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You emo puss. You need to drop that happened when you were teenagers. Do you use that double dildo thing when you two have sex for both your vaginas?
yup
Last edited by MiamiHeat; 09-19-2009 at 11:16 AM.
You emo puss. You need to drop that happened when you were teenagers. Do you use that double dildo thing when you two have sex for both your vaginas?
And you guys are... what? 15? 16 years old?
Edit: You're 26? Holy crap. Ask her why she's depressed. Straight up. If she can't figure it out, then it's probably not you. If she delays, it's probably you.
I'd just act like everything is normal til she gets out of the funk.
She lost my trust about 5-6 years ago. We have been trying to work at it since. It's gotten a lot better.
And right now, I am ready to give her all my trust 100% again and just move on and be happy.
I just need her to be happy and normal again, and I'll take care of the rest.
yup, I already know now I just have to give her all my trust again and be NORMAL again.
Just remember, when she met me, I trusted her 100%.
Anyway, I told her all this, everything will be fine. but she is still sad.
Sounds like yall got married too young. I was with my first wife from the time she was 16yrs old till we divorced when she was 30yrs old. She started being depressed years into our marriage..............said it was her, not me. She didnt even have a good reason why she was unhappy. Well, she ended up having an affair. I think she was curious what it was like to date other people, since we were together just about her whole teen and adult life. Basically there is nothing you can do to make your wife feel better. She probably feels like she missed out on a chunk of her life. At least IMHO.
If she lost your trust, there's no point in being together. How long are you going to wait to make her gain it back?
Maybe she's depressed because, 6 years after the fact, you're still bringing up the fact you don't trust her over a ING PIZZA.
If you “trust her 100%” then why bring that dumb up again? You sound like a f’n 15 year old. You two must be really fat.
Mark this thread, because it is the one time I am wholeheartedly agreeing with whottt.
I already told her. It's done, it's finished. Everyone makes mistakes, she made them, I made them. I am ready to trust her 100% again and preserve our happiness at all times. She knows I never lie, but she just feels sad. I don't know what to do, I don't want to lose our relationship, and she says she doesn't want to lose me either. She says she loves me but just feels empty.
Good point I Hustle. Who puts percentages on trust?"Let's see baby... your trust percentage is rising! Good news! However, that is somewhat countered by your slight dip in "BJ Enthusiasm" and nosedive in "Spontaneous Flashing". You'll have to work on those two before I can bump up your overall rating."
If she was gone for an hour, I would hardly call that disappearing-especially since you stated she devotes the majority of her time to you. I.E. " we do everything together."
And as she has never cheated on you- I don't know on what grounds you justify your severe su ion.
Last night I went out shopping by myself. I didn't think to leave a note ( I am not used to being married and having someone who is interested in my daily coming and goings). I was not home when my husband came home from work, and actually didn't get home until after eight pm.
The second I walked in the door, my husband said, " Hey honey! Great to see you. " All he wanted to know was if I had enjoyed my shopping and if I was happy with what I had bought.
Give your girl friend some space. Grown ups like that. You are her friend and companion- not her parent, baby sitter, or jail keeper.
Futhermore, forgiving a person means not holding the past against them and moving forward as if no wrong was done to you.
If you cannot do both of those things, then you are not ready to forgive someone and cannot say that you have- in my opinion.
You didn't read my posts. I trusted her 100% when she met me. She did some stupid things to lose my trust. I am ready NOW to move on permanently from it, she just needs to be normal again.
When I wanted to break up with her for the stupid things she did to lose my trust, she cried her eyes out and even wanted to kill herself. She said it was me or nobody. She NEVER wants anyone else. She doesn't even want to think about it.
When I saw how much she loved me, that made me want to try again. Ok, you just made a mistake then. Let's make everything okay. And I always gave her a chance and I was normal again and we'd be happy again.
Why won't she give me that chance now?
Here's what you need to practice MiamiHeat.
It's called "active listening". Listen to what she says, then repeat them back to her until she makes her feelings more clear.
For instance, if she says, "I feel empty," you respond back with something like, "What do you mean by feeling empty? Can you describe it for me?"
Then, if she explains it, determine if there is some pattern to it. Is it when she thinks about a certain thing? Certain times of the year? When DOESN'T she feel that way? Etc etc
Also, realize that NO couple is happy all the time. Every couple gets into fights, feels ty, depressed, etc etc occasionally. That's normal, and healthy unless you're a robot. So don't try to force your relationship onto some pedestal, because it might be exacerbating the issue. (She may be depressed because not only does she feel she hasn't earned your love/trust, but the fact that she's depressed may lead her to think she's not being a good wife BECAUSE she's depressed, and depress her further.)
You have great points, but she was the one who started this whole spending all of our time together. I enjoy it too, but I used to ask her, "Do you want to spend less time together and go do other things?" and she said no. She loves being with me and it makes her happy. The only thing she wanted in life is to be with me and build a life together.
I got used to it.
But yeah, I am ready to completely forgive and just trust her again, I told her this. But she is just sad.
What do I do
So, back when MiamiHeat was a teenager, his girlfriend had a male friend he didn't like. He insisted she stop talking to him. To normal people, this would be considered manipulative and controlling. To him, this is a matter of "trust."
So, apparently he tried to break up with ther, but when she demonstrated her desperation to keep him, he relented. The desperation is what he wants. He wants someone to control. He calls this "love."
In the meantime, he continues to hold those pathetically minor transgressions from the past over her head, as a means to control her, so that she is always seeking his ever-elusive "trust."
He demands to know where she is at all times. Any unaccounted time causes a "problem."
And no, he doesn't yell. The psychopath never yells. But she can never tell whether the change in his voice means somehow she upset him again over some inconsequntial thing, or if he's just tired.
So now, after years of systematic psychological destruction at his hands, she's empty.
It appears that maybe, just maybe, she is close to breaking free from this six-year nightmare.
And understandably, the psychopath MiamiHeat is feeling a sense of loss. She meets his needs. If she is not there, his needs are not being met. This is bad. Why can she not understand that he needs his needs met? It's been 14 days!
Yeesh, that's a warning sign and a half. You should never let someone blackmail you into love.
You should probably talk about counseling with her, but after you do that active listening I mentioned above.
It's obvious she is trying to break up with you and doesn't have the nerve to straight up tell you. You've had her under lock and key for a half dozen years and she wants her freedom. You've used a couple of minor incidents (which were born from your insecurities) to torture her ever since.
She realized that with you she'll be emotionally manipulated forever. You call her a homebody but that's likely your doing. She'd probably like to get out of the house and go to a club at least once in her life.You've controlled her whole life and she's trying to send you not-so-subtle hints that she doesn't want to continue.
Your only hope is to give her space to live. I'm talking a couple years. You need to grow up and she needs to explore the world. At that point perhaps she will circle around back to you. Maybe not. But if you keep going down this road you are going to make her even more miserable and this episode will repeat itself more and more often.
Cut the cord, hope for the best and in the mean time figure out what makes you so insecure so that you can stop that type of behavior in the future.
Good luck.
Wow ES,
This is great and has the potential to end up a classic.
If you really want it to work out then let another dude hit it. She needs to know what another cawk feels like. Maybe when they are done he will stick it in your vaj too.
The guy was talking crap about me to her and her friends (who told me what was saying) and then he was trying to get her to spend more time with him. When I would show up to hang out and be with my girl, he would get up and say "Oh great, gotta go then. Bye -insert my girl name-"
It's an old trick. He was hurting our relationship and belittling me. Everyone thought the same. I asked her to stop seeing him, and the first thing she did was go tell him what I said and then hang out again.
Yeah, that hurts.
The second thing she did was sit on another guy's lap while talking to me on the phone. She said she was going to look for a picture to show me, but instead, she was talking to some guy and play fighting with him. Didn't even tell me, was doing it behind my back. While she was 'looking for the picture', she was instead play fighting with this guy behind my back, didn't even mention she was hanging out with him, and was sitting on his lap.
That hurts too.
this thread shouldnt have gone pass 2 pages, wtf
That's not even close. I would give my life for her. He doesn't know what he's saying.Wow ES,
That's not TRUE AT ALL. I asked her MANY TIMES over the years, "we spend so much time together, do you want to spend a little less time together?"It's obvious she is trying to break up with you and doesn't have the nerve to straight up tell you. You've had her under lock and key for a half dozen years and she wants her freedom. You've used a couple of minor incidents (which were born from your insecurities) to torture her ever since.
She realized that with you she'll be emotionally manipulated forever. You call her a homebody but that's likely your doing. She'd probably like to get out of the house and go to a club at least once in her life.
Your only hope is to give her space to live. I'm talking a couple years. You need to grow up and she needs to explore the world. At that point perhaps she will circle around back to you. Maybe not. But if you keep going down this road you are going to make her even more miserable and this episode will repeat itself more and more often.
Cut the cord, hope for the best and in the mean time figure out what makes you so insecure so that you can stop that type of behavior in the future.
Good luck.
and she would be sad I even ASKED. When -I- ask time to go do something else, like play a video game or something, do you know what she does? She just sits next to me and wants to watch me and participate with me. SHE is the one who decided for herself. We decide EVERYTHING -TOGETHER-
You got it all wrong, man.
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