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  1. #76
    Veteran SpursforSix's Avatar
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    haha

  2. #77
    Believe. Judy Booty's Avatar
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    Dear Diary,

    Forgive my French but what a poopy weekend.

    Larry came home from the police department drunk. He drank 3 of the beers that we were supposed to enjoy on Memorial Day. He wouldn't even talk to me about any progress in the Little Reuben case. He came right home and took the rest of the beer to the garage. I didn't see him the rest of the night. I only know that he came to bed at some point because he peed and soiled all on the sheets. When I woke up, he was of course already in the garage. He must of still been drunk because around noon (on Saturday), he said he had to the school to work. I was so mad that I just let him go. On top of all that, he has now subscribed to several video game magazines. I don't know how we'll even pay for them. I'm sure it will come down to me giving up either my monthly mom's day to Braums or not being able to have our weekly pigs in blanket feast.

    After I told Les about what Larry did, she didn't bring the blessings over on Memorial Day. I don't blame her diary. Mason stayed home for a while but Larry just kept asking him about video games. It's so weird. I will put my foot down if he thinks he is going to buy one of those things.

    I guess the only positive thing that happened was Stan coming over on Friday. He showed me how to slip the lock on the garage with a credit card. He is so smart! And funny! Ever since I saw his erection, things have been awkward but they seem to be getting better. Oh and diary...I didn't wear a bra!!!

    Anway...here's looking for a better week. Les lent me Home Improvement tapes so I'll have that handy Tim Allen to keep me company. Also, Les invited me to have dinner with them on Thursday night!

    And diary...pray for me to have the courage to go into the garage. I just get so tired of having to use my phone for the internet.

  3. #78
    VanillaPlayerFan BD24's Avatar
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    A couple good tidbits in there. One of them is Larry being a lightweight and getting wasted off three beers

  4. #79
    Watching the collapse benefactor's Avatar
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    Texas Longhorns

  5. #80
    4-25-20 Will Hunting's Avatar
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    Still funny, but not your best work, Judy.

  6. #81
    Veteran chunticakes's Avatar
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    Laredo, TX
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    Dear Diary,

    Forgive my French but what a poopy weekend.

    Larry came home from the police department drunk. He drank 3 of the beers that we were supposed to enjoy on Memorial Day. He wouldn't even talk to me about any progress in the Little Reuben case. He came right home and took the rest of the beer to the garage. I didn't see him the rest of the night. I only know that he came to bed at some point because he peed and soiled all on the sheets. When I woke up, he was of course already in the garage. He must of still been drunk because around noon (on Saturday), he said he had to the school to work. I was so mad that I just let him go. On top of all that, he has now subscribed to several video game magazines. I don't know how we'll even pay for them. I'm sure it will come down to me giving up either my monthly mom's day to Braums or not being able to have our weekly pigs in blanket feast.

    After I told Les about what Larry did, she didn't bring the blessings over on Memorial Day. I don't blame her diary. Mason stayed home for a while but Larry just kept asking him about video games. It's so weird. I will put my foot down if he thinks he is going to buy one of those things.

    I guess the only positive thing that happened was Stan coming over on Friday. He showed me how to slip the lock on the garage with a credit card. He is so smart! And funny! Ever since I saw his erection, things have been awkward but they seem to be getting better. Oh and diary...I didn't wear a bra!!!

    Anway...here's looking for a better week. Les lent me Home Improvement tapes so I'll have that handy Tim Allen to keep me company. Also, Les invited me to have dinner with them on Thursday night!

    And diary...pray for me to have the courage to go into the garage. I just get so tired of having to use my phone for the internet.

  7. #82
    Believe. Judy Booty's Avatar
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    76
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    Dear Diary,

    I'm so excited! Last night, Larry came home and told me we were going to have a live in maid!!!! Which seems like it would cost an arm and a leg. But he said that she's going to work for free because she's from overseas and needs a place to stay while she enjoys America! The bad part is that she is apparently on the run from her government for relegious reasons or something. So she'll have to stay hidden here for a while. To make sure she doesn't' accidentally get caught, Larry installed a new key lock on the door to the garage. He was going to pick her up tomorrow I think. He said he really appreciates how much I do and that he just wants me to have a smaller burden. I'm so excited to meet her!

    And what a fine day it was yesterday. Stan came over and brought his DVD player and some movies. He knew I was pretty sad about not getting to have Netflix. We watched a movie called, The Help. Oh diary, it was so funny. But it was also so uplifting. There was this one colored woman who always said the funniest things. But it was also kind of a sad movie at times. The same funny lady pooped into a pie and made this sweet white woman eat the pie. I can see why the blacks get a bad rap.

    Anyway, going to Les's tonight for dinner. I can't wait to see the Precious Blessings! I'm taking over my famous Mac and Cheese. The blessings love it! I still won't give Les the secret recipe. It's Kraft Mac and Cheese BUT diary, I add 12 pieces of Kraft American to it. I've thought about entering it at the local fair. It's so yummy!

    I'm so happy I feel like singing!

  8. #83
    VanillaPlayerFan BD24's Avatar
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    pretty good

    your over doing the blessings piece a bit, good stuff though

  9. #84
    Savvy Veteran spurraider21's Avatar
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    famous mac and cheese

  10. #85
    Veteran chunticakes's Avatar
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    Anybody else read it in their heads in a white trash voice?

  11. #86
    Veteran SpursforSix's Avatar
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    Anybody else read it in their heads in a white trash voice?
    Y'all nigs don's sleep on Stan. And don't skim over his stories. They make me laugh.

  12. #87
    4-25-20 Will Hunting's Avatar
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    "I can see why the blacks get a bad rap"

  13. #88
    Veteran
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    Y'all nigs don's sleep on Stan. And don't skim over his stories. They make me laugh.

    He's a side character being forced into a leading role with his poutry. A+ side character, B- main character.

  14. #89
    We've got a job to do. Darth_Pelican's Avatar
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  15. #90
    Veteran SpursforSix's Avatar
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    He's a side character being forced into a leading role with his poutry. A+ side character, B- main character.
    If you haven't noticed, he's writing a short story.

  16. #91
    Veteran
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    If you haven't noticed, he's writing a short story.
    I'm going to be shamelessly drunk by the river in about 4 hours. I will try and catch up on it then.

  17. #92
    Veteran
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    Yeah...fead a little more from Stan...He's just not that talented, makes sense that he's friends with Avante. Definitely a side character best used via Judy's anecdotes.

  18. #93
    Veteran SpursforSix's Avatar
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    Yeah...fead a little more from Stan...He's just not that talented, makes sense that he's friends with Avante. Definitely a side character best used via Judy's anecdotes.
    Man...I think Stan is great. All the inconsistencies. Hanging up the phone and still talking. Having the helicopter pilot get in the back seat while the copter is presumably in air.
    In any event, I think it's heading somewhere.

  19. #94
    Veteran
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    Man...I think Stan is great. All the inconsistencies. Hanging up the phone and still talking. Having the helicopter pilot get in the back seat while the copter is presumably in air.
    In any event, I think it's heading somewhere.
    You also think Beats are great.

  20. #95
    Watching the collapse benefactor's Avatar
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    Anybody else read it in their heads in a white trash voice?
    Every single time.

  21. #96
    Believe. Judy Booty's Avatar
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    76
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    Dear Diary,

    Oh...the feast we had last night!!! For appetizers, Les had prepared some pigs-in-blanket with cheese. Since the oven was in use, she improvised and cut up some whole wheat bread and wrapped it around the cheese and sausages and microwave it. It was so delicious that I'm saving that recipe. For the main course, we had fish sticks and my mac and cheese. And cinnamon toast with extra butter for dessert. YUMMMM!!!!! I thought I was going to burst.

    After dinner, we had some coffee and played Candy Land. Of course, I tried to let the blessings win but I'm just too good at it.
    After that we put the kids down and watched a couple episodes of from their Andy Griffith collection. It's amazing how simple and fun life was back then without the coloreds and the Mexicans.

    The icing on the cake to my perfect evening was that Chris never showed up.

    We're supposed to get our live in maid this weekend. I asked Larry if I need to get any bedding or sheets. He said, no...just a few chains and some coloring books and then started laughing. He can be so weird. I never get his jokes.
    And he never would tell me what happened at the police station. I still pray every night for Little Reuben.

    Hopefully, I can see Stan next week. Need to find some things around the house that need to be fixed. Shouldn't be too hard.

    Anyway...happy day dear friend.

  22. #97
    Veteran SpursforSix's Avatar
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    You also think Beats are great.
    You can either follow Stan or not. It's going somewhere is all I can say.

  23. #98
    Savvy Veteran spurraider21's Avatar
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    decent filler episode

  24. #99
    Veteran chunticakes's Avatar
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    You also think Beats are great.
    the Persian is right.

    Lol Beats. Although I always thought you were trolling SpursforSix.

  25. #100
    Veteran
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    You can either follow Stan or not. It's going somewhere is all I can say.
    On pace to lose steam faster than a Mississippi Riverboat with Avant's family reunion onboard.

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