worst sex u ever had?

[Samuel Eto'o]

This got to be the nastiest god damn thing I have ever read dude. Y'all pussy eatin motha as are a dirty breed.

Its the stupid whiteman thinking about people other than themselves again. Im with you homie. Im just tryin to get mine uknowwhatimsayin u better axe bout me

[lebomb]

SO I was smuggling in people from Guatamala and Honduras. I always pick out the firme ones to ride en frente. I pulled over at a mom and pop motel and, after I locked the truck, I took her. This puta hadn't take a chower for pinche days, guey. I smelled that chit when she was giving me head but I was driving and getting blown so I didn't notice too much. When che dropped those chones though... it was like Tparks and Mouses basura. It smelled like pickles that had been left out in the sun for 6 and a half days and dirty weed.
I threw that bish in the chower and scrubbed her with comet. Then... despues de todo eso, I took her to the bed and started to give her the chile. Don'tchoo know that puta died on me! I didn't know that che was smuggling coca in her stomach. I had her bent all crazy and must have busted the condom (not mine, I raw dog that chit) that was holding the soda porque che started chaking and foaming and chit. I thought I was just hitting it right but then che stopped moving.
I finished up then yust dumped her behind the motel. Chingo learned his lesson, guey. Next time I am asking the puta if che is smuggling drugs.

Come again??? I didnt understand a gottdayum thing you said

[lebomb]

This got to be the nastiest god damn thing I have ever read dude. Y'all pussy eatin motha as are a dirty breed.

Aint nuttin betta than a CLEAN pussy and ass sammich niggra!!!

[ididnotnothat]

I was like 22 and went to a party and hooked up with very, very full figured girl and the sex sucked. But I crashed and she sucked me off for breakfast.

[Augie]

It was with this really frigid chick in Maldives.

[Latarian Milton]

bro you got real lucky to a virgin tbh, assuming that the you ed was about the same age 16 and knowing that most american young es have lost their virginities by their 13th birthdays

[AussieFanKurt]

I was like 22 and went to a party and hooked up with very, very full figured girl and the sex sucked. But I crashed and she sucked me off for breakfast.

is very very full figured a kinder way of saying fat?

[Koolaid_Man]

well this was a pre-sex moment it just went from bad to worse...I was getting ready to this cute chic..lil pe e white girl...and she farted and sent me into shock waves...I was like gotdam girl you pack quite a punch...so I played it off and was like ok it...let's get down to business...so she blew me good...then I was about to eat her pussy and it smelled so bad I almost threw up in her crouch...I got up and ran to the bathroom...she said her period was about to start...so I came out the bathroom and was like it's ok..I'm tired anyway...I was sensitive to her comedy of errors moment she was nice so I didn't make a big deal out it...

[Girasuck]

ok, here we go...

So I was with my gf back in high school in her room which had no air conditioning and was in the middle of summer. At least 90 degrees in there. We were doing missionary for a bit, her on top for a bit, and then doggie. I looked down at her ass and she's got a stain wiped up her ass crack. The smell coming from her ass mixed with the heat in the room could kill you. I powered through it though and finished. Still have no idea how I got through it.

[lakerhaterade]

ok, here we go...

So I was with my gf back in high school in her room which had no air conditioning and was in the middle of summer. At least 90 degrees in there. We were doing missionary for a bit, her on top for a bit, and then doggie. I looked down at her ass and she's got a stain wiped up her ass crack. The smell coming from her ass mixed with the heat in the room could kill you. I powered through it though and finished. Still have no idea how I got through it.

That's nothing broskie, imagine if she had sharted while you ed her..my favorite bed sheets were stained

[Gummi Clutch]

was into the Club scene and haven't had some in over a year since that day. Met this super hot girl, and she was drunk to the point where she literally pulled me aside and asked me when we were going? I was like where? She said "Your place." Really surprising considering we had only talked around for like 20 minutes. So we went back to her place and my confidence was sky high. This was probably one of the hottest chicks I had ever seen. We go back she sucks me off and I am just thinking about how lucky I got it that night. We get down and this girl was a straight up fish. Didn't move worth of . I hadn't shaved in like 2 days so had a 5' O Clock shadow and she kept complaining about it. She had the nicest body and nicest s so the sex itself was pretty good from the standpoint of what she had to offer but this chick just sat there and moaned. Didn't move around at all.
I assumed she was just super drunk so I just kept going and I think she came like once or twice and even then I could barely tell.

This is where it gets bad.

We get up after its over, and I smell something really ranky. It smells downright terrible, like rotten fish and some other stuff fermenting. I look down and see white crap all over my condom. First response is I freak out thinking the condom ripped and or my leaked out but it seems pretty intact. She then tells me that all the white crap all over her and from my condom was her own . I had a hard time believing this and thought that it was some sort of discharge and she had an STD or yeast infection since it smelled bad. I'm pretty pissed at this point and ask her if she's lying to me. Doesn't end well and I end up washing up real well in the bathroom before leaving. When I get home I scrub down for about half an hour cuz I'm scared. Still not sure what it was or if it was normal or not but just glad I was ok.

my 2 Cents bro, but OP's story sounds way worse considering it was on his face.

[chunticakes]

I was about 19-20 and this girl I wanted to hit was smokin hot....... half black/Filipino. I was suckin on her tiggo bitties, went downtown and did my thang, then went to insert and tha bish laid there like a dead carcass. She never moved a single inch. I had to check her pulse to make sure she was still alive. ABSOLUTE worst sex I ever, ever had.

THIS.

i banged a fine filipina this one time. worst. sex. evar. laid on her back and didn't move or anything. i was willing to look past her huge bush but got damn she was horrible at secks. your story makes me wonder if it's a cultural thing.

and on a side note, op's story is bull . young lincoln is a straight up virgin. this we know.

[Monkeyboy14]

K so i was totally nailing this chick up, right? I mean we are doing 69, doggy, cowgirl, you name it! We were going to town. All of a sudden, this s right on my chest, full on poop. So naturally im like " !!! what the is your angle??" So i punch her in the mouth, she starts crying, my parents are in the next room and im trying to keep her quiet.. one thing leads to another and im standing over a dead es body with a bloody pipe and a can on febreze in my hands..

Now the bad part comes into play, cuz OBVIOUSLY im still horny (strangely this actually made me harder) so i go in for a BJ. This lifeless body has no jaw function so im getting a lot of goddamn teeth with this (worst blow job of all time i might add) sooo ya know being the problem solver that i am i decided to pull out her teach. That set for some smoooth sailing, especially since the blood helped to lubricated my D more than just the spit. But its still taking me forever to finish!! ( o ladies ) So i feel the need to tap that some more. So her V isnt wet anymore, due to that whole murder thing, so obviously i eat her out first. Ya know, just to get it drippin again. Then i continue to pursue my sexual adventure.

Worst comes to worst when im fishing and my parents walk in.. I stand up cuz im freaking out and dont want my parents walking in on my sexy times.. but im to close to call the army back.. sooo what happens? yup, i ejaculate all over my parents.. Now they are throwing up, its turning me on again.. but they have already seen my killing deed. So OBVIOUSLY i have to kill them too.. get that job done. Move to Norway. Now im living with my uncle peter who makes me tell him this story every night through the bathroom door while he is doing something im not sure of.

Easily in my top 5 worst sex experiences.

[The Reckoning]

dp

[The Reckoning]

She then tells me that all the white crap all over her and from my condom was her own . I had a hard time believing this and thought that it was some sort of discharge and she had an STD or yeast infection since it smelled bad. I'm pretty pissed at this point and ask her if she's lying to me. D

seriously? every girl gets that lotion-like white discharge when they have sex....

i'm usually too focused on my own performance to give a damn to detail of a woman. all sex is good sex to me.

[BUMP]

K so i was totally nailing this chick up, right? I mean we are doing 69, doggy, cowgirl, you name it! We were going to town. All of a sudden, this s right on my chest, full on poop. So naturally im like " !!! what the is your angle??" So i punch her in the mouth, she starts crying, my parents are in the next room and im trying to keep her quiet.. one thing leads to another and im standing over a dead es body with a bloody pipe and a can on febreze in my hands..

Now the bad part comes into play, cuz OBVIOUSLY im still horny (strangely this actually made me harder) so i go in for a BJ. This lifeless body has no jaw function so im getting a lot of goddamn teeth with this (worst blow job of all time i might add) sooo ya know being the problem solver that i am i decided to pull out her teach. That set for some smoooth sailing, especially since the blood helped to lubricated my D more than just the spit. But its still taking me forever to finish!! ( o ladies ) So i feel the need to tap that some more. So her V isnt wet anymore, due to that whole murder thing, so obviously i eat her out first. Ya know, just to get it drippin again. Then i continue to pursue my sexual adventure.

Worst comes to worst when im fishing and my parents walk in.. I stand up cuz im freaking out and dont want my parents walking in on my sexy times.. but im to close to call the army back.. sooo what happens? yup, i ejaculate all over my parents.. Now they are throwing up, its turning me on again.. but they have already seen my killing deed. So OBVIOUSLY i have to kill them too.. get that job done. Move to Norway. Now im living with my uncle peter who makes me tell him this story every night through the bathroom door while he is doing something im not sure of.

Easily in my top 5 worst sex experiences.

[jeebus]

and on a side note, op's story is bull . young lincoln is a straight up virgin. this we know.

a lot of the stories in here are bull . not really surprised at that though.

[chunticakes]

it's funny cuz sex is like pizza...even if it's bad it's good tbh....

[mrsmaalox]

Gross! Some of you guys sure do skank it up

I've had a couple of strange experiences but hygiene (or the lack there of) has never been an issue.

[mrsmaalox]

Small penis. Nuff said. (It only happened once)

Hey Judy, just curious--was this guy white, black, or brown?

[Trill Clinton]

size queens

[mrsmaalox]

size queens

Nope never been a size queen----function is much more important than size and there is so much more to sex than just the penis. I was just curious if Judy's experience in the size dept. was similar to mine

[JudynTX]

Hey Judy, just curious--was this guy white, black, or brown?

White

[JudynTX]

size queens

Awww, what's the matter? Did we hit a soft spot? (No pun intended)

[Trill Clinton]

yes. i had a late night rendezvous with a size queen(didnt' know beforehand). she had a jar full of magnum condoms and i tried one on..... slipped smooth off. i thought maybe i had a faulty condom so i tried again, same result.