Survival

[Hook Dem]

HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SURVIVE ?

ONE - Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that
you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets so I asked
for a half dozen nuggets.

"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the
counter.

"You don't?" I replied.

"We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply.

"So, I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"

"That's right."

So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets


TWO - The paragraph above doesn't amaze me because of what
happened a couple of months ago. I was checking out at the local
Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her
things on the belt close to mine.

I picked up one of those "Dividers" that they keep by the cash
register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get
mixed.

After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the
"Divider" looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan
it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much
this is?"

I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don! 't think I'll buy
that today."

She said "OK" and I paid her for the things and left.

She had no clue to what had just happened


THREE - A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her
floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.

When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was
shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card
number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."


FOUR - I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her
car.

"Do you need some help?" I asked.

She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this
remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think
they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery
to fit this?"

"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked.

"No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the
car keys to me.

As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied,
"Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's
a long walk."


FIVE - Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too
swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said,
"I'm almost out of typing paper. "What do I do?"

"Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her.

With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of
paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank"
copies.


SIX - I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor
home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in
dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an
extra in Twister."

I asked the manager what had happened.

He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then
went in the back to make a sandwich.


SEVEN - My neighbor works in the operations department in the
central office of a large bank Employees in the field call him
when they have problems with their computers.

One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks
who had this question: I've got smoke coming from the back of my
terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"


EIGHT - Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect
by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with
wires to a photocopy machine The message "He's lying" was placed
in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they
thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.

Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."

[CharliesTicket]

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