His advice for a happy marriage is to make like R. Kelly and hang out in high-school parking lots. "You got to marry these girls when they are about 15 or 16. They'll pick your ducks." (No, "pick your ducks" is not sexual innuendo—Robertson is talking about cleaning the feathers off of dead birds, a miserable task often left to women to perform.) "You need to check with mom and dad about that of course," sage Robertson wisely advises, but he does not explain how to convince the parents of teenage girls to let them marry grown men who are tired of cleaning their own dead birds.