Republican Principles
I'm a Republican Because...
I BELIEVE the strength of our nation lies with the individual and that each person’s dignity, freedom, ability and responsibility must be honored. sounds good
I BELIEVE in equal rights, equal justice and equal opportunity for all, regardless of race, creed, sex, age or disability. also good, but not very true as it applies to economic station
I BELIEVE free enterprise and encouraging individual initiative have brought this nation opportunity, economic growth and prosperity. true
I BELIEVE government must practice fiscal responsibility and allow individuals to keep more of the money they earn. laughable and wholly untrue
I BELIEVE the proper role of government is to provide for the people only those critical functions that cannot be performed by individuals or private organizations, and that the best government is that which governs least. true in theory, completely unpracticed
I BELIEVE the most effective, responsible and responsive government is government closest to the people. bull
I BELIEVE Americans must retain the principles that have made us strong while developing new and innovative ideas to meet the challenges of changing times. whatever that means
I BELIEVE Americans value and should preserve our national strength and pride while working to extend peace, freedom and human rights throughout the world. Republicans using the word "peace" as it pertains to foreign policy is also incredibly laughable
FINALLY, I believe the Republican Party is the best vehicle for translating these ideals into positive and successful principles of government. mantra making...the only thing you need is a mirror or a large group and this can be repeated ad nauseam

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Yeah...I'm sure some parents are willing to absorb a momentary look of stupidity if it meant that if for some reason in reality it goes the other direction.