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Fear is no reason to believe something.
Choke yourself!
Fear is no reason to believe something.
not just that, how much belief does one have to have in order to cash in on 101's insurance policy?
is faith without works still faith?
and if not, then how much work must be done to get in?
You should watch The Mission w/ De Niro and Jeremy Irons.
Okay you s, I'm gonna let the master break it down for you
Carlin
When it comes to bull , big-time, major league bull , you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bull story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!
But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bull story. Holy !
But I want you to know something, this is sincere, I want you to know, when it comes to believing in God, I really tried. I really, really tried. I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is ed up.
Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is not good work. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Results like these do not belong on the résumé of a Supreme Being. This is the kind of you'd expect from an office temp with a bad at ude. And just between you and me, in any decently-run universe, this guy would've been out on his all-powerful ass a long time ago. And by the way, I say "this guy", because I firmly believe, looking at these results, that if there is a God, it has to be a man.
No woman could or would ever things up like this. So, if there is a God, I think most reasonable people might agree that he's at least incompetent, and maybe, just maybe, doesn't give a . Doesn't give a , which I admire in a person, and which would explain a lot of these bad results.
So rather than be just another mindless religious robot, mindlessly and aimlessly and blindly believing that all of this is in the hands of some spooky incompetent father figure who doesn't give a , I decided to look around for something else to worship. Something I could really count on.
And immediately, I thought of the sun. Happened like that. Overnight I became a sun-worshipper. Well, not overnight, you can't see the sun at night. But first thing the next morning, I became a sun-worshipper. Several reasons. First of all, I can see the sun, okay? Unlike some other gods I could mention, I can actually see the sun. I'm big on that. If I can see something, I don't know, it kind of helps the credibility along, you know? So everyday I can see the sun, as it gives me everything I need; heat, light, food, flowers in the park, reflections on the lake, an occasional skin cancer, but hey. At least there are no crucifixions, and we're not setting people on fire simply because they don't agree with us.
Sun worship is fairly simple. There's no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to compare clothing. And the best thing about the sun, it never tells me I'm unworthy. Doesn't tell me I'm a bad person who needs to be saved. Hasn't said an unkind word. Treats me fine. So, I worship the sun. But, I don't pray to the sun. Know why? I wouldn't presume on our friendship. It's not polite.
I've often thought people treat God rather rudely, don't you? Asking trillions and trillions of prayers every day. Asking and pleading and begging for favors. Do this, gimme that, I need a new car, I want a better job. And most of this praying takes place on Sunday His day off. It's not nice. And it's no way to treat a friend.
But people do pray, and they pray for a lot of different things, you know, your sister needs an operation on her crotch, your brother was arrested for defecating in a mall. But most of all, you'd really like to that hot little redhead down at the convenience store. You know, the one with the eyepatch and the clubfoot? Can you pray for that? I think you'd have to. And I say, fine. Pray for anything you want. Pray for anything, but what about the Divine Plan?
Remember that? The Divine Plan. Long time ago, God made a Divine Plan. Gave it a lot of thought, decided it was a good plan, put it into practice. And for billions and billions of years, the Divine Plan has been doing just fine. Now, you come along, and pray for something. Well suppose the thing you want isn't in God's Divine Plan? What do you want Him to do? Change His plan? Just for you? Doesn't it seem a little arrogant? It's a Divine Plan. What's the use of being God if every run-down shmuck with a two-dollar prayerbook can come along and up Your Plan?
And here's something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your prayers aren't answered. What do you say? "Well, it's God's will." "Thy Will Be Done." Fine, but if it's God's will, and He's going to do what He wants to anyway, why the bother praying in the first place? Seems like a big waste of time to me! Couldn't you just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? It's all very confusing.
So to get around a lot of this, I decided to worship the sun. But, as I said, I don't pray to the sun. You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Two reasons: First of all, I think he's a good actor, okay? To me, that counts. Second, he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn't around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that God was having trouble with.
For years I asked God to do something about my noisy neighbor with the barking dog, Joe Pesci straightened that sucker out with one visit. It's amazing what you can accomplish with a simple baseball bat.
So I've been praying to Joe for about a year now. And I noticed something. I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same 50% rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don't. Same as God, 50-50. Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe, the wishing well and the rabbit's foot, same as the Mojo Man, same as the Voodoo Lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles, it's all the same: 50-50. So just pick your supers ion, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself.
And for those of you who look to The Bible for moral lessons and literary qualities, I might suggest a couple of other stories for you. You might want to look at the Three Little Pigs, that's a good one. Has a nice happy ending, I'm sure you'll like that. Then there's Little Red Riding Hood, although it does have that X-rated part where the Big Bad Wolf actually eats the grandmother. Which I didn't care for, by the way. And finally, I've always drawn a great deal of moral comfort from Humpty Dumpty. The part I like the best? "All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again." That's because there is no Humpty Dumpty, and there is no God. None, not one, no God, never was.
In fact, I'm gonna put it this way. If there is a God, may he strike this audience dead! See? Nothing happened. Nothing happened? Everybody's okay? All right, tell you what, I'll raise the stakes a little bit. If there is a God, may he strike me dead. See? Nothing happened, oh, wait, I've got a little cramp in my leg. And my balls hurt. Plus, I'm blind. I'm blind, oh, now I'm okay again, must have been Joe Pesci, huh? God Bless Joe Pesci. Thank you all very much. Joe Bless You!
Carlin is absolute gold, and it's a shame he's not around anymore to drop common sense upon the head of a world filled with sheep and slack-jawed morons
I prefer the Mormon's idea. I want my own planet to rule over not some nebulous idea of happiness.
This is called 'Pascals Wager'.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pascal's_Wager
Edit: Poster above mentioned Pascal's Wager.
This is a logical fallacy, and is called Pascal's Wager.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pascal's_Wager
It is, of course, wrong, because who's to say that whoever's upstairs isn't extremely jealous of Christ's popularity, and reserves punishment only for Christians?
Cmon 101A, you should know better than this.
What a tragic thread.
America is by far in a much worst shape than previously thought.
I pray for God's blessing though.
Keeping prayer in school is our last shot and hopefully the next line of young ones keep God in their lives.
Man, America is going to the dumps.
Jacob, follow your heart man. Jesus Christ is THE ONLY way.
....I am outta here
Last edited by TheManFromAcme; 03-10-2010 at 08:01 AM.
rofl, equating america's greatness with how many people do or don't believe in god and prayer in schools...What a tragic thread.
America is by far in a much worst shape than previously thought.
I pray for God's blessing though.
Keeping prayer in school is our last shot and hopefully the next line of young ones keep God in their lives.
Man, America is going to the dumps.
Jacob, follow your heart man. Jesus Christ is THE ONLY way.
....I am outta here
fail
Is it possible to be an evil believer?
But believing in God does not make you automatically a good person. Look at the old Italian Mafioso dudes. They loved the church and God and prayed and all that , and yet they would kill you in a heartbeat.
Last edited by SAGambler; 03-10-2010 at 12:24 PM.
Based on this post, I'd say our educational system is by far in a much worse shape than previously thought.
Agreed.
I find myself feeling sad that so many young children are indoctrinated at an early age, before they have a chance to decide for themselves what path their spirituality will take.
Kobol = Kolob
I think I've come to a better understanding. I'm conflicted between being an agnostic and a Christian.
If you want an inter-denominational, realistic breakdown of the major tenets of Christianity, to really understand the basics, then I recommend a book again that has been recommended. Mere Christianity, by CS Lewis. You may read it, put it down and say 'Nope, I don't buy that' but at least it's not colored by so much of the bull that Christianity is divided over (and wrongly, imo).
There are plenty of flavors to choose from, if you feel it has to be Christianity or nothing, because everyone relies on different things as being more or less important to the faith.
I myself tend be a theist, in that I believe in the existence of God, but allow that there may be many paths to God. I think every religion hits some points on target and gets some wrong, including Christianity. I think it's none of my business what another person chooses to believe or practice, so long as it doesn't negatively impact another.
Yo, children are indoctrinated with all sorts of at an early age. If telling them God is like Santa, watching everything you do to make sure you're nice, at least it buys a little time before they run their lives into the ground. Letting them know their freedom at an early age is NOT a good idea... , even some adults can't handle the concept.
True. I will say that IMO, the only things kids should be indoctrinated with is a sense of right and wrong. Religion is simply not needed in order to achieve this goal
At least kids grow out of the whole Santa, naughty or nice phase
If you first heard a story about a guy who wasn't a person who had a son who was also himself (???) who was born of a virgin, brought a guy back to life after he had been dead long enough to stink, then died, then came back to life 3 days later, and you heard it once you had reached the age of reason, how the would you believe it?
with the ability to turn water into wine.....
an all powerful lush.
Religion never does stand up to logical analysis. Guy get nailed to a tree, dies, is put in a cave, and pops out 3 days later. Yeah, right.
Whatever happened to GOATcob1983? tbh
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