Moving in with your S.O.

[SpursWoman]

Well, that's good. I've seen a lot of people with separate accounts throw the, "I'll buy what I want...it's MY money" line.

We have everything split pretty much proportionately, and we have each others' back if we happen to be short for whatever reason ... so as long as the mortgage is paid, there's food in the fridge, and the utilities haven't been cut off ... I can trust him not to go spend it all on hookers and blow.

And we have each other's PIN number, if that counts.

[SpursWoman]

Never live with your S.O., even if you're married. Maintain separate residences and keep your relationship "open". It's the only way to live a sane and rewarding life.


Just my two cents.

[tlongII]

As long as you don't bring kids into the equation it doesn't matter. If you don't get along it will be relatively easy to rectify the situation.

[Flea]

Luvbones, I never lived with my husband before we married and we are going on 18 years. I never lived alone, went straight from my Mom's house to living with my husband. We have made it work and I don't have any regrets. However, like Melmart said.....you will wonder what it would have been like to live alone. I had to grow up while married and that did put a lot of stress on my marriage at times. My husband was 26 when we married and had been on his own since he was 17. My husband put up with a spoiled kid trying to find herself for many years. I am thankful he did.

[Flea]

I'll never understand why she buys $30 gold, snake-skin purses (exaggeration, but not really) or a fifth pair of black shoes...but this way I don't have to.

Because it's on sale and she is saving money.
My husband always tells me it's impossible to save money when you are spending it.

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

At one time in my life, I lived with 4 women.

It was pure .

Carry on.

[angel_luv]

Because it's on sale and she is saving money.
My husband always tells me it's impossible to save money when you are spending it.

My dad once told my mom that if she saved him any more money she was going to put him in the poor house.

[Shelly]

When I was living with my ex, our relationship was as close to a marriage as... well, as close as the law would allow... and we had a joint account to which we both contributed and from which all the household bills were paid. But we always also maintained separate accounts.

Two shopaholic women needing to ask permission (or, more accurately, make sure there would be enough left over to pay the rent) before making an impulse buy? That wouldn't have lasted too long.

I'm lucky in the sense that I don't have to ask him before I buy anything...within reason, of course. If it's a huge purchase, then that's discussed beforehand. All I need to know is if there's enough money in the checking account to cover it. He tends to move a lot of money to the savings.

, he doesn't even bat an eye at my Target spending sprees Which reminds me, I'm due for one!

[Shelly]

Never live with your S.O., even if you're married. Maintain separate residences and keep your relationship "open". It's the only way to live a sane and rewarding life.


Just my two cents.

[Flea]

My dad once told my mom that if she saved him any more money she was going to put him in the poor house.

[Flea]

I'm lucky in the sense that I don't have to ask him before I buy anything...within reason, of course. If it's a huge purchase, then that's discussed beforehand. All I need to know is if there's enough money in the checking account to cover it. He tends to move a lot of money to the savings.

, he doesn't even bat an eye at my Target spending sprees Which reminds me, I'm due for one!

That happened today. The new one at Stone Oak is open and I had a $5 off card that had to be used. Ofcourse Target got the better end of the deal with that offer!!

[marini martini]

Yeahhhhhhhhhhh! It opened, it opened.

[ploto]

The only thing those types of studies tell me is that it's more probable that people who live together first are more likely to get out of a relationship where they've grown apart than people who are more *old fashioned* and hang in there for convenience or habit or money or the children or whatever, but aren't necessarily happy.

Actually, studies show that people who live together before marriage have LESS happy marriages.

I understand your personal views, but they simply are not mine and this is a discussion- right? I would never live with someone outside of marriage and that is my belief. I also think that standing before a clergyman does make a significant difference. Again, my personal belief.

If someone asks a question on a message board they should not get mad when people answer it with views that are opposing. If the OP just wanted people to give her permission then she came to the wrong place.

[marini martini]

Yeahhhhhhhhhhh! It opened, it opened.

Sorry wrong thread!

Actually, me and my "nimrod" lived together w/his 2 kids & my one kid for exactly 1 year. Got married in '79, it was pretty cool......untlil he wants to retire next year.....So I need a in' job. So "Welcome to Walmart!"

[AFBlue]

That happened today. The new one at Stone Oak is open and I had a $5 off card that had to be used. Ofcourse Target got the better end of the deal with that offer!!

Damn Target will be the end of me....

[2Blonde]

I'm lucky in the sense that I don't have to ask him before I buy anything...within reason, of course. If it's a huge purchase, then that's discussed beforehand. All I need to know is if there's enough money in the checking account to cover it. He tends to move a lot of money to the savings.

, he doesn't even bat an eye at my Target spending sprees Which reminds me, I'm due for one!

We're pretty much the same way. My husband does the same thing with the savings account.

[mrsmaalox]

Case in point....my wife and I have seperate bank accounts because she works at a bank that requires it. But having two pots of money does help ease the tension when she comes home with $50 worth of clothing and jewelry from Target when she set out for toothpaste....and the same goes for me.

DAMN!!! How the can the woman get out of "Le Targhay" minus only 50 bucks?! My husband really wants to know!!!!

[mrsmaalox]

it was pretty cool......untlil he wants to retire next year.....So I need a in' job. So "Welcome to Walmart!"

I feel your pain; I find myself in a similar situation. But when it really gets you down just repeat to yourself, "House husband, house husband". I can hardly wait!!!!!!

[LuvBones]

wow, this turned out to be a pretty good discussion.Thanks for all the advice everyone.. I'm kind of scared to move out now but it's always good to think about the things mentioned in here.
About the living on my own thing.. I never really felt like living completely alone. Maybe it's because I grew up with a single parent who because of his work was hardly home. My dad has given me a lot of freedom as well as responsibilities as the oldest in the house (before spurfect came back ). Since I was 16 I have been preparing to make it on my own. My sister moved out at 18, lived with her boyfriend, and married at 22. She's 27 now and is still happily married. I feel like I'm ready to move out and see if this guy is my soulmate.. if not I always have my house to go back to. I bet it sucks having to go back home once you leave, but at least i'll learn from my own experience.

[AFBlue]

DAMN!!! How the can the woman get out of "Le Targhay" minus only 50 bucks?! My husband really wants to know!!!!

I was citing one example.

The most recent example happens to be today....

She went in to get some birthday gifts for her niece, but she didn't want the nephews (4) to get jealous....so she bought "back to school" gifts for the boys and "back to school" plus birthday gifts for the neice. I didn't look at the bill but I'm guessing it was well over $100.

She was suprised I didn't say anything, but I figure two things...

1) It was money she earned at her job that she used

2) If you're gonna spend money, spending it on family is a good way to do it....guess that's because I'm a family kinda guy.

So $100+ was the latest damage....

[midgetonadonkey]

wow, this turned out to be a pretty good discussion.Thanks for all the advice everyone.. I'm kind of scared to move out now but it's always good to think about the things mentioned in here.
About the living on my own thing.. I never really felt like living completely alone. Maybe it's because I grew up with a single parent who because of his work was hardly home. My dad has given me a lot of freedom as well as responsibilities as the oldest in the house (before spurfect came back ). Since I was 16 I have been preparing to make it on my own. My sister moved out at 18, lived with her boyfriend, and married at 22. She's 27 now and is still happily married. I feel like I'm ready to move out and see if this guy is my soulmate.. if not I always have my house to go back to. I bet it sucks having to go back home once you leave, but at least i'll learn from my own experience.

I thought your sister said she wasn't the marrying type?

[LuvBones]

I have sisters.

[midgetonadonkey]

I have sisters.

I get it now.

[LuvBones]

How clever you are.

[Bigzax]

bones, go out there, have some ing fun...mind yo bills and work your out issue by issue as they come...

everyone here had someone in their ear telling them what to do/what not to do, and we all ed up a little along the way anyway...just keep going forward and don't forget to laugh...