not badGUANTANAMO BAY: A BRIEF SKETCH
Starring:
Khalid
Mahmoud
Lieutenant
Elderly American Fundamentalist Christian Woman
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(Opening scene: Afghan countryside)
Khalid: Oh, I am a simple goat herder! I surely love my wife and children! I shall herd with all my might in this rugged countryside!
Mahmoud: Hmm... I am jealous of Khalid's goat pasture. I want it for my goats. My pasture is poor and rocky. His is full of grass.
(American humvee motors by)
Mahmoud: I have an idea!
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(Two days later, in a dimly lit filthy room)
Khalid: AIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME!!!!!!!
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(One week later, Afghan countryside)
Afghan guy: My goats are well-fed and happy! I am rich!
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(Two years later, someplace in Cuba)
Khalid: AIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
(Door opens and slams)
Lieutenant: Remove the hot poker from the prisoner at once! Turns out he's innocent. Send him back to his cell. We will process his release papers.
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(One month later, Texas)
(Elderly American Fundamentalist Christian Woman reading newspaper at home)
Elderly American Fundamentalist Christian Woman: This is terrible! Why are they releasing terrorists?! If they don't have any evidence, they're probably still guilty! I mean, look at them! I hope these s die! Oh, look at the clock, time for bible study.
THE END
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