Corny Joke of the day

[silverblk mystix]

Duck walks into a bar, walks up to the bartender and says: got any grapes?

NO - says the bartender and the duck walks out.

Next day the duck walks into the same bar and approaches the bartender-gets up on the bar and says: got any grapes?

No-says the bartender and the duck turns around and walks out again.

Next day -the same thing and this time the bartender says-

NO- I don't have any grapes and if you come back again and ask me that again, I will nail your feet to the in' bar. Duck walks out again.

Next day ...duck walks into the same bar and approaches the bartender, climbs on the bar and asks the bartender: got any NAILS?


*****

On christmas eve, when Santa and the reindeer go out and deliver presents...what do Mrs. Santa Claus and the female reindeer do?

They go into town and blow a few bucks.

[Skywalker]

Where do cows go on Friday night?






To the mooo-vies.

[The Reckoning]

Golf and Public Restroom Rules:

10. Keep your back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart.

9. Form a loose grip.

8. Keep your head down.

7. Avoid a quick backswing.

6. Stay out of the water.

5. Try not to hit anybody.

4. If you are taking too long, you should let others go ahead of you.

3. You shouldn't stand directly in front of others.

2. Be quiet while others are about to go.

1. Keep strokes to a minimum.

i was standing at a urinal the other day in the PCL when a little asian ran up to the one next to me. we were the only ones in the restroom. so i kept to my business, and the little guy farted ridiculously loud without a any attempt to hold it in at all. then he ran out. i felt violated. is that against some kind of bathroom rule?

[Slomo]

A little boy is crying in the street.

A man approaches him and asks: "What's wrong little boy?"

Little boy: "My Mom died!"

Man: "That's terrible, do you want me to call someone? Your priest maybe?"

Little boy: "No don't, I really don't feel like having sex right now"

[Trainwreck2100]

Woah for a second there i thought that asshole experiment2100 was back

[I. Hustle]

Cowgo

[I. Hustle]

What do nosey peppers do?


Get jalapeño business

[SpursforSix]

a child asks his dad, "will you lose weight when they get those things out of your back?"
the amused dad replies, "what things?"
the child answers, "the bunnies with no eyes or hair"