Question for the married ladies out there

[Road House Captain]

Wow, lots of great responses and feedback on this thread. Thanks much for all the info from personal experiences.

Since my original post/thread start, had a sit down with the wife and we were able to really talk things out some. First off, some carification. I think I portrayed my wife as wanting to know everything all the time, and that's not really the case. She is cool with time I spend with friends, and we do things together with other couples that we both enjoy.

I think what I failed to realize is that I have a tendency to hide what I consider small things from her, things which I consider irrelevant but she doesn't view the same way. And perception for most people = reality. Her perception of the comments I made to a friend in an email were different than my perception that I was just blowing of steam/venting about marriage. I have to understand and appreciate her perception of those comments.

She was also willing to admit that she does have a tendency to over-react and get angry at times, and that this anger can be very counter-productive to working out problems in the marriage. So, one thing we agreed to do was sit down every Sunday for at least an hour or so and talk about the state of our marriage. Are we communicating? Are we spending enought time together? Do we reinforce our emotional connection to each other?

I think this can go a long way towards increasing her security in the marriage and me making sure I am communicating information to her that even if I think is irrelevant, might be important to her.

To answer some other questions, my wife is white. Outside of my email account, which she has access to, I don't own a cell phone so I don't make calls or text anyone-so that's not really an issue. I guess the last answer would be I don't care how many other women are out there, I'm committed to my wife and our 3 kids. I'll go to and back before I leave this marriage or this family. I also find it interesting in marriage that you continue to find new hurdles to clear, often times hurdles you never saw coming at you. I guess that's also part of the fun.

You ing think?

Look at this:

And honestly, I don't really remember all the specific details of my day to day activities. Sometimes I'll have a phone conversation with my mom and she wants to know everything we talked about. I'll sum it up in a few minutes, but then I can see her getting upset because maybe I'm not telling her everything. Damn! It's just frustrating as , I can't remember every detail I discuss with my mother.

How the can one exaggerate this?

[2Blonde]

I also find it interesting in marriage that you continue to find new hurdles to clear, often times hurdles you never saw coming at you. I guess that's also part of the fun.

My husband always says he/we are like books being written, so there will always be a few chapters I/we haven't read yet. I think that's what gives us the opportunity to grow. Exploring the growth of our relationship and each other, as individuals, is part of the fun.

[angel_luv]

Wow, lots of great responses and feedback on this thread. Thanks much for all the info from personal experiences.

Since my original post/thread start, had a sit down with the wife and we were able to really talk things out some. First off, some carification. I think I portrayed my wife as wanting to know everything all the time, and that's not really the case. She is cool with time I spend with friends, and we do things together with other couples that we both enjoy.

I think what I failed to realize is that I have a tendency to hide what I consider small things from her, things which I consider irrelevant but she doesn't view the same way. And perception for most people = reality. Her perception of the comments I made to a friend in an email were different than my perception that I was just blowing of steam/venting about marriage. I have to understand and appreciate her perception of those comments.

She was also willing to admit that she does have a tendency to over-react and get angry at times, and that this anger can be very counter-productive to working out problems in the marriage. So, one thing we agreed to do was sit down every Sunday for at least an hour or so and talk about the state of our marriage. Are we communicating? Are we spending enought time together? Do we reinforce our emotional connection to each other?

I think this can go a long way towards increasing her security in the marriage and me making sure I am communicating information to her that even if I think is irrelevant, might be important to her.

To answer some other questions, my wife is white. Outside of my email account, which she has access to, I don't own a cell phone so I don't make calls or text anyone-so that's not really an issue. I guess the last answer would be I don't care how many other women are out there, I'm committed to my wife and our 3 kids. I'll go to and back before I leave this marriage or this family. I also find it interesting in marriage that you continue to find new hurdles to clear, often times hurdles you never saw coming at you. I guess that's also part of the fun.

Awesome! I am so glad you guys worked things out. Good for you!

[angel_luv]

My husband always says he/we are like books being written, so there will always be a few chapters I/we haven't read yet. I think that's what gives us the opportunity to grow. Exploring the growth of our relationship and each other, as individuals, is part of the fun.

Great analogy.

[LnGrrrR]

My husband always says he/we are like books being written, so there will always be a few chapters I/we haven't read yet. I think that's what gives us the opportunity to grow. Exploring the growth of our relationship and each other, as individuals, is part of the fun.

I heard a fun analogy while playing Fallout 3 the other day. "My husband said that our marriage is like music; even when you can't hear the song, you still have the strings." Or something like that.