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I'm going to go with clambake and recommend the mossberg.
My now ex-fiancee recently ended our engagement and gave me the ring back. I proposed on Christmas Eve and pretty much moved in to her house at that point with her permission. I was slowly emptying out my apartment. She encouraged me to facilitate the process of getting out of my lease and completing the move-in so I could begin contributing financially to her household expenses and mortgage. We were after all planning on getting married at that point. Here's the timeline:
Monday, February 29th: she encourages me to contact my landlord and figure out what it will take to get out of my lease early.
Tuesday, March 1st: My landlord tells me to find a subletter. I put up an ad on Craigslist. I immediately find a guy willing to take over my lease.
Saturday, March 5th: I completely empty out my apartment. I give away a lot of my stuff, such as my bed, and other household appliances, like coffee maker, silverware, dishes, etc, because it will be redundant at her house.
Sunday, March 6th: We unpack and put all my stuff away at her house.
Monday, March 7th: She doesn't come home till 1 am, highly unusual for her.
Tuesday, March 8th: She doesn't come home at all. Supposedly spending the night with "girlfriends," or so she claims over text.
Wednesday, March 9th: She comes home at 7 am while I'm getting ready for work and tells me we went too fast in getting engaged, she doesn't feel we are compatible, she wants to go back to "just dating." I am upset at this and cool my heels the next couple days at a friend's house.
Saturday, March 12th: I return to the house and at this point she informs me that we're done and gives me the ring back.
I strongly suspect she is currently canoodling with an ex at this point, but I don't care. After how things played out, I'm glad it's over and ready to move on.
In late February a couple weeks before all this happened, she bought a brand new car. Her old car is a 2007 Acura TSX. She did not trade it in; instead she held onto it and planned to turn it over to her mechanic brother to fix up and prep for sale. Shortly before she encouraged me to get out of my lease, she gave me permission to drive it on a regular basis since her Acura is nicer than my car. I did not ask to drive it; she instead basically said I could if I wanted, and since it's nicer than my car, I took her up on the offer. One night shortly before the events listed above, we were leaving the house to go to the grocery store. I was driving her old TSX. As I was backing out of the driveway, I clipped the side of the garage door wall backing out and put a small but visible dent in the front panel above the right front passenger wheel. I scratched up a little bit of the paint as well.
Since we broke up, we have only communicated for logistical items such as me moving out. Because the subletter had only submitted his application and not paid the security deposit, I was able to hold onto my apartment and get it back. She did give me her guest bed to replace the one I gave away, but I still had to spend about $300 at Target refurnishing items I gave or threw away, such as shower curtain, cleaning supplies, coffee maker, laundry hamper, etc, etc.
She did give me the ring back. I still owe $2600 from financing it and after speaking with a couple of diamond experts, I can probably only expect to recoup about $1000-$1200 in a sale.
Tonight she contacted me over text with this: "I will have an estimate on the TSX soon. I think the fair thing is to split it. Thanks in advance."
Because she was planning on selling it, she removed comprehensive coverage on the vehicle a week before the garage mishap happened. It only had liability at the time. I don't think that's on me.
I just want some opinions on what I am obligated here legally, ethically and morally when it comes to repairing her car. I have not and did not plan on asking her to split the remaining costs on the ring financing, or the $300 I spent refurnishing my apartment. She is pretty far from my favorite person at the moment, but I don't want to shirk what is ethically my responsibility. Is it fair to in turn ask her to split the cost of refurnishing my apartment, or to ask her for $1300 to cover what's left on what I owe for the ring? I kind of consider the ring and refurnishing my apartment my problem and not hers, and her repairing her car her problem and not mine. I had her permission to drive the car and I was not the one who removed comprehensive coverage on the vehicle. I also had to refund the subletter his $50 application fee. If we are going this route, I think it's fair to ask her to cover that as well.
I'm going to go with clambake and recommend the mossberg.
Can she take me to small claims court over this? If she wants to go down this route, I want to ask her for $1650 to cover what her decision to break things off cost me.
Sorry.
You drove it, your broke it, you pay for it.
The rest doesn't really matter.
Good luck with that. Hard to prove you need to be reimbursed for a broken engagement.
Can I dock the $350 I spent as a result of her asking me to move out? She asked me to get out of my lease and I had to refund the $50 app fee. I also had to spend money refurnishing my apartment. It wouldn't have been necessary to do so if she had told me to hold onto my things and my apartment. I do feel ethically and morally she's just as liable for that as I am for the car.
Is this a moral or legal question?
Sounds like you'd have to sue and or counter sue to sort it all out
Blake get in here
I think Wild Cobra is right, but what I'm thinking of replying with is "yes, I think it's fair to split the cost of repairs, but I also think it's fair to split the cost of the refunded app fee and refurnishing my apartment, so I'll split the cost of repairs minus $175."
Ahalready did.
It was your decision.
If she asked you to jump of a cliff...
You can get your stuff completely out, and refuse to pay her anything. Give her a guilt trip if that what makes you feel like a man. She may choose not to sue. You may or may not end up paying anything to her.
She is probably ing the mechanic and they'll have you split a ridiculous bill just for kicks.
It was done under the impression both parties were operating in good faith. Asking me to break my lease and then 8 days later telling me to move out is not operating in good faith.
So you should her mechanic boyfriend, suck his better then she ever could. Agree to the split and have him jack the price up on her. Then you turn him over to one of those Christian anti-gay camps to make him hate himself forever.
Well the mechanic is her brother, so I doubt that. I think she's shacked up again with her ex, but that's really neither here nor there.
Looks like you don't think for yourself. You did what she asked. Maybe when you moved in, she saw other things unappealing to her.
What if, you were different than what she was thought she was getting? Maybe the short time the two of you lived together, she decided she wanted no more of it?
happens.
Tell her no ing way then. That gonna bleed you dry after she talks all kinds of about how badly you treated her.
Again...
happens.
Move on, get over it.
Your anger is putting all the power in her hands.
We lived together for 3 months before she told me she wanted me to get out of my lease. She had plenty of time to decide she did not like the arrangement and wanted to end things, but instead put me in a tough spot. I do not believe that the first time the thought occurred to her that we should not cohabit was in the 72 hour period after I finished emptying my apartment out and she asked me to leave.
Pay her in pennies
Should ask Huey Freeman, tbh
He's an expert with relationship things.
I reluctantly agree with Wild Cobra that I am liable for splitting the cost of repairs, but I think it's also fair that we split the cost of the refunded app fee and what it cost me to refurnish the apartment. The first time the thought occurred to her that this wasn't what she wanted wasn't after I emptied out my apartment and finished moving in.
If there wasn't a police report it didn't happen.
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