oldest daughter's last name to mine so that she and her sister would have the same last name. But to each his own.
I want to take on my husband's last name. That it is important to me.
I also want my new name to sound nice, so I'll take care to fall in love with a man who has a great last name.
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Nice!
