Ladies: Did you/will you take your husband's last name?

[CosmicCowboy]

My mom & dad got divorced when I was 2 and she kept his name so that all of us girls would have the same last name. Then when she remarried 20 years later She continued use that name professionally since it was what she was known by. Her 2nd husband didn't mind. She only used his last name socially.

yeah...in my sisters case there were no kids involved, but I can certainly understand it in that case...

And to answer the original question, I wouldn't have minded if my SO had kept her maiden name.

[turambar85]

I have had a few arguments with people in my family on this issue, and just for the sake of making a point, and throwing my fiancee a bone, I may just take her name when we get married.

Michael Ball, has a ring to it.

Any thoughts? Just to make things easier on you, I expect to be called a pussy, whipped, etc...so if you want to do any good I better get some reasons.

[Lady Marmalade]

I want to take my boyfriends name. I love my first and middle names together so I wouldn't drop my middle name and use my last name as a middle name. I want to take his last name one because it's unique. Which my last name is too but I like his better, he's an E and I'm a W. So I get to jump all those letters in the ABCs. In addition, I like the way his last name sounds with my name. Furthermore, there is no way I am going to hyphenate 8 and 9 letter last names. That would be torture for anyone calling me or sending me letters and most importantly for me to sign.

[ObiwanGinobili]

I took Emo's last name. We are our own family unit now and should share a name.
I took his since it was cooler than mine. If his name sounded weird with my 1st name than we may have just picked out a new name. Emo likes "falcon" ... thankgoodness we didn;t have to go that route.

But when we got married we were leaving our parents houses and making our own house together - we were becoming one flesh. So we should be united by one name.

[katyon6th]

But when we got married we were leaving our parents houses and making our own house together - we were becoming one flesh. So we should be united by one name.

That sounds creepy.

[Squid]

Marriage in general is a little creepy.

[sickdsm]

I didn't read the whole thing but i'd be very intersted to see divorce rates for woment that kept there first name or hyphenated it versus women that changed it.

I'd be willing to bet money that its higher since one of the main reaasons for doing so is a want to still be independent and known for you versus being known as a couple or better yet, one.

[Bob Lanier]

There's nothing wrong about divorce. But given that in your country divorce rates are generally higher in the more socially conservative areas where women would presumably be more likely to have their names changed, I'd take that bet.

There's no contradiction between independence and being a couple - none at all. Trying to trap two people in an absolutely codependent relationship (i.e., "one") is, in my experience, in the majority of cases a very unhealthy idea even if it appeals to their sense of archaic romanticism.

But all of that's getting a little far afield. Sometimes a name is just a name, and having it changed for whatever reason is harmless - as is not going to the trouble.

[sickdsm]

There's nothing wrong about divorce. But given that in your country divorce rates are generally higher in the more socially conservative areas where women would presumably be more likely to have their names changed, I'd take that bet.

There's no contradiction between independence and being a couple - none at all. Trying to trap two people in an absolutely codependent relationship (i.e., "one") is, in my experience, in the majority of cases a very unhealthy idea even if it appeals to their sense of archaic romanticism.

But all of that's getting a little far afield. Sometimes a name is just a name, and having it changed for whatever reason is harmless - as is not going to the trouble.

nothing wrong with divorce? thats a rather lone opinion.


Crime, drug use, poverty call all be tied to divorce.

[Bob Lanier]

I very much doubt both of those assertions. As for "wrong", marriage - particularly the idealized version you seem to support - is a very unreasonable type of contract for the majority of people, and the divorce rates in just about every free country would tend not to support your view of my 'loneliness', the disingenuous religious rhetoric some of them might spout notwithstanding.

[judaspriestess]

No I will not but I am open to hyphenating my last name with his

[Das Texan]

if my wife whenever i get one doesnt take my last name i will be annoyed and will probably find a way to get back at her as a result of it.


if she wants to use her maiden name for business and professional purposes fine.

for personal business, its not.


my two cents.

[sickdsm]

I very much doubt both of those assertions. As for "wrong", marriage - particularly the idealized version you seem to support - is a very unreasonable type of contract for the majority of people, and the divorce rates in just about every free country would tend not to support your view of my 'loneliness', the disingenuous religious rhetoric some of them might spout notwithstanding.

Ahhhh, take a poll of how people feel when they get divorced and i think you'll be surprised. What's the point of getting married if divorce isn't a failure? Tax purposes? buddies? If its so 'unreasonable', people wouldn't do it. Very few people go into a marriage with the goal of divorcing so yes, it is a failure.


What do the divorce rates have to do with being a failure when comparing countries?


If the murder rate is less in Bigarda then Relichar, and Bigarda is a free country and Relichar is an oppressed dictatorship, does that mean that murder is not bad or good? Does it mean ANYTHING about the views on murder itself, not in containing or elemintating homicides but the views on it.


No.


If 76 % of murderer's are incoming call center employee's, that would lead us to believe theres a problem there, but countries leave us with policies, not personalities.