I could sit here and write a book about my journey in and out of the Christian faith, but I'll keep it short. I was indoctrinated as a kid, went my own way as a teen and into college, came back again in my 20's, ran through several different denominations, oversaw several different ministries, studied extensively many different theological viewpoints and studied the Bible back to the best versions of original language available for those scriptures, believed God was leading me and was speaking to me(not audibly but more feeling/intuition based), thought my prayers were the reason things happened for people...again...I could go on and on.
Two things happened that made my faith crumble...first, I was too fact based in my thinking to keep blindly believing faith based ideas. There was a lot that didn't add up and the "well God is mysterious/all things with God are possible" line got harder and harder to swallow. That leads into the second thing...the internet age which allowed information to be accessed that I didn't have before and unlike my brethren, I was open minded enough to read and consider it over what I had always been told to think. There was just way too much evidence that led me to understand that Christianity was just like what Christians said other religions were...a bunch of things made up by people to provide a level of psychological comfort while simultaneously controlling them.
Afterwards I spent countless hours showing fellow Christians the things I had come to understand but I wouldn't get far into the conversation before cognitive dissonance set in and they simply shut down and wouldn't hear anything else I have to say. I figured out you can't make someone leave their faith. They have to already a seed of uncertainty planted for the tree of reality to grow. Sagan was right...it's simply too painful for them to admit that this thing they believe in and rely on day to day is a lie like every other faith. It was plenty tough for me to admit too, but authenticity became more important than the feeling of loss I had to process when I walked away.
Oh...and before the card gets played...let me guess...I was never really saved, right?